Oh, grow up. I am not getting ready to pull an Anthony Wiener out of my pants. I just mean I am once again going into my drawers full of stuff I scribbled down at one time or another to find some old thing and bring it back to life. This is a little poem I wrote when I was a young teen… which explains the drug references and nudity, I suppose… It is a country Western poem, because I just wanted to give that a try, so if anybody wants to put some twangy guitar music to it and sing it in a slightly nasally voice, be my guest.

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The Ballad Of Dusty Trails

Dusty was a cowboy, he lived many years ago

That Dusty was a drifter, he didn’t have no place to go

Dusty was born in a stagecoach, down around San Antone

But his mother was back in Pittsburg, poor Dusty was born all alone

That boy was a bad one, Lord, as mean as mean could be

He’d spit in a rattlesnake’s eye, just so the critter couldn’t see

He loved to smack a Grizzly, right upside its head

And then pull out his six-gun, and fill it full of lead

Dusty he was famous, for his shiny Colt .45

He could castrate a fly at a hundred yards, or skin a cow alive

Dusty, Dusty Trails, the story is widely spread

About the day you got peyote’d out, and slept on a cactus bed

And everybody in the West has heard, yeah, everybody knows

About the time you ate those spotted mushrooms, and threw away your cloths

Dusty was a dry one, he loved to drink his booze

He said it cleared the dust from his throat, but that was just a bad excuze

Dusty would use his lasso, and rope himself a steer

Just for a few hamburgers, to help digest the beer

Dusty turned to a life of crime, I guess he needed cash

The buffalo herds had migrated past, and ate up all his stash

One day a sheriff saw him, and he shot Dusty dead

He needed two bucks to get his pocket watch fixed, that was the price on Dusty’s head

They say that you danced naked, in half the towns out West

But I was there and I saw you, you still had on your vest

Nobody knew why you acted that way, they found it just a little scary

But I know it’s ’cause you smoked that funny stuff.. that grows way out… on the lone prairie