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Pouring My Art Out by Arthur H. Browne is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.Based on a work at https://pouringmyartout.wordpress.com/.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
Pouring My Art Out 
Here’s one question! What is wrong with humans? I just learned (national geographic) that some Canadian has come up with a wonderful plan to save the caribou. Fit a captured wold with a tracking collar, release him and follow him back to the pack where you can kill them all from the safety of a helicopter! Um, I’m pretty sure wolves are endangered. How is this an acceptable response? How about protecting their environment?
No offense to any of my dear Canadian friends, clearly they are not personally responsible any more than I am for the whack decisions the good ole USA makes. It really is more of a human question than a political or geographical one
People really hate wolves.
Where. Is. Everyone????????
That is the question.
Here! 🖐🏻! So excited to see Trent AND X! Eeeeeeeeeeeee!
Julie! Julie Julie Julie!
…ooo000ooo… I will leave you three alone… sigh…
Oh yeah!
Dude dude dude… I should do this post as a podcast, reading comment threads!!!!!!!!!
I’ve been sucked into this amazing rabbit hole…
Keep the dream alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Make random comments to anyone who catches your eye. Go crazy!
you just said what I was thinking
Don’t worry, I do that to everybody.
you just did it again
I know.
made me laugh
We might turn this into a book… but editing it is going to be difficult.
I like this book. editing will ruin it and I hate editing
So I should just copy and paste it, and let people sort it out themselves.
it’s a strange, wonderful place, Poet. All manner of people show up here – so happy to see you. the proprietor is a guy named Art, and he is quite a prodigious fellow. Art, the Poet is one of the finest writers I’ve seen. Spins magic.
Three writers walk into a bar…
Ouch?
Moo!
Have you become a cow? I always pictured you with spots on your behind.
I have one big spot… right in the middle of my behind… and it can stretch to a remarkable degree.
I’m not sure I know what to say, but I’m strangely weirdly intrigued.
As well you should be.
wait… he is one of the finest writers… and I am ‘prodigious’???
Poet is a she! And quite a writer she is. Check her out. And yes you are prodigious in all the right ways.
I am just a word slut…
i’m just a slut…
sapiosexuality is a fascinating well to wallow in….it keeps me committed to my ironic celibacy…..also spurs my other commitment to deliberately put words that don’t belong together into sensual sentences and not use punctuation
ps: I just created a mouth watering apple crumble
wait… what is this ‘punctuation’ of which you speak… do you mean the three little dots I constantly add for no apparent reason at all…
ps: fuck spelling too!
exactly! my daughter said
… adds suspense
I like suspense…
Then I should probably tell you…
what!!!!!!!! ??????? oh no….
oh yes…
Also, I now forgive Trent for his one-sided viewpoint… he is a lover of sensual sentences. Also of nude moose wrestling, calling bacon the wrong name, and seducing himself shamelessly on this comment post.
he seduces himself shamelessly?
I like him even more now
I mean, yeah, shamelessly… not with the the gut-wrenching sexuality and non-ironic romantically expressive mood that I managed to achieve, but sure, who doesn’t like Trent?
I don’t know … I pick up SOMETHING along the lines of ‘gut wrenching’
I don’t know those people who don’t like Trent
When I first saw his strange attempt at self-seduction on the comment post, my guts were severely wrenched, as the contents of my stomach sought to immediately abandon the area of my pelvis. I also wrenched my back, trying to swivel my chair around before the words were indelibly seared into my brain.
I need an example of what you are speaking of. I just feel seduced, I am not sure exactly what by
I think we both left glaring examples of self-love/loathing on the comment post, but I leave it to you to track them down… and compare them, if you must. If you are feeling energetic, you might type a few comments to random people in there to see if we can revive the weekend binge parties we used to have in there. I wouldn’t mind getting to 1,000,000,000 comments. Or you could begin the arduous task of figuring out how we can edit the strands into one coherent book. That is the other plan.
oh my god
I do have a life
well .. I could leave a random comment …after I eat my toasted cheese sandwich
I freekin’ love toasted cheese sandwiches. Also, that was more or less of a joke, but if I could trick someone into even having an idea of where to start an editing process for that swamp, that would be cool. Also, I do not suggest that you visit the comment post for my own benefit. Everyone should go there. You can vent, you can rant and rave, make friends, make points, make mischief, make waves, make someone’s day, make declarations and proclamations, make a fuss, make a scene, make a fool of yourself… or someone else, make suggestions, make mountains out of molehills, make this a better world, make up your mind, make a commitment, make a decision, and even make a place for yourself in history. Hell, you can even make a grilled cheese sandwich. As far as I know, nobody has shared recipes in here, so make my day and make a meal!
Oh, I am going to copy and paste that into a post to lure more people in here.
I was going to say, make yourself a whole new post!
A toast post??? Also, you have moved me… I have had a movement! I am moved to write a poem later today, free-form, flowing from the inner most reaches of my shallowness!
wait… sapiosexuality… that is all humanity, right? Or all intelligent life forms? Aliens? I am intrigued and confused. I might just have to come and visit you.
What is Sapiosexuality? According to Merriam-Webster, sapiosexual literally means, “sexually attracted to highly intelligent people.” Unlike other people who may simply like smart guys or girls, a sapiosexual may find intelligence sexually arousing
in my case, specifically words, the way they are used and played with and pushed to their limits
Trent is a word king
my word king
Trent sprays his words with the consummate professionalism, startling sensuality, and unerring aim usually seen only in the money shots of high-budget porn films.
oh my god you adore him as much as I do, but we are not in competition for his attention …are we?
He helped me by editing one of my novels. If that isn’t some sort of love relationship, I don’t know what is. Although twice he has been within 100 miles of me, and managed to slither away without meeting me in person.
fear of intimacy? often found in writers/poets and the like… well anyone who gets more pleasure out of words than the mouths that speak them
Oh, I have met some pretty nice mouths in my time. I just don’t know what to do with them if no good words ever come out of them. I can’t do the obvious thing, because I can’t rise to the occasion for a one-way mouth.
one way mouth ~ good title
Good name for a punk/ska/bagpipe band!
Also, I do not fear intimacy. I just have lofty standards before subjecting myself or anyone else to it. Also, people sort of scare me, which is not the same thing at all.
no not at all
I understand
people can be scary
It is almost like they try to be.
haha imagine that , it is all big Truman show and people are being scary on purpose in all sorts of psychotically nuanced ways
Or they are too self-absorbed to know how scary they are, which is scary in its own way.
you said that beautifully by the way
Thank you, milady!
Family blog!
How do you think I started a family-friendly blog.
Um… no comment.
yup
Wait, I have a comment. A recipe actually. Green eggs and ham. You merely blend eggs with spinach and then put them in a pan. They become very Seussian. The ham? Haven’t figured that out yet.
I should repost my letter from Shakespeare to Sam I Am again….
Do it!
ok
I just posted a comment and I don’t see it. It’s the world’s first stealth comment!
I am a sneaky bastard.
Oh, it is visible. A very unstealthlike stealth comment, I must say.
The order appears to be random.
A new – random – world order?
I like the sound of that.
I don’t, I guess. Not until I get to number the new world order.
My new world order should ship next Tuesday.
I guess you should already have it by now.
It has to pass through a lot of states…
State of anger, state of confusion, state of shock…
state of disrepair, consciousness, the union, your claim, your intentions, your name, and Alabama.
That’s a very long trip. I would not be surprised if your new world order gets stolen on the way, probably in Alabama
Right off my front porch. What a state the world is in.
And, uh, if you say so.
Or did I say so?
You said you’re a sneaky bastard… You mean it wasn’t actually you who said it? Oh you’re a sneaky bastard!
I can neither confirm nor deny that I said I was… or wasn’t a sneaky bastard
Who, but a sneaky bastard, would be so vague about being or not being a sneaky bastard?
Who indeed, if, indeed, that bastard was indeed sneaky.
Or that sneaky was indeed a bastard
Oh, we all knew that… or is he?
We may never know. He could be a mysterious bastard.
yeah he is
So not that mysterious then
or is it?
Now we’re talking
yeah we are
But about what?
That is above my pay grade.
For which of your jobs, though?
The one I can’t tell you about.
Or you will have to kill me? But then who would add the comments herem
I would never kill you, but I did think you said: comment harem… which we really need.
I don’t remember saying anything about “comment harem”, but now I am really fascinated. Can you please elaborate?
You had a typo, that wasn’t quite that, but almost.
Is comment harem even legal in this country?
Only if you are a Mormon Satrap.
Is Mormon Satrap someone who keeps a harem of other Mormons?
I don’t think they are that specific.
Leave it to X to invent new technology. Hey can we get a top ten list of why my ass hurts? I mean, theoretically speaking.
Theoretically, I could write a list, but practically, you need to consult a practologist
I was afraid you might say that. So much for the healing power of words.
Use the healing power of turds
Words don’t heal. If they did, politicians would be the healthiest people in the world.
I think it has to be good, true words.
The best words, most tremendous words ever!
sigh
a cracktologist
Since a proctologist does study the butt crack area, this name is also very appropriate.
That is what I figured… also, funny.
Not quite as funny for the patient
Unless it is Trent
He’s probably not that patient.
He is patient zero
With zero patience
So it has been said.
And done?
I didn’t do it.
That’s exactly what a sneaky bastard would say.
Or would he?
He definitely would, he would just be very sneaky about it
Or just be not sneaky, which is even sneakier than being sneaky.
There’s no limit to sneakiness
I intend to find out if there is.
There’s not. After you think you’ve reached the maximum sneakiness, someone goes and does some more sneaky stuff.
But can that someone be me???
You never know. That’s the sneakiest part
So far.
Also, he is practicing to be his own proctologist
You have to have a very flexible schedule and everything for that.
And some slightly-used equipment.
Barely even opened, just a crack.
He also has cracked lips.
And likes to crack wise.
He’s not refusing to Trent. Kinda like R Kelly and his court appearances, he hasn’t “refused “ to attend, he just doesn’t!
ha
Refusing to do things is extra work.
uh…?
I’m just running up the comment count here
1. Overuse
Hey… Is this thing on?
It is now! We are getting the band back together.
Band is not enough, you need a whole stadium for this.
I wish
Ok, then a club but with a full participation by everyone.
I do like full participation!
And those who do not participate will get clubbed
well… yeah
Art, I gotta ask – have you lost it? That crazy appeal has worn off? Where is everyone? Your link totally worked but only Matticus has shown up. We all love Matticus but we need volume yo.
I don’t know about you or Matticus, but I do have the volume.
sweeeeeet
Well, I would like to lose some of the volume.
Turn it up to 11!!!
11 cubic feet? I don’t have nearly as much volume.
How about in cubits?
Is there a cubic cubit?
there must be
What about a cubic cubit cubed?
cubit zirconium
That sounds expensive
And they only come in one size.
I don’t even remember what we’re talking about here
I think we started off with me being sneaky and segued into plays on words… maybe.
Oh, you know, the usual stuff.
Because we do not do the usual stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So we don’t do the usual stuff usually?
No, we usually do the unusual stuff, which makes it the usual unusual stuff, so it is really the usual stuff… unusually.
Makes total senseless sense.
There is no sense in wasting time trying to make sense, I always say!
But a comment is a comment is a comment, right?
I can’t comment on that.
You already did.
Or did I?
Or did you not do?
I did not not do, but I did perhaps not do the not doing, which means I may indeed have done the doing by not doing the not doing.
Oh, you did indeed did the deed, didn’t you?
The deed was done, and filed beside the deed to my house and my list of good deeds that I hope to get around to one day, if indeed the deeds are needed by those in need of a deed. But greed might succeed in causing the seed of the good deed to go unheeded and unseeded, because those who are treated to be good-deeded get stampeded and then retreated.
X! Bring the volume baby! But not that gross kind of volume. The other stuff. You know, minions. Got any of those?
You mean like Voluminions?
That is a lovely word. I’m proud to think of myself as a Voluminion. God knows I don’t bring quality or substance to the table… but volume? I got that covered.
I think you brought a substance to the table at least once.
And weren’t you also the Head Minion at some point?
In abstentia… wait… how do you spell that?
In ostentia?
maybe… it is when you try someone who isn’t there… kind of like Trent did.
That sounds very unconstitutional
he has a poor constitution
It’s a Canadian one, and obviously every red-blooded American knows that Canadian Constitution is eh.
And Canadian geese have the nastiest crap of any animal on the planet.
Bullshit! What about bullshit!?
What about mooseshit?
I think you’re supposed to say, “aboot mooseshit” in Canadian
It is not international speak and act like a Canadadadian day!!!
When is the international speak and act like a Canadian day? Are Canadians too polite to tell us when to celebrate?
They forget because they get to act and speak like Canadians all year long!
And don’t want to impose their Canadianness on the others?
They are much to polite.
Too polite for their own good. We should invade them
Would serve them right.
I forgot about that… to be honest, the pay was a little on the bad side, and the esteemed leader had some very odd requests.
Even if your pay was low, you might have made a ton of money since then. Check you Secret Underground Volcano Lair Credit Union account.
shhhhh… I didn’t tell him about that, or he would go wild spending it on syrup and moose rides.
Which would be a bad idea. You don’t to find yourself glued to a moose with maple syrup during the moose mating season.
or do you
I like my maple syrup moose-free
I like my moose syrup-free.
Do you like your moose well-done, medium, or rare?
I like a rare moose… like an albino or a pygmy.
I am moose-tolerant. I like mooses of all colors and sizes
I was moose intolerant, but I buy the special lactose free moose, and I can eat as much as I want.
Not me, I think lactose is the best part of a moose.
I am sure they love that about you.
I feel like that’s an unrequited feeling, possibly on both sides.
That is the saddest kind of love.
very odd requests… in that I had to keep telling him his requests were denied.
voluminous voluptuous voluminions!
All completely voluntary
That speaks volumes.
But sounds flat
But it is really sharp.
…ooo000ooo…
I am telling you, wordpress is dying.
It’s been dying for a long time. I wonder what their stats tell them. Anyway the blog honeymoon is over. Now it’s beer at the kitchen table and endless awkward fumblings under a moldy comforter, in the hopes of staying relevant when the morning breaks like a cold diseased fart.
I might start a podcast…
I’d check it out.
yay
Also, what can I do when I post about it, and I get a bunch of likes but no visitors???
They’re called bots, my man. The bots will prevail. When we’re all gone, they will be fornicating on the decrepit ruins of our tired, debilitated bodies, ending in a bot-orgy that will involve much cranking and crunching. Also, some light kink.
I like the sound they make when they bang together… ha… oh man… I kill me…
The bot’ll take care of that for you.
I want nanobots inside me
I hereby declare that the Comment post is reopened for business. Please post craziness in order to keep myself, Trent Lewin, amused. Also, prepare your best barbs for the creator of this strange and wonderful blog post. He is always watching us. Always.
Oh hi. I’m new here. You sound like a good chap, Trent. Nice to meet you!
Well hi – yes, I am a very nice chap. Also quite handsome and manly. Slide over, my friend. Put your bosom next to mine and let’s see what happens.
Oh my! I’m blushing! I’m a little shy, Trent. Can we take things a little slow?
Pucker up, baby.
Oh my heart! You’re such a good kisser! But please, it’s a little early in our relationship to be fondled like this!
So you say…. but I can’t help but notice that you’ve just removed all your clothes.
He arrived that way
Put that thang away! There are minions amoungst us! Oh wait. We be the minions… never mind. Carry on.
Yes we are minions. Art, come visit!
Only the best minions for me!
I suppose this is how new minions are made… eeeew
There you are, ladies and jellyfish, the only human on the planet that plays hard-to-get with himself. Sometimes, it takes him three weeks, a box of chocolates, 4 dates and a dozen roses just to get to first base… with himself.
But then he totally puts out. He’s such a floozy! Hey, no I’m not! Yes you are! No way man!
You are… he is… he does… and so does he!
Shhhhh… stuff is happening in here. Do not disturb.
Put a sock on the door handle… or just lock it!
I am not going near your socks. Or your door handles.
What about my love handles???
That’s a different matter…
Mind over matter, will make the Pooh unfatter
And he means pucker every part of your body that can possibly be puckered…
Trent don’t do slow.
Don’t put your bosoms anywhere near each other’s… this is a family blog!
I may have to do a post reminding people this is here.
S’about time.
Well, it has been pretty dead in here. since you left.
I didn’t go no where. Whatcha talking about? I return occasionally and I think I once calculated that about three thousand of the comments in here are from me! Cause I rock!
I am not guilting, just observating.
Hey I got stuff to write ya know. I just finished a novel. I have no idea if it’s any good but between a hefty full time job, a large number of kids, and a total addiction to beer nuts, I only have so much time. I know you know what I mean by that. It’s easy to let the time slip and not do what you want to. Easy to get distracted with fun things. But shit is getting serious now yo.
I am working on two new novels, and my head wants to pop
Yeah well you rattle them out, I can’t. I get two hours a week to write, max, and I have to make every minute count.
I have less free time than you think
Yah yah but I’ve done a line-by-line edit for a book of yours and left about ten million comments on this site… I dun my part, man. I dun my part.
I know, and that is why I lust after you constantly.
Lust after me in person ! I’m in Carlsbad right now on the way back to Irvine. Gorgeous place you got here.
That is right near Legoland! How long are you here??? I have tonight and tomorrow off.
I’m leaving Thursday morning. I’m in Irvine right now, at the hotel not far from the Spectrum. You’re more than welcome to join for a drink. I’m just having a sip with a work colleague right now.
Oh, Irvine is a little farther… let me see what the wife says. will you have free time?
It would be late before I could get up there tonight, but what about tomorrow? I emailed you.
I am willing to drive for a few hours to have a drink with you. Check your emails!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That guy is a perv… and a sick genius.
You haven’t begun to see the sick.
I have gotten a start.
Gross.
shhh… I’m busy
Did you have a convo with yourself?
That’s amazing.
And wonderful.
And very Trenty of you.
I don’t know why this didn’t show up in Trent’s thread. My phone is goofing up.
Alas.
Alas, poor Yorik
Did you know him? Is your name Hamlet? Wait… Am I Horatio?
Horatio Hornblower?
Hornblower cruises?
He sure does!
That’s cool. I mean since the water is cool…
It ought to be.
He invented the shameless self-seduction!
He’s good at things like that… And writing… Which is basically the same thing.
That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard on this comment thread. And that includes the delicate, often-misunderstood art of self-seduction.
I am a jester after all. Or I used to be. Or what were we talking about?
It’s so hard to tell what you’re talking about in here… everything gets muddled. But beware! A certain overlord is always watching. His gaze is as steely as the crust that has developed in his underwear from being stationary so long.
Art? Nah. He’s too busy pissing off spiders by spraying water at their webs.
Um, I don’t think that’s water that he’s spraying….
You’re probably right. He says it’s water but … We can’t really know. And likely don’t want to.
Can I go ‘wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’ now?
Absolutely!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Are you spraying again? Why’s it make that noise? Do you have an extra hole or something?
I have 6 extra holes… you humans are so limited.
And directly on them too, so…
Poor spiders!!!
Don’t let ’em fool you.
They are very very sneaky, it’s true.
yup
I’m being stalked by spiders this summer. I had an orb Weaver on me earlier this week.
I walked into a few of the big ones.
That is my skin!
Which part?
the best part. the outside part. the moist part.
jesticulating?
there is no misunderstanding at all… or Mr. understanding.
I don’t get it. I really don’t.
That is why we adore you… stay innocent, and simple!