Do not lay face down and do a one-handed push up on a jet ski. I don’t care how manly it makes you look.

Don’t put you face on the handlebars. If you hit a wave, you will knock your own teeth out. Also, it makes you look like you are kissing a machine, which is just weird.

Okay, maybe it doesn’t even make you look that cool to lay down on the seat anyway.

Don’t pull your legs up onto the seat…

Not even if you are going to do this…

Only a true master should ever meditate on a jet ski.

Never try to look like you are going faster than you really are. That is just lame.

And do not get to comfortable and cocky. That is asking for trouble. I don’t care how adorable you look doing it.

It is okay to stretch your legs…

Because you will get carried away and do something silly.

And you will end up looking like a dying cockroach and maybe slam into a boat.

And one again, this does not really make you look all that cool.

It is acceptable to pretend you are an explorer scanning the horizon, as long as you are careful.

It is okay to look supremely happy.

And it is okay to look awesomely cool and handsome while zooming around jumping over boat wakes and acting like a maniac.