It was in Las Vegas we tied the knot
After a two hour romance so blistering hot
I loved you more than words can tell
————————————-
**********************
(Remember today is Dr. Seuss day
And you must rhyme everything you say
Even in the comment thread
Or else to me, you will be dead)
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Pouring My Art Out by Arthur H. Browne is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.Based on a work at https://pouringmyartout.wordpress.com/.
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Pouring My Art Out 
aren’t shotgun weddings really swell
I like it… but I don’t know if I get the sense there were any shotguns involved… more like lust and booze…
Once again parts of me are starting to swell.
So here’s one more for the road
You crotchety blogwhore evil toad
I set my alarm to quarter after nine
So that I can read this bloggish crime
Oh the humanity and the death of poets
This is literary apocalypse and you know it
Smatterings of the uncouth and the insane
Blended together by folks who have no shame
Well I have a spot in hell for me and you
A sturdy whisky-laden table for two
When you feel the fire touching your skin
I hope to finally wash away that creepy gravatar grin
But in the meantime let’s drink to our demise
Two maladjusted and unrepentant guys
At least I’m pretty sure that you’re a dude
Because if not I’d marry you in the nude
A dude I am, I do declare it
Are you asking me to grin and bare it???
And yes, I do think that sounds swell
A romantic dinner for two in hell
We will toast the devil, and give him his due
Then I’ll boot his ass with my size 15 shoe
I like the way you think
And the size of your foot (wink wink)
Let’s give the devil all his due
And cover hell in layers of poo
Let’s wine and dine and see what occurs
And import Rhonda for being a bad girl
Devil devil devil you got it comin
That’s the tune I’ll be hummin
When I deliver a kick to your behind
And afterwards with Art have a good grind
I wish I could quit you… or whatever the quote from Brokeback Mountain was…
Hang on, I’ll get my cowboy hat.
Ha.
I got in I got in! Am i too late
It took me so long what a terrible wait
I lined up at the door with beavers and nuns
Thought I’d be sneaky and miss Lewins puns
I’m here now, I’m in, what did I miss
The previous thread was absolute bliss!
I know what I want and I know what I like
I’ll follow you now and pass on the mic
Whooo hoo!
You have to do better than that
Jo Jo Jo of the jungle
She’s so swell when she grabs my bungle
I let her swing on all my vines
And laugh at all my awesome rhymes
Jo Jo Jo’s got game
She returned and made my day
Now you are talking
It is never too late for a joke about a nun
And a poem about a beaver is always fun
We talked about glitter and we talked about poo
We talked about body parts and there are quite a few
We listened to puns from North of the border
From a guy who might have a serious mental disorder
Please clarify “might have a serious mental disorder”
Disorder? I don’t even know her!
I am running on fumes here. I been rhyming for 16 hours. I have a house full of people. Didn’t sleep well last night. I got lost in the middle of all this and just kept trying to plow forward. I didn’t mean anything I said.
It’s all good. Attend to your family my man, I have no idea how you kept this up. You are a man amongst men… at least some of them are men. Actually, most of the men probably aren’t men… but I digress.
It’s over its done
It’s past twelve – you won
What’s this – mental disorder
Jungle Jo has one too
Ask Lewin he taught her
So sorry I missed the sparkly glitter
I’m taking the beaver
He’s my new favorite critter
There is nothing left but the mess… and a hangover the size of Detroit
And then I sneezed backwards and swallowed my own snot.
I keep forgetting what I did, and these random sentences take me by surprise… but good one…
… Las Vegas to tie the knot…
🙂
It was in Las Vegas we tied the knot
After a two hour romance so blistering hot
I loved you more than words can tell
Now it’s time to return you to hell
————————————-
That is the line almost word for word
That inside my head I originally heard
it’s a natural…it was either him or her…but one came from down under
Exactly my thinking
great minds….
I would like to offer a comment on the great minds hereabouts
Dude and dudette, suck it grandly because Trent is out
Fuck that didn’t make any sense at all
Damn monkey is jiggling my balls
If it wasn’t fun I’d move aside a step or two
But you take what you can get when you live in an igloo
Hang on to your balls for a sec will ya?
What? I said What?
It was a hoot and half and what do you mean you are out? Am reading your hot mess right now…will advise…but as for this comment….what???
Now that I read my comment I wonder what I meant
I certainly did not mean to make homosexual offence
But yeah I’d probably switch sides for my friend Art
Get out the tent fort and save up your…
Oh boy.
Okay, now I’m worried NB…this one does not make your first any more clear. Is it me? Has my mind gone totally to shite after this barrage of rhyming runes? I got NO homosexual offence out of what you wrote the first time…a little twinge where the monkey’s concerned…but the other? nope. I’m tickled for ya that you’d bat for the other team for your artful friend, but again…where did THAT come from? You’ve spent too much time in that tent w/the nun releasing toxic gas me thinks.
We all got a little carried away… what happens on Dr. Seuss day stays on Dr Seuss day…
SIGH
I told you my name was Alexander Graham Bell
Receiver of the first automated sales call
Click
Did you just hang up on me?
Your call is very important. Please stay on the line….
Ha!!!
Then I went rolling in the deep with Adele
Once again, you add class to the joint
But I do appreciate your point
Floint
right
Left
Forward, march.
so why torture me with your armpit smell!?
gnarly
Hey, I’m nominating you for a Versatile Blogging Award…See it here! YAAAAY…Because your Awesome 🙂
http://lyndzeerae27.wordpress.com/2013/07/31/best-bloggin-day-ever-until-i-realized-what-i-was-in-for/
I am… unable to fulfill my part of this tremendous honor right now… but I can’t even say why… but I will try when I… am where I can do it… and thank you…
There’s nothing below
You’re right off your nut
Hurry up to the airport
Get up off your butt
Rush rush don’t delay
The plane will soon land
Bring Jessica home
and all will be grand.
I knew you would be good at this
Each tender word just like a kiss
I am back, the kid is here
And now I think I need a beer…
It’s time you’re back
without ado
get back on the keyboard
and do what you do.
Do what you do
suck down that beer
we’ve waited and waited
for you to appear.
Get down to it
please do not slack
we’re in a big hurry
now that you’re back.
This has now devolved into a pit of sin
I may switch from beer to gin
Don’t stop at gin
Go right to tequila
Salt and some lemon
Will make you a squeelah.
You’ll whoop and you’ll yelp
and you’ll go back to gin
a quick beer chaser
and you’ll do it again.
I wish you had been here the entire day
Things might not have gone so far astray…
Astray in what way?
Where did they go?
Moving along
or against the flow?
We just ended up doing dirty jokes
In poetry form we were naughty folks
Nothing was working
It all fell apart
Not a fax or a phone
Or even my heart
The work sputtered out
I thought it might end
There wasn’t a doubt
no solution to send
I had to step sprightly
and make a wild pass
with hope that my action
just might save our ass
I rushed, how I hate that
to fix what was broke
It happened, I swear it
I ain’t blowing smoke
The post that is up now
Was up there last night
I wrote in a fever
to make it quite right
I had a disaster
On our Dr. Seuss Day
I’m sorry, forgive me
Please let me play.
I didn’t just leave you
to hang out to dry
Please, please forgive me
I don’t want to cry.
I could never be angry at you
We are too much like thing one and thing two
I am glad you had this chance to explain
But I have to pick Jessica up from her plane
I will be back in an hour or so
And you should check out what’s been written below
It was in Las Vegas we tied the knot
After a two hour romance so blistering hot
I loved you more than words can tell
I told the police you simply fell
off the top of that building over there
you were drunk and now I’m a millionaire
You extended it… you suspended it… you upended it… you defended it… you amended it…
you pretended it
doesn’t matter
but I know
you’re a mad hatter
Mind over matter
will make the pooh unfatter
but only if you slather
said poo into a lather
Are we back to shaving booty
Then you better do your doody
did you mean a Howdy Doody
…
I got nothin 🙂 I’m pooped
And now my life is a living hell
That is what I was going for
ha 🙂
What was your name again – Belle?
That was swell
We used to be one and the same.
No followers or fans,
Our blogs were quite lame.
I lost touch and went away awhile,
Lived in motels,
No internet connection for a mile.
But I look at you now and all the fans you’ve gotten,
I’m afraid my blog is still obscure,
I’m living la Vida downtrodden.
But life is good and I can’t complain,
Wouldn’t help me no how,
Lest to just go insane.
So go on, keep blogging, you’re doing great.
I still love you.
It’s everyone else I hate.
I’m not bitter, really! no on the contrary
I’ve got a fine gal,
Whom soon I will marry.
But as with love and love, and politics and such
I shall count my blessings
Even if they don’t add up to much.
But when life is hard and really can suck,
It doesn’t matter at all,
Cause I just don’t give a further thought to it at all. Nope.
I would type my normal sigh
But that one made me want to cry
It make me mighty glad
That I did not make you mad
Though I do feel a little bad
For making you sad
Hey now, don’t you dare feel gloomy
Not everyone can do that to me.
I was here but now I’m not.
I’ve gone outside to smoke some pot.
I tell you this to prove a point.
Life’s a witch without a joint.
I’m glad you smoked the pot you owned
My blog is better when you’re stoned
Then your blog is awesome today
I’ve laughed my arse off, ya way
don’t know if its the pot or not
but this “couch” strain is all I got
So the only thing I am sure that we know
You are one baked couch potato…
right on the money I’ve wasted hours
blogging here today, I need a shower
I feel dirty, dirty, dirty … boy
couch makes me need a toy
potatoes are way too fat
but cucumbers are simply all that
I can not touch this with a ten foot pole
I will not dig myself in a hole
smart man
who ran
He who fights and runs away
lives to ignite beavers another day
Bob: “Fred, better wed than dead?”
Wed or dead, you know it’s true
Who can tell the difference between the two?
Had to leave you the last word.
Truth told by a little bird?
(hope it’s not a vulture – they really don’t feed on culture)
I think it was an ostrich
I had to smack that little bitch
Dear snow-white dove
I lost BMX sorry love
Would you like me sign
So we may share a glass of wine
Now you have been sucked into our game
And I realize, it’s kind of lame
I must leave work now, it’s time I must dash
I’ve worked 8 hours to supply me with cash
So I bid farewell to this rhyming event
To the pub I go where my cash will be spent
As you drink in the pub tonight
Rhyme with everyone in sight
You might make a new special friend
Or get kicked out, right at the end…
Brilliant! I found myself thinking rhymes in my head as I went home, it was addictive
Like a bad drug…
I think you need to pull out the peach pit
to get control of this crazy bit
no more farts because they stink
and then your followers can’t begin to think…
I am sorry for the smelly gasses
That, for wit, is what now passes
I tried to control the lads and lasses
But they keep talking out their asses
well maybe their asses gases need to pass us by in the washroom
where a fan looms, so that we can rhyme in time with the sublime actions in time a fraction…
Maybe we should use our seats
Those great big piles of rounded meats
That now and then we call our asses
For making something but stinky gasses
but alas’ what can asses be used for aside from stinky gasses? Maybe we should move on to glasses, they are useful and not about asses…
I’ll raise a glass, a cup, or bottle
but this rhyming thing is full of twaddle
well rhyming kinda gives a swaddle when life tries to dish our throddle, so be it funny fun and sunny, i kinda like this jar of honey
It is just a crying shame
sticking together words that sound the same
While still trying to make a point or two
It isn’t at all easy to do
to do to do but do it we do, for we have a clue what what’ and who’s who
And we spew some doo doo too.
back to that peppy le pew…phew
The skunk that stunk
and slept in your bunk
………… you win……..
say wha i win?
I don’t have another rhyme in my head…
maybe you need to go to bed?
ha
bawaha
PMAO lost his muse
Behind the mask of abuse
Yet boldly gives no excuse
For failing to pick cues
Just when I think the fire is out there is another flare up of same soundy words…
Bold cues losing his muse, sounds just like PMOA what do you say?
I say nothing.
..until you let rip one godawful smell.
I hope farts are allowed in your rhyme?
If it’s not the norm, just this one time?
I wouldn’t always be so crude
but I’m certain that you’re no prude.
If you scroll down a little bit
You’ll see words like poop and shit
I am not happy, no not a bit
But I have lost control of it
Was control something you ever had?
It may have stopped you being so bad
naughty, I mean when like when scolded by WordPress
to quote Oliver Hardy, “that’s another fine mess”
I ran out of steam at the end so it doesn’t quite work
so forgive me if I sound like a berk
I did not find it at all bad
You did not sound the Berkshire lad!
LMAO,
I was just about to apologize for my break again, when I thought I’d rather inform you of my new hobby. Just like the master has all sorts of devices in his toolbox just to shamelessly attract blog traffic whilst appearing to do something else, I will also start shamelessly apologizing for not being able to keep up with your works but disappearing soon as I promise to keep up.
On a sincere note, though, internet connectivity is not quite as free as air in some parts of the world. So I experience lots of socio-cyber isolation.
Why am I posting this comment here? Cool, right?! Poor Joehoover may not understand that some of LMAO’s acquaintances dignify insanity.
The best thing about insanity is never having to say you are sorry.
I learn not to question anything I see here
The only way to fly.
Dead? That’s harsh buddy.
I just came in from the garden, and my feet are all muddy.
See? I can’t be threatened into writing!
Surely, you think it’s hilarious. 🙂
I like the way you are defiant
Even while being quite compliant
Good word, Defiant. 🙂
You are not playing our rhyming game
I send you to the hall of shame
This is such a hard game to play!
It is not really such a hard game
You just use words that sound the same
But if you do not wish to play
I guess I don’t care if you want to stay
This game is weird,
But weirder still,
Ignoring the fact
I need my pill
To rhyme like you,
Its quite the skill.
One that even Seuss
Can’t fulfill.
I didn’t know how much work it would be
To rhyme this many times, you see
For every rhyme you send my way
50 other people want to play
To show me up, nonetheless.
I think I’ll let them finish this mess.
I am ready to be done
6 hours ago this was still fun
🙂
It was a pleasure.
You’re quite the treasure.
…thank god it’s over
It is time to move along
It started nice and went so wrong
Been a while old friend
Been held up at my end
Not even a beep could I send
Now here to make many-a-amend…
……………. thanks…………
Until you cheated on me with that guy from Seattle now go to hell.
Not the greatest I know but there you go. It’s what i feel and nothing more, wait don’t wall out that door!
I think that maybe you had a battle
with a guy who was from Seattle
ha ha this one is better!
We cater to all tastes here… there is no doubt about that.