Yeah, I have a Santa tiki… well, my wife does, because I gave it to her for Christmas last year… no… that isn’t the only thing I gave her.
And on my Christmas tree, I have little bears made out of cookie dough. My kids baked them when they were little… but I added the tie dye outfits…
I also have a Cat in the Hat ornament that I made. I drew it, cut it out, inked and colored it, and mounted it on wood…
And I made this cute little mouse in a present picture that is inside a clear plastic ornament. I should have taken a picture of the back, because it is the same picture but from the rear…
Okay, the other day I had to stop the car, get out, and take this picture… because it is a giant ‘A’ in the clouds, and my name starts with ‘A’. Those are not airplane contrails. They are natural clouds. I thought about touching this up in Photoshop a little and making it even more ‘A’-like, but I decided not to…
Now is the part of the post that might drive you crazy… if you live where you have to dig your car out of the snow every day…
These are the kinds of sunsets we are getting in San Diego right now.
Yesterday it was 82 degrees… if you live in another country, I think that would be 237.5/6ths centigrade… or whatever you call it… but whatever you call it, that is pretty warm for winter. Nothing says Christmastime like a nice, Hawaiian shirt…
Pouring My Art Out 
You were so close with your estimation of 237.5/6ths celsius for 82. It really would be about 27.5 degrees celsius. See you were smart & didn’t even know it!
I was only off by 100 or so???
I sure love you… 🙂
awww… I bet you say that to all the crack squirrel-infested, slightly psychotic, weirdo, freak authors that write you into a murder mystery as a hot hooker!!!
How did you know? I hate it when people figure me out so easily!
I am just that good.
That is so cool, the natural A cloud. Was there a 9 somewhere too?
I don’t get it?
And that should come as a surprise?
Maybe not
Cloud 9?
Oh… duh… good one…
Doesn’t seem right!
Yes it does
Where’s the picture with the “nice” Hawaiian shirt? HA.
I have no sense of fashion.
This is a sight where it is fashionable to have no sense. Did I mix that up?…… No. I got it right.
um…
You have the sensing of no fashion. You are our choice of a sharp fashion police.
I’d choose the mousy.
I do like the mouse… have to keep it away from the cat…
Indeed!
yup
It was my hair in the original gravatar that tipped you to my sense of fahion and style no doubt.
I thought your head was made of spam… and you never did fix my credit…
Noncents. Did you know there is a Jalapeno Spam?. It’s about $3.50 a can state side. I don’t know how those Hawaiians can afford it. Especially when they spend all their money on ugly shirts. HA
Don’t be a stateist!
You’re probably right. They sell all the ugly shirts to California tourist and keep the nice ones. But it is true they consume more Spam per capita than anyone else. I don’t know if that has anything to do with the influence of old U.S. military cuisine or not.
Many other South Sea island cultures love the stuff too.
Sounds like a WWII infulence.
That is the theory.
Your hair bears a “functional group” (a term in chemistry.)
Ahh! The chemistry gantlet is thrown. Behold:
Scientific Haikus
Fever, aches and pains?
Try C9H8O4.
Buffered, if you please.
Hold your applause until the end, please.
Stink of rotten eggs.
Is it H2SO4,
Or fire and brimstone?
Now you may applaud.
I’d like to thank all the little people…
H2Oh shut up
a dysfunctional group… (a term from my family)
Y’all don’t know what you’re missing. I’ll send you a cup of snow. And some daggers aimed at yer heart.
If you could keep only one of those ornaments, which one would you choose?
Cat in the Hat ornament. But I might eat it.
High fiber… low fat… good choice…
The snow doesn’t fill you up?
ha
Silly. Everbody knows there is no fat or fiber in snow. That’s why it not at all filling. I would think you knew that El Norte.
You have to mold it into the shape of a turkey or a cheeseburger first… duh
You’re right. Sometimes I miss the obvious. Looking at both those sentences, neither the first or sencond happen with any real regularity. (Is it going to one of those esoteric humour (spelling a nod to El Norte and the other Canuks) days here?
I have no control over what kind of day it is going to be here… or there
lol…I haven’t seen snow here in days. DAYS.
It is sneaking up on you.
How do you know?
I invented snow… I also invented snew
Are you sure that wasn’t Al Gore, inventor of the internet?
I thought he invented interbreeding
or gill netting
That’s cool. I invented know. And knew.
Yes. You did and do.
Which came first? You knew you needed know, but did you know you needed knew?
Know telling.
No telling.
What about you? And ewe?
ewww
lol
no lol
Why not? pol
I hate it.
oh. Do you hate pol?
I don’t even know what it is
yes you do…you already guessed it
Well now I forgot what we were even talking about
pol
Pol Pot?
Baah. Ewe leave me out of this. Ewe started it.
It was a ewephemism
OH! Very good. And the award goes to…
I need to eat breakfast. Feel free to carry on with your return broadside. She will return to her ship to find it full of holes.
I’ll stand watch. The sea seem sto be at dead calm for now.
Never turn your back on the sea… or a blogger…
rrrrrr… you were supposed to ask: what’s snew?
and then I would say: Nothing much, what’s snew with you?
You were expecting cooperation from her. HA. Silly boy. I would have thought you snew better by now.
sigh… Hey, just finished the murder mystery… the last six chapters are awesome!
But I already snew that joke.
oh well, win a few, lose a few…
Like 20/80?
The obverse of Pareto principle.
Deal
Or no deal
that is the question
Love the Romeo/Juliette sequel…
Arise fair sun and kill the envious moon
What light through yonder window breaks… it is the dawn
it is the EAST
EAST
and Juliette is the sun
Yeah, she’s hot
she’s also 14
Not now… she is like 400 and something years old…
You said she was hot
I mean in the same way as the sun is… you said she was the sun…
No, Romeo said she was the sun.
because he got burned
He said she was the sun so she could arise and kill the envious moon who was already sick & pale with grief that she was more powerful than he. Sigh. Do you even like poetry?
I was being silly. You tried to make me sound like a pedophile. Do you even like children? HA!!!!!!!!!!!
Ha!!!!!!!
yeah, ha
Or obtuse of parrot pringles
I don’t do numbers…
Then just say “yes.” Yes is a word.
No it isn’t
If yes isn’t a word, then what is it?
It is agreement
See. It’s not moi. I haven’t been here all this time and still shes trying to get you to agree with her. It’s the weather that makes her obstinate, like I said.
Exactly.
Yes… oh… dang it…
Snow kidding? Snow what.
ha
sigh
And I knew that.
ha
Look out Thursday night and Friday there, but it won’t last long. Way to warm.Friday. Tomorrow it will be about 60 here, same Friday. No, Art. I don’t want to hear the temps in San Diego for the same days.
no you do not
That’s why I quit watching the Rose Parade. All of them along the route smugly standing there in their light jackets in the sun in January. BAH!
We got sun, we ain’t afraid to use it.
That’s creepy. How do you know everything?
I know. “Stop doing that.” Like I said at another time in another place, I can’t suppress it. I have a source for inside information, especially the weather this time of year. I also know whose been naughty or nice too. Don’t bother hanging your stocking on the mantle this year, you with that black Christmas tree. Just sayn’.
Now we know why he usually wear that funny red hat… ha!
So, let me see if I get this right? Santa wants me to hang my stockings on my tree?
Don’t get him thinking about your stockings…
LOL
Or your peep toe stilettos and painted toes. Lord, have mercy! You all go crazy in my absence.
😀
I told you not to get him started…
LIke she has ever listened to either one of us?
word
stop that
Stirring it up already. She knows this is an “LOL-free” zone. Antagonizing so early in the game.
I get no respect
I wouldn’t stand for it. It’s good you’re already sitting.
Am I???
POL
Peeing out loud?
yes…how’d you guess…
yay
Notice what she thought was a sly little shift there, Art? I said “stocking.” SHE then morphed it into “stockings” in her reply. Totally different connotation. Can’t you just see her: Twisting her little finger in her little pink dimpled cheek, “Oh, did I do that? Ooops.” She exploits my weaknesses. “For a [woman] who has only lived one life, you know to much…” Is there no honor among poets?
It was an honest mistake (blink, blink, blink), Sir. I was thinking of my family.
And that is how families end up being started…
What? Blinking?
no
lol…
no
sorry. One more for all mankind.
One small laugh for man, one giant lol for mankind
Exactly
Precisely
That’s it… I am opening a singles bar…
Put in a corner booth with my name on a brass plaque on the table edge, if you would. Make it a horseshoe-shaped one so I can get everybody in nice and cozy but still limit access. It would be nice if it were partitioned off for privacy too. Perhap a curtain while your at it.
I said bar, not brothel…
“Oh. Never mind.”
I never do.
for married singles
Ewephemism. Married singles. You are rested up and ready for battle, aren’t you?
I am, as I have clearly shown, on fire.
I now have errands. Steady as she goes. Turning over the helm, Captiain.
No… read my bar comment first
He is the weather man
It’s somewhat devoid of calories.
Cook it first.
Well then you are obviously eating the wrong kind of snow. Go deeper.
Yeah. Try the tastier permafrost.
Our permafrost isn’t… ha
I was thinking of the meaty stuff…
Oh lord… why do I bother?
Because you are actually asleep right now and you can’t control anything that is happening. And not happening.
I was asleep when this came in so… yeah
I took the night off too. Looks like a wise choice, what with the northern interloper breaching the peace.
Interloping is as interloping does…
So just so she’ll be beautiful, she does it every day?
Keeps her legs toned
Me too. We both got lucky on that one.
She does her best work when we aren’t around.
If that be her best. she best be uppin’ her game. Arrr.
Arrrrrighty then
I know you were (Santa told me he’s sees when you are sleeping). Thats why I said it.
He sees me because he is crashing on our couch… got kicked out of his house.
Why was that?
Labor dispute with the elves
Ohhhhhh right.
Corporations are elves too
How do you feel about that?
It isn’t up to me…
You’re avoiding the question (as I suspected you might).
ha
Get the kind on the cones… with the flavoring…
Ha
aH
HaH
haw
Just when things were calming down. She gets this way when the weather’s gloomy there…which is often apparently.
I think maybe it might be you that puts her in this state… I know it isn’t me.
Moi? Whatever do you mean?
The cookie one with the matching red and green Christmas mold on the back.
You make it sound so appetizing you should go into advertising.
Yeah, that one is pretty unique!
It’s a fungus… not mold…
That’s cool. Just spread on a little Tinactin before eating it.
It isn’t food… anymore…
Be careful there. Now your going to hurt the kids feelings. They’ll know why you insisted on making their homemade cookies into ornaments in the first place.
It is sort of a special dough… no sugar… or something…
Unique flavor too. So what appendage do you start with when eating a gingerbread man?
That is a trick question… I always start with my mouth… which is not an appendage at all…
Genius question, if I do say so myself. I always start with the head because it’s more humane that way.
She eats cows the same way.
Only if they’re organic.
The heads are crunchy.
Not if they are organic.
They are when deep fried.
this is too weird for me.
Why would somebody buy organic and then deep fry it?
Flavor?
Just…no.
ok
That’s right. The flavor’s in the fat. Remember those McDonald’s FRENCH fries originally fried in lard? Deep fired tête de vache to those snooty french speaking Canadians. Probably appropriate in French. Anyone who would eat baby birds whole while draping their heads in a napkin, EWWW indeed. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.” Looove that PC line from Seinfeld.
Don’t forget to cover your deep fried organic cow head with a napkin…
uh… organic cows still have bones don’t they???
Well nooooo…when was the last time you ate organic duh.
organic dung???
Clearly, that was DUH, not dung. What’s the matter with you?!
That would require an organic diet on organically grown feed for an animal to create organic dung. Organically speaking, anyway.
I would have to agree with that
I am going to try it myself… ha
She’s agreeing with you? Watch your backside. She’s probably cranking up that kickboxer foot as I type. I’ll bet she had her fingers crossed when she said it.
Or her toes
where are you going to put it?
shhhhh
Oh, I thought we were talking about orgasmic…
I need new glasses?
Preferably not sunglasses
Never…
Must make it hard for them to walk around… and make new organic cows… if they have no bones…
uh… wow… I will have to think about that…
No thinking allowed
I can’t just rush into an answer… that’s crazy talk.
What’s crazy talk is you suddenly trying to change your personality just because you don’t want to answer the question! Egad.
I have so many personalities, I just put a new one on for a while like a jacket.
Wouldn’t it be fun to have a vehicle for each one?
Yeah… I have a hat for each one…
Uh…I said vehicle. You said hat.
I can’t afford a vehicle for each of them
That’s the saddest thing I have ever heard. You didn’t make it on Santa’s nice list either I suppose…
He made it on Satan’s naughty list.
I’ve heard it’s a really hot list.
I see she tried to match swords with your wit. So was so far out of her light-weight class. 😛
but there’s no one else to battle
I had other inorganic fish to fry last night. Sorry I missed it.
The fish? You missed the fish?
And the chips, Mister.
You always miss those
We should randomly pick other commenters and drag them into the fray!
I suspect they are practicing “duck and cover.” That’s an almost obsure reference the delicate of age may not recognize. As such, it is probably wasted on El Norte.
It pays to keep your head down
Good idea!
Is that blognapping???
Only if you’re not involved. If you’re involved it’s just conversation.
Sometimes I am not even here for these conversations.
Woah. That’s cool. I wish I could do that. Does it make you itchy?
Depends what I’m not here doing… or doing not here…
that’s amazing
I know
I pulled my punches.
I got bumped off by some Republican…
POL
Puke out loud!
No no no…the other one
ok
You disparage me in my absence; give quarter to my attacker? I thought this was a benevolent dictatorship here?
I never take sides… everybody gets what’s coming to them!
Don’t fall for that thinking line. He’s bluffing.
I am taking the month off from thinking
I think you should make it a New Year’s resolution. Just thinkn’ out loud.
Don’t be like that
LIke what? I lost my train of thought.
Who remembers…
Got it.
Can you really take that chance?
We have snow… we just have to drive up a big hill to get to it. We keep our snow like other people keep animas in a zoo.
Keeping animals in a zoo is cruel!
I wasn’t saying it was right, just saying we keep our snow in captivity. We don’t let it run around in the streets.
Free the snow! Free the snow!
You barbarians.
They like it… those sleek, well fed snows