Here are some more of my clever little tweets, just in case you aren’t following me on Twitter. No sense wasting them…

***WARNING*** I try to keep the blog family friendly, but some tweets might contain adult words or stuff kids shouldn’t have to think about yet***

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*If tweeting was easy, they would let anybody do it… oh… wait…

*You can lead an idiot to water… but you can’t make him think…

*Nobody else gets to decide how good you are…

*Never finish your bucket list… after that, all that’s left is a bucket… and kicking it…

*To be or not to be… is that even a question???

*Nothing explains everything…

*If you are too stupid to use birth control, please use birth control…

*Loggers cut trees which we make into paper and then money, which we pay them to cut trees… is that a conflict of interest?

*There are two kinds of dirt, light dirt that sticks to dark things, and dark dirt that sticks to light things.

*Make it so so… as Picard almost said…

*The lion, the witch and the wardrobe malfunction… why is that not a porno movie yet?

*I put your pants on one leg at a time… you know… when you aren’t at home…

*Try to be nice to some asshole today… maybe the shock will kill him…

*Climate change is a real thing… but if you want to wait until your house burns down or washes away, that’s up to you.

*Maybe we could put all the politicians on a big island and just do a ‘Lord of the Flies’ thing…

*Sometimes you feel like a nut… and sometimes it feels like life is kicking you in the nuts.

*I would hate for you to be the last person on earth to follow my blog, because, you know, embarrassing…

*You can’t clean up glitter… it is the herpes of arts and crafts supplies…

*Doing laundry… called the colors ‘coloreds’ and the darks ‘blacks’ but got the whites right… am I a racist?

*I have total recall… sort of like GM…