What I want to know is:
Were they organically grown peppers, with no genetic modifications, and were they picked under the proper conditions… I mean, was Peter Piper exploited in any way? Did he earn a living wage? Did he get health care coverage? Did they provide the legally required breaks? Did he have access to drinking water? Was there a place for him to get some healthy food and time for him to eat it? Were the peppers grown on one of those huge agro-business farms that are destroying the world, or was it one of those nice little mom and pop farms? And where the hell were these peppers pickled at? Was it done under sanitary conditions? Were the factory workers treated well? I mean, come on, peppers don’t come pre-pickled… Peter wasn’t really picking pickled peppers… that would be impossible… and as long as we are on the subject, what the hell is a ‘peck’ of pickled peppers? How many pickled peppers are in a peck… and I don’t really know how much wood is in a ‘cord’ of wood either… you know, in case I feel like doing a post about that stupid wood-chucking woodchuck one of these days.
**************************
I think this post was sort of inspired by a post done on: http://gibberjabberin.wordpress.com/ but I don’t remember all the details… because I have crack squirrels in my head. I was going to do this post trying to use as many of the letter ‘P’ as possible… what is that called, alliteration?… but then I realized that this subject is much too serious to be made fun of in such a cheap fashion.
And all of this leads me to this:
A crack squirrel attacked a sack of crack
If a crack squirrel attacked a sack of crack
Then how much crack was in the sack that the crack squirrel attacked?
……………………
I suppose I might also have gone with:
How much crack in a sack would a crack squirrel attack if a crack squirrel could attack a sack of crack?
Pouring My Art Out 
You know, the least you could have done was warn people not to eat while reading this post. I nearly choked on my PB&J from laughing, especially the tongue twisters. I knew the squirrels in my yard seem like they’re on crack, but now I know to keep them away from my cats because the last thing Slater needs is something to make him even more hyper and “attacking the walls”-ish.
🙂
oooh… yeah… do not let your cat attack the crack squirrels… it never ends well… for the cat… and even if a cat did win, as you point out, they would just end up addicted to crack squirrel.
Try reading that title and your last sentence 7 times out loud …… 😀
HA!
The question begs answering… Maybe a crack squirrel kids book is in the offing?
No… but I am going to do my comic about the little wizard named Gad… a thinly veiled making fun of organized religion… for kids…
I think that’s both timely and funny.
what could go wrong?
Um… nothing?
exactly
YOU DID A LINK. I am so proud of you.
I said I know how to do links, just not a whole bunch of them at one time.
I worked for a discount retail chain in transportation and they sniffed out local products like pickles and horseradish and such whenever possible. It gave them better prices and there were some spectacular quality products there. To address your concerns about working conditions for pickled pepper private production places – the ones they bought from were exemplary – family owned businesses that were scrupulous in cleanliness and product quality and such, with excellent worker benefits. It turns out that when you don’t have a million shareholdes to keep rich you can make a better product cheaper. Ha! I remember I dispatched a driver to one farm which produced a superb horseradish – they had never seen a truck that big before and the driver didn’t have roon to make the trun nto the yard. The farmers came out with chain saws and cut down the fence and then used a front end loader to fill in the ditch so the truck could get into the yard. The driver told me afterwards, that the plant floor was so clean you could eat off it.
All that to say that local crack is better. And always keep your chainsaw handy.
I am now taking it as a personal challenge to try to come up with blog post ideas that do not remind you of something you hauled somewhere…
May the force be with you. I’ll give you a heads up – I haven’t hauled live animals (well sort of – I did haul some bees once but that’s another story) or raw logs. Most everything else from escalators to nuclear material to cow hides to grass (the front yard kind) have been in my trailer. I once hauled some explosive oilfield charges that had to be handled very softly. There were only a few cases, so i put them in the bunk and slept on them for two nights in transit. I’ve also had the bunk full of cases of cheese doodles too – when there wasn’t quite enough room in the trailer. Oh yeah,then there was the small submarine I hauled and the helicopter and on and on…
Bets of luck, I’ll be eagerly awaiting.
hmmmmmmmmmmm
(1) Peter Piper did not receive any benefits of minimum wage, safety standards, or anything else because they didn’t have any at the time of the picking of said pickled peppers.
(2) There was exactly 15 pounds of crack in the sack that the crack squirrels attacked.
(3) Crack is whack because you can’t get a receipt for that.
wow… seriously… we belong together… what the heck did you do before you found me???
Crack is whack.
You don’t know Jack about how whack crack is, Jack, until you attack a sack… don’t hold back… there is no lack of crack sack too attack… to feed the monkey on your back like a big knapsack… you have the knack… don’t be a hack… just try to keep track… white or black… okay… that’s enough… I can’t bring myself to do a Doctor Seuss poem about crack.
You will find all the answers to these questions here —>http://gibberjabberin.wordpress.com/2014/11/06/pickles-and-peppers/
right
So you work for OSHA?
We all should… but did you like the crack squirrel tongue twisters… I was so proud of them.
Yeah. It really cracked me up.
yay