(or); A spider bit me on the f#@&%*ing face…
Yeah. You heard me. A spider bit me. On the face. On my top lip to be exact.
I have been sick, as I might have mentioned. So I have been sleeping on the couch to avoid passing it on to my wife. I got up at about four this morning because my back was aching. I got up to take some Tylenol. When I sat back on the couch I noticed the cup of tea I had made the night before was still sitting there, so I took a sip. I felt something brush my top lip. I thought it was a lint ball. I should mention that it was dark in the living room except for the light of the TV.
Before I had time to do anything, I felt the lint ball wiggling. So I thought it was a moth or a fly. Eeeewwwww… but not the end of the world.
Then I felt the little fangs sink into my top lip.
It didn’t hurt all that bad. I turned on the light, fished the little assassin out of my tea and saved it just in case it turned out to be something poisonous or I had an allergic reaction. As of now, I just have a little red bump in the middle of my top lip. Like I went to the world’s laziest Botox specialist.
So once again you have a chance to learn from my stupid mistakes. Never drink in the dark. Unless it is good, strong booze. Because that kills the spiders.
And I guess it could have been worse. The spider was a baby. But we have these big ugly brown spiders in our house all the time.
And I have found Black Widows in our house more than once.
Pouring My Art Out 
Black widows, contrary to popular belief, won’t kill you. Brown spiders will, if they are brown recluses. I don’t drink anything that’s been sitting anywhere for any length of time, not since a friend of mine confided that he never picked up a can of beer that had been sitting for a while just in case someone had spat in it or put out their cigarette in it. Eeewwwww! Even if I’m the only one in the room, I don’t do it. Maybe I forgot I had spit in it. Or maybe my dog drank out of it. Geez, what if a clown had gotten to it? God only knows what HE would have done, what with all his talk about peens and stuff! Gorp!
I boiled my whole house after he left.
Gross! So glad we don;t have terrible ones here. And Benzeknees – WTF! I am boycotting all spiders, what horrible things.
I watch the nature channel a lot, and I am never living in Australia. Too many things that want to poison you.
I was terrified about going to Oz, I never saw anything but lots of ants though. I think most of them live in the bush, but the huntsmen spiders they do get in houses, they look horrible from googling them, lucky I never saw those. I was on the Gold Coast, I heard funnel webs live further south in people’s gardens.
We went to the Great Barrier Reef but couldn’t swim on the islands nearby due to box jellyfish, they inhabit there from October to May. You can swim if you wear a giant condom with just your face peeking out but when I was there a guy got stung in the face!
And the birds…so colourful but really noisy! You soon go off them. hey – they must have been REALLY drunk birds.
Ha… birds…
I am scared to go somewhere if you run into the water to get away from spiders and snakes and then you get bit by sea snakes and salt water crocodiles.
That would be really bad luck!
Yes it would.
Australia was the top of my list of places I want to visit until I started watching the nature channels as well! It seems like almost everything there wants to bite you to sting you & they’re all poisonous.
And that’s just the people…
Just be thankful it wasn’t a brown recluse spider. Their bite is necrotizing. I had to have a part of my foot cut out because of a bite I got in Cuba. People have had to have fingers, toes, etc. amputated because of their bite.
We have black widows. Not quite as bad, but you wouldn’t want to French kiss one.
This reads like the first chapter of the Spider-Man remake…
I can climb walls now…
There you go. You should do some posts with your head on the Spider-man’s body, just to see how you would look in that costume.
I could just put on my spidey jammies… ummmm… I mean…
You already got spidey jammies? Then the transformation is now complete.
I don’t really. But I do have those cool monkey feety jammies I got for Christmas…
I *HATE* SPIDERS!!!
Are you okay, blueberry head?
I am glad you still care, but sorry I had to get bitten to remind you how much you like me… Ha! Maybe it was a radioactive spider and I will get super powers.
ahhhhh! i’m not going to sleep anymore! i hate spiders. where we lived in BC had one of the most deadly spiders in the world called the fiddle back or brown recluse. i found one in our apt. i stuck a tupperware container over it and waited for Hubby to come home and deal with it. the other most common spider there was the black widow. saw those too…then there was the wolf spiders…hate them, but then i hate all spiders, they terrify me!
We had a rattlesnake in our house once…
yikes! we came across them a lot hiking in the mountains (at time went hunting for them) other times they’d just show up. i should post the video we got of one..lol good thing we had the dog on a leash that day.
i sense another post coming on about the rattle snake in your house..
I did that a long time ago. You know nothing about my past… sob…
lol i knew that..
You say that…
…oh man…this is the stuff nightmares are made of? Did you ice it? Hold still for 3-5 days? I’m just sayin’…I did some research and heard that although you can’t die from it…well…umm…can you take a picture?
No… because my swollen, pouty lips are just too much temptation… everyone will want to kiss me… I can’t handle the pressure…
LOL. Right. I keep forgetting about that.
It isn’t fair to lead people on that way.
So true.
I must use the sexy power only for good.
Like the super heroes do. Right.
Like the cute ones do.
Hmmm… DIY Botox?
I need to find more baby spiders… stat!
You just experienced one of my biggest fears. Oh my word, this post made me want to cry.
Now excuse me while I go find a corner to curl up in. I need to suck my thumb and cry for my mommy.
I am just living the fears so that you all don’t need to… or something. Sorry about that. I will now return to my regular silliness… no more spiders…
But my lips really do look kissable… just sayin’…
I pushed the Like button! I like a good spider story. I read somewhere that the average human eats a certain number of spiders in their lifetime – from sleeping with their mouth open.
Our son moved his bedroom into the basement. It’s a paneled, carpeted, finished room, but he was bit by spiders quite a few times. A couple of them were really nasty and took weeks to heal. Maybe being a baby, your spider didn’t have much poison, and it will heal quickly.
When I was a teen, I had daddy long legs over my bed. I used to name them. They are harmless and a like the way they look. But they did have one annoying trait. When they finished sucking the juices out of their wrapped-up prey, they cut it loose from their web and dropped it. And I was below them. And I guess somethimes I sleep on my back with my mouth open to help with the snoring…
LOL!! You probably skewed the national average for eating insects.
It is actually becoming quite common. And with the way the world is going, we will soon all be eating more bugs than beef or chicken.
Oh yeah, with Black widows the party will definitely be at Balboa Park.
They aren’t just running around inside the house all the time. I have found two inside in more than 13 years. Outside, that’s another story.
Oh good, I won’t be safe anywhere.
Wow… never ever visit Australia…
Once I’m around them I’m okay. I lived in SE Asia when I was young and they didn’t bother me much. I saw some HUGE spider webs, the size of hammocks.
You can get used to almost anything.
So, one time I was staying with a couple who were friends of mine. In the hippie since of the word they were, that is. Anyway, at that time I was into drinking Dr Pepper (i go in phases, but at that time DR pepper had this contest where like 1 in 4 and then it was 1 in 12 lids was a free dr pepper. I hit a good streak one time and didn’t pay for DP for over 2 weeks. And I drank it a lot.) so I had my 20 oz bottle there with me. I was lying on the counch, it was late at night, and the TV was also a glow from my vegging out and trying to fall asleep.
So, I get thirsty, getting ready to fall asleep, reach down and grab my 20 oz D.P. and take a big swig.
Well, the man who stayed there ALSO happened to drink 20 oz Dr Peppers.
He also chewed tobacco.
And when he chewed tobacco he would spit into his empty 20 oz D.P. bottles and leave them lying around.
I’m still traumatized.
oh man…
I came home once and my wife was cooking chicken for dinner. On the counter was an opened can of cling peaches in heavy syrup. The peaches were in a bowl. But I love that syrup, so I took a big old swig. It was hot and tasted wrong. I was ready for sweet and cool. What I got was the chicken fat my wife had drained into the can. I burnt my lip and my tongue.
But I do like me some Dr. Pepper.
Anything so opposite like that, Cool and sweet to fatty warm, possibly chunky, and savory needs to be immediately labeled. She could have been put in stocks for that in some countries.
yeah… chicken stocks… oh man… I kill me… get it???
OH that’s funny. Reminds me last night my step son (Future step son?) was playing Fruit Ninja on my phone as we went to the movies. He all of a sudden said, “I’m slicing up a new fruit record. Get it.”
In my head I’m like, yes, and we will get along just fine.
Male bonding at its ninja best.