I have a new blog friend. She calls herself AZ Gringa… which I think means ‘white girl now living in Arizona’.
You should check her out, over at: http://bleachedbonevalley.wordpress.com/
I have been reading her whole blog… and she has started reading mine… you know, you meet new people and it is all exciting… you get carried away… trust me, this is a better deal for me… she is relatively new to blogging, but I have like a million posts… HA!
But as I read through her old posts, I began to realize that she has serious health issues… this isn’t a secret, she blogs about them. And I also realized that I have quite a few blog friends that have serious health issues. And to someone who doesn’t know me, I can seem like a real asshole… I mean, if you stumble across some of the comments I leave on posts done by people who are battling chronic pain and depression and illnesses of all sorts, you might think that I am the world’s most cold-blooded jerk.
Here is a comment I left on one of her more heartrending posts:
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Some of your posts are hard to comment on… I have this history of being less than overly-supportive…. it started when my best friend was dying of brain cancer. He had a lot of sisters. He had all the sweetness and support he could use. So I was the funny asshole. I teased him. I treated him like a normal person. He liked it. Later I did home health care work. I treated everybody like I treat everybody…. with less teasing… and people like it. So when I am making jokes about your condition, I hope you remember this and try to understand that I do it out of love… because I am sensitive and full of empathy… having me cry isn’t going to make you feel better, but if I can make you laugh, it might make us both feel better… crap… that was good… I need to do a post about that…
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All of my blog friends dealing with serious health issues have figured all this out, and love me for it… but if you stumble across one of my comments and take it out of context, I hope this explains the way I am and makes you want to kill me a little less.
Pouring My Art Out 
Oh no, you must really pity me – you’ve been too sweet in your comments to me! 😉
That is because I like you
So you’re like the Hawkeye of blogs? Asshole or not, you’re cool in my book.
-Christy
I will settle for being a cool asshole… I think… thanks
Arthur, you dear man, the comedian role is the most difficult in end-of-life care, for exactly the reason you give in this blog post. I have never been offended by your comments on my blog or any other. Stay who you are. We who know you, love you and your jokes, etc. Any who don’t afren’t important enough to worry about. XOXO
You have touched me deeply… uh… I mean, you know… in a way that isn’t nearly as sexy as that sounded…
Can’t stop giggling now!
yay
It is a proven fact that laughter really is the best medicine. (I actually wrote a post on it.) Humour is usually my go to tool for any sad situation. However, it is really, really, really (3 reallys because I can’t stress it enough) important that people who are ill are treated “normal”. When I was doing the dance with cancer everyone was treating me like I was made of glass. We had already lost my Mom when I was younger to the same thing and I guess everyone was scared. Driving home one day from one of my treatments one of my best friends got really pissed at me about something and told me to, “Fuck Off”. I laughed until I cried because 1) I deserved it, and 2) she had the nerve to say it to me. It was the first time someone wasn’t tip toeing around me and it was the first time I realized I wasn’t going to die. If she could tell me that I must be going to live. 😉
I remember that post you did. When I was doing the home health care thing, I used to take some of my clients out to the park… help them do wheelies in their wheelchairs.. stuff like that… people respond to me because I am a freak. Thanks
What about those who loved you cause they thought you were an asshole?:) Totally agree, can’t judge people on one action…or comment….we are complex people….
I have met people who love other people because they are assholes… there is usually some psychotic trauma in their pasts.
I now want to kill you a little less.
I am making progress…
Perhaps. Don’t blow it.
ok
Keep doing what you do. Life tries to throw a spanner in the works sometimes, and to fix it requires a dose of good humour, and flipping a middle finger often helps aswell.
spanner… when are you English going to learn to speak English???
It’s a phrase , throw a spanner in the works
You have spanners there right?
no… we have wrenches…
It’s: heart-wrenching… not heart-spannering
what about, throw a banana in the works?
You have bananas? 😀
I like it… yesterday Mollie and I were getting silly after buying the sushi ingredients and we invented a new food… bananaise… mayonnaise with a hint of banana
😀 That may work. Maybe.
I actually hate bananas, but love banana flavoured things.
Like many out there, I deal with chronic pain daily but HUMOR by far, is the best medicine I take (of the 200). Any opportunity to laugh, I jump right on it. Keep doing what you are doing! 🙂
Thank you… and feel better…
Dude, you have your own style. Those who know you understand that you have a good heart.
Thanks.
Nah, you’re just a jerk. Haha But that’s why we all love ya. 😀
It is good to hear sometimes. I know I suffer with pain every single day and some are worse than others, so hearing you being a dick about it is kind of refreshing 🙂 Carry on there
I do the best I can… but if I ever go too far, kick my ass.
I will 🙂
good
I had to read it twice to make sure it didn’t say “kiss my ass” hah
not volunteering for that, huh?
Not this lifetime ha
oh well
haha
yup
I should get a minion for that
Yep, that’ll work
It won’t be easy
Nothing ever is.,
not for me they aren’t
Spot on, Art. Seriously. I mean I’m kidding. Or something. I’m one of those sickies. And you know what? I need the humor, as much as oxygen. Or actually in my case, as much as TP.
Here is one of my zillions of Freshly Pressed posts on this very subject: http://fiftyfourandahalf.com/2012/10/13/hey-doc-lighten-up/
And since I wrote about it, that means it’s set in stone. Or perhaps porcelain.
that was awesome…
Thanks, Art. I am proud of this one.
as well you should be
I’m so offended 😉
HA! Hey, I told my new friend about you… she suffers from depression and has a history of abuse… I told her to come visit your blog, but it would be awesome if you paid her a visit… I think your blog would do her good…
That’s so sweet of you thank you!! I’ll drop by 🙂
I spread the love and the pain… HA!
Ha! We’ve since connected.
I’m sure that sounds sexier than it really was… HA!!!
*Face Palm*
oh yeah
*shaking head*
ha
*Double Face Palm*
oh yeah…
People need to remember that what may be offensive to one person isn’t necessarily offensive to the next. They need to realize that it’s not always about them we all have different tastes. If what you do makes someone happier then keep doing it. Life isn’t all daisies it’s good to know there are people who keep it real and treat all like equals.
It is all a context thing. I never met a person who actually has a problem take my jokes about the problem as a problem…if you see what I mean…
Ha ha ha yeah 😛
indeed
Actually, a “gringa” is a woman of any nationality/race/ethnicity who speaks English.
I do speak English. Oddly enough, I do not speak Spanish.
Just German and French…
You make me sound way smarter than I actually am.
You do me too…