What about our hands?

Of all the senses, surely touch is one of the most important when it comes to love. The feeling of a lover’s hand in our own, our hands snuggling close in a little ten-limbed embrace… not to mention all the other sexy things that hands can do…

What about our mouths?

Not only are they perfect for kissing… and other things… but they are what we use to whisper our words of undying love.

What about our eyes?

These are the windows to our souls… we gaze into each other’s eyes and see the love expressed there… and we use them to stare longingly at one another…

And what about our brains?

True, these are not the most attractive of our organs… but then again, the heart ain’t no raging beauty either. Our brains play a huge part in our romances. It is here that we keep our memories of that special person when they are apart from us. It is here in our language centers that we first put together those simple words: “I love you.” It is our brains that conjure up ideas like romantic moonlit walks on the beach or allow us to write a love poem or song.

I think maybe the reason that we first started using the concept of the heart as the romantic center of our beings is that when you first begin to realize that are in love, your heart begins to beat faster. This produces an intoxicating dizziness. And your entire torso begins to feels warm and flushed and starts to tingle. It does sort of feel like there is an inner fire radiating out from the center of your chest. Your blood courses through your veins making you feel ever so alive…

… and this leads us to the other organs that we might have chosen to represent love…

… because all that pumping blood is flowing to our naughty bits too…

… so it is sort of surprising that we didn’t pick the sex organs for this role…

… and it makes me sort of proud that the poets were not more immature…

… or we would all be getting chocolates in boxes shaped like our genitals…

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Ladies… if you want diamonds and gold for Valentine’s Day and every other holiday, and your birthday and anniversary, maybe you should have just married this guy…

Or Donald Trump…

I am just throwing that out there…

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Guys… don’t buy the love of your life cut flowers. Get a living plant, keep it in the house for a while to remind her how sweet you are, and then plant it in the garden to show her that your love will continue to grow and flourish. Keep the love alive… and fill her life with colors and fragrances that will constantly remind her of you…

Unless you are dating a psycho-bitch… then cut flowers are fine… I mean, how long do they really need to last?

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Ladies… if you have ever said to your man: “Does this dress make me look fat?”… then I don’t think we should give you chocolate for valentine’s Day.

Or is this just another one of those ‘mixed message’ things?

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Guys… If you give your lady a single rose, and you leave the thorns on it…

Then you might as well give her this card too…

Because the ladies love to laugh.

(Okay, I apologize for that one… I tried to talk the crack squirrels out of it… because I thought it was immature and a little vulgar… but you know what those crazy rodents living in my cranium are like)…

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I thought it might be fun to think about Valentine’s Day… you know… if you call what I do thinking…

I decided that Valentine’s Day is another one of those things we do that we just do because we have been doing it for a long time, and it evolved to be the way it is slowly over time, but now we never bother to question how much sense it really makes. So I have set the crack squirrels in my head to the job of mulling over this strange semi-religious sex-fest of a holiday.

I hope you enjoyed what they came up with.

Because they are a little curious about how a holiday named after a saint turned into a day where more people on the planet are planning on ‘getting lucky’ than any other day of the year…

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Being ‘head over heels’ in love is great…

But being ‘heels over head’ in love is just plain sexy.

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