Tag Archives: current-events

The day that Europe kicked my ass… part 4…

Well, that is enough of standing on the doorstep of Notre Dame… let’s go in and have a look around, shall we… wait… are you staring at my uneven nostrils again? Cheeky monkey! Now that is an impressive use of overhead space. … Continue reading

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Just a thought…

I think we should build apartments buildings next to bakeries… and then run air ducts from the bakery to all the rooms… so your room would always smell like fresh-baked bread.

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The day that Europe kicked my ass… part 3… (or); The 1,500 year-long contest to see who could build the fanciest church…

After our epic adventure on the Eiffel Tower, we strolled over to see this place… You might recognize it… it is a church that is famous both for its architectural beauty and its equal-opportunity, nondiscriminatory bell-ringer hiring practices. The countries of … Continue reading

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A cesspool with teeth… AKA Donald Trump’s mouth…

What happens when you fill a large, empty cavity with nothing but excrement, is a buildup of toxic gases thinly disguised as thought. It might actually be a good thing that he vents this buildup, because if it did ever … Continue reading

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Goodbye, Versailles… and a final word on living like a French king…

I hope you have enjoyed my three-part series on how you too can live like a French king. If you follow my simple guidelines, you will soon be alienating poor people and making the rest of the fabulously wealthy feel … Continue reading

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Versailles… part 3… Even more lifestyles of the rich and French…

When I did the first part of my now justifiably famous ‘lifestyles of the rich and French’, in which I gave you useful tips on how to live like a French king, I focused on how to build and decorate … Continue reading

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Versailles… part 2… Lifestyles of the rich and French…

If you want to live like a French king, there are certain standards that you have to meet, and certain steps that you must take… Step 1. Commission a famous artist to make a statue of you dressed as an … Continue reading

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Versailles… part 1… (or); There is a reason it it pronounced ‘ver-sigh’…

Our second day in Paris and my wife, daughter and I took a day trip to Versailles… another stop on Mollie’s well-thought-out dream list. I had never been to Versailles before… wait… wow… my nostrils are really uneven, aren’t they? … Continue reading

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Rollin’ on the river… (5 bonus points if you sang that in a really low voice)…

Remember, kids, whenever you can get on a boat, get on a boat… especially when you are on vacation. It will put that smug smile on your face. We finished off our first day in Paris by taking a cruise … Continue reading

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Will I ever stop messing with that Eric Idle guy?

Probably not… but you know, some days you eat the python… …and some days the python eats you…

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