If you are actually here on my blog and not just looking at this on the reader walls, I need you to look down… yes… down there… at the post I put up this morning… the one right below this post… the one that says it is the seventh submission to my art contest…

Okay, good… now bear with me… and this is the important part that you seem to have missed… and I know you missed it because nobody is commenting on it… but I want you to read that post… no… you don’t have to read the whole thing… just the poem… go ahead, I will wait…

Are you done? Do you see now why I am being so bossy about this? That nice girl wrote that poem about me and my writing and my blog. This isn’t just about the art contest any more. It isn’t even really about me… okay, well that isn’t true, you know me too well for that… but did you read those words? I was moved. I was honored. I was touched. And I felt like it went by with too little notice.

And I hate to do one of those things where I hold my own blog hostage until you give in and do what I want you to because it makes me seem spoiled and petulant and maybe even a little tyrannical… but on the other hand, since the stated purpose of this blog is to take over the entire freakin’ world, you can hardly expect perfect behavior from a psychotic, pathological, power-mad leader of an evil criminal enterprise… especially one that has a cranium full of crack-addicted squirrels… now can you?

So just read the damn poem.