A crack-squirrel-fueled open letter to racists and homophobes… and other small-minded thinkers…

(First off, just let me say that I am shocked that my spell checker put a red line under ‘homophobes’… dang it, it did it again… it is too a real word. Also, a big shout out to the crack squirrels that live in my head, for letting me… no… compelling me… to sit in front of the keyboard and type whatever they tell me to type. I trust them, and so should you. Would a cranial crack squirrel lie about anything important???)

So, it came to me, whilst I was soaping myself down in the shower, as so many of my best ideas do, that racists and homophobes haven’t really thought through their bigotry and narrow-mindedness sufficiently… (I’m not saying this surprises me, you understand)… The hating and feeling superior part is the easy part of their problem… at least for them… it is the solutions to their (not real) problems that they are in short supply of.

See, the thing is… (you can always be sure a thing will show up when the crack squirrels are in charge)… that, while they are good at feeling self-righteous and assuming they are better than gay people or people with skin of a different shade than their own, they aren’t really that good at coming up with reasonable solutions to their indignation. As an example, take Southern white supremacist KKK members who bemoan the fact that there are so many African Americans. Hey, guess what would have kept that from happening! Having your own short-sighted ancestors not ship thousands of slaves here to do their chores for them. That might have done it.

Well, here is a way out of your dilemma, brought to you by a guy who figured it all out while washing his size-fifteen feet. Let gay people and people of other races have all their rights. Give them the same freedoms, responsibilities, benefits, options, opportunities, respect and pay as you have always had.

If you do that, I guarantee that you won’t hear from them nearly as much. They won’t be out protesting for more rights. They will have them. They won’t be demanding better treatment. It will be theirs. And they will all be too busy doing normal, everyday life-type stuff to have any free time to annoy you.

Then you can get back to just hating them inside your own tiny brains… or, if Trump wins, you can hate them out loud and proud… and nobody will care… because most of us will be too busy moving to Canada or New Zealand.

About pouringmyartout

You will laugh at my antics... That is my solemn promise to you... Or your money back... Stop on by...
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72 Responses to A crack-squirrel-fueled open letter to racists and homophobes… and other small-minded thinkers…

  1. Trent Lewin says:

    Racists have small penises. It’s scientifically true.

  2. You can come move here and live with us!

  3. Archon's Den says:

    I’ll agree to small-minded, but you’ll have to provide some kind of proof that they’re thinking. 😕

  4. List of X says:

    If you ask the the homophobes, gays have way too many rights already.

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