*Every time somebody follows me on Twitter, an angel laughs so hard that angel dust shoots out her nose…
*No… I don’t think I’m better than you… I mean, other people might think that… but that isn’t my fault.
*Stay focused on your goals, because that way… hey… donuts…
*You’re not the boss of me… hell, I’m barely the boss of me…
*Don’t tell me I am! Because I am fairly sure I’m not…
*Hold your horses… no, you don’t have to pick them up… I just mean… never mind… go right ahead…
*Vote to rename all hurricanes after politicians that deny global climate change… tropical depression Michelle Bachmann has a nice ring to it…
*Phlegm is a funny word… unless you have a cold…
*Do I even listen to myself when I talk???
*Will I still respect me in the morning?
*Why can’t they make this little box bigger? Oh… right… because then we would be bloggers
*Keep your eye on the tiger… no, not that one… the one right behind you
*Did you know that ‘gnocchi’ is not Italian for a doctor of lady parts???
*Dear Vladimir Putin… I think a good doctor could remove that stick from your butt… glad I could help
*No one makes a better me than I do… but feel free to put in an application…
*My face knows exactly what my heart means…
*The crack squirrels inside my head are particularly active today
*Why did I think going to a gym class called ‘boot camp’ would be a good idea? Ow!
*My fellow Americans… do you want fries with that?
*Would you still love me if I wasn’t so damn sexy?
*Put on your big-boy pants… huh? Yes, you can wear the diaper underneath… sheesh
*Happy Labor day to all you pregnant women giving birth!
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Just thought I would share some more of my Tweets for those of you who do not Tweet. Remember, you don’t have to tell me how brilliant I am here…you can tell me how brilliant I am here: http://wp.me/p25PYJ-21u
Pouring My Art Out 
I love your tweets, perhaps the best of everything you write – because they have to get to the point in 144 characters! 144 characters of pure wit!
pure something… HA… but thanks
I was reading while I read this. Phlegm. Ick. 🙂
wait… you were reading while you read it? Is that even possible? HA!
Ugh. Darn phone! Eating…not reading. Fail!
I figured it out and appreciated almost making you sick… HA!
I figured you would:)
really???
Yes…I figured you put it there solely to gross me out. Right? Wait…what are we talking about 🙂
phlegm… and you assuming I was smart enough to figure something out…
Oh yea, what was I thinking?
sigh… I know, right?
*Every time somebody follows me on Twitter, an angel laughs so hard that angel dust shoots out her nose…
Oh dear… I can imagine junkies lining up under the angel… oh wait, I said that out loud, didn’t I?
Yes, I know you are runnin’ a family-friendly blog here, drugs are bad, except when the doctor says they are good, m’kay?
but I did all these on Twitter… I am in a bit of a spot
Nothing wrong with that– there a fair number of WordPress bloggers on Twitter.
It’s not quite so much my fancy as I have a hard time condensing my thoughts to 140 characters.
I just use a different set of guidelines over there
Tweet on Brother!!
thanks
I’m probably going to “borrow” some of these tweets.
I have 22 more pages just like that, and I am only half way through my old tweets, and this doesn’t include the # games…
I actually went into labor on Labor Day, so thanks! Only 12 years late, but it’s all good.
I was going to send a card…
hehe
and flowers
i wasn’t holding my breath or anything.
I have let you down… sorry
Nah, flowers make me sneeze anyway. You were thinking of my safety.
I am just that thoughtful… hey… we would all love it if you would leave one comment… or a few hundred comments… on our post where we are breaking the record for most comments on a wordpress post… I think there is a link at the bottom of the twit wit post…
What? My other comments on that page weren’t good enough…You don’t really mean that, do you? What is this world coming too…am I that invisible? Boohoo. Okay, I’m over it. I’ll come by and leave a few more.
uh oh… I let you down again… you have to understand that half the comments are mine and I answer hundreds a day… I forget who said what… and all I have to go on is a little picture… and I forget stuff anyway… If you have been here and I forgot, I am truly sorry…
It’s okay. I have changed the picture. I was the one with those red high heels in the air. Remember me now? I’m gonna go ahead and assume you do.
Hey… I do… didn’t I tease you about that picture… I used my quote: head over heels in love is nice, but not as nice as the heels over head kind…
Yup! Phew, I didn’t get lost in the multitudes. I decided people could look at my face for just a little while.
it is a very nice face
awww, flattery gets you…anything!
hey… family blog… HA!