Am I the only person on WordPress that hasn’t suffered some horrible trauma, or been ravaged by some debilitating health issue? I have been doing this silly little comedy blog for a couple of years now, and I have met the most awesome people I could ever have imagined. Oh, I have met the occasional person who hasn’t been beat up by life, but most of them are still very young. The vast majority of the people who stumble into my cyber life come bearing scars of abuse, neglect and cruelty, wounded in ways that only human beings seem to be capable of wounding each other, their souls tattered by strangers or, even more horrible, the people that were supposed to love and care for them.
But not all the scars are the invisible kinds. I have met so many friends that are battling serious diseases of the body. Not only fighting against pain, but against the difficulties of day to day life brought about by physical impairments. And then there are the illnesses of the mind… depression and substance abuse and so on, and the stigmas that the world places on those.
I feel altogether lucky that my life has been so easy a journey compared to most of yours. But I also feel humbled. Yes, I tend to be a little manic-depressive. But it isn’t anything I can’t get past. Yes, I had substance abuse issues, but I beat them. No one has ever touched me against my will. My body and mind are in pretty good shape considering how old I am and how I treated them for years.
So why am I so lazy and self-centered? What have I done to pay the world back for all it has given me?
I think there are basically two types of people in this world. People who learn positive lessons from the bad things that happen to them, and people who don’t. A child who is abused will either decide that they will never hurt anyone else as they were hurt… or they will come to the conclusion that if people did it to them, they can do it to other people. I am proud and honored and humbled that I have met so many people here that have taken the bad that life has thrown at them and turned it around, reaching out to other people to lessen their pain.
I wish I could come to each of you and hold you and cry with you… or better yet, laugh with you. Because as shallow and egotistical as I am, I have real empathy. I feel the pain in others. And maybe the way I cope with that is to just try to be silly. Because I can’t solve the world’s problems, I can’t fix broken hearts and souls and bodies. I can’t take your pain inside myself and make it mine so that you do not have to bear that burden any longer.
But I really do wish I could.
Pouring My Art Out 
Just knowing you would lend me a shoulder if I needed one is enough Art!
yay
Being good natured and fooling around cheers people up. The fact that you empathise with others going through trauma shows you dont take anything for granted. Nice to read this.
Thank you.I guess that makes me a little less self-absorbed than some people.
Great thoughts here AB.
I am too like you, only negative things I caused myself years ago and learnt from them, and consider myself very lucky when I read about the hand life has dealt others.
This is truly the point of WordPress, even if few people follow your blog the act of putting it down is a release and those who find the supportive community here I hope helps immensely.
There are the people pouring their heart out, and their art out 😉 people listening, and people featuring Joan Collins as an old lady talking about her past conquests. It’s a fabulous melting pot. It’s the sum of it’s parts and everyone contributes to make it a wonderful place to learn we all matter.
I do often suggest to people who have blogs where they constantly talk about bad experiences that they sometimes take a break. You can vent too much. There comes a point where opening up an old wound keeps it from healing.
Good point again.
Dr Browne will see you now.
I will see you… all of you… including the inside…
What kind of therapist are you!?
This is quite out of the ordinary
It is, but it shouldn’t be.
I wanted to reply to your last comment, but I couldn’t.
I’m glad to know that there are people like you, people who’ve had a good life. That’s what I’m trying to give my kids. Maybe someday they’ll look back and think, “You know, I had a good childhood.” That’s my definition of success.
well said.
You are a very good person. Count your blessings. Share them where you can.
I will try to do that…
Don’t feel guilty, be happy. Thankful for who you are. We all have some rough stuff, but one of the best (and worst 😉 ) things you’ve done for me is read my blog, comment, tell me the truth, let me vent and be silly, and cry and whatever, and you’re still there. Then I disappear, and when I come back, you’re still there. Still you. Still silly, with a hidden depth that can be quite profound. Just keep being here. Being your sometimes annoying and always interesting self.
well… uh… can I be extra annoying?
In some ways I believe that being able to actually put into words pain, suffering, etc. is therapy for whoever is writing. It is wonderful to have a world of support out there that listens and sometimes cares and talks back. But, even if no one responds the simple act of put it out there is very therapeutic. I also believe that no matter how bad things have been (and you have had your moments) that you can always find someone that is worse off than yourself and be grateful for that. The number one thing I believe is that you can get through everything with a sense of humour…being able to laugh at yourself, being able to laugh with someone. You are one of those guys who can always make us laugh no matter how bad things get. It is a gift and you share it generously.
sniff… I have something in my eye…
Do you need some Visine?
Claratine
If you sit and think about all the shit, all the disease, all the hardship that this world throws at people, it can be pretty overwhelming (not to mention, depressing). Never underestimate the power of laughter to make someone’s world a little bit brighter.
I will try not to
Being able to laugh with you helps to ease the pain and knowing that you empathize makes the laughter that much more meaningful 🙂
That is very sweet of you to say, thanks.
I think the same thing occasionally. there are some blogs I don’t start following just because there’s only so much I can read, though there are some I won’t miss a post, because I think it’s important to listen at the very least, and lend support where I can, since any of them could have easily been me.
Don’t underestimate just being there, or laughter.
Thanks… sometimes it is hard to read posts done by people who have been through hell… I try to be supportive, but it can really rip you apart sometimes.
Right there with you, but what else can we do?
I am trying to figure that out
See? No wonder I like us! You are the half of me that hasn’t had to suffer but you understand. We touched on this on that famous post you have, the one with all the comments. Feeling like you missed your calling (to save the world?)
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to take the pain away? A coworker recently lost his mom. It is going on 4 weeks since he has been to work. I am very concerned about him. And I understand, both my parents are no longer living.
Life is complicated, and death is even more so.
I am trying to save the world… I am just taking the long way around…
I am on this same exact page. But I’m learning that there is (sometimes) a way just to sit with people, recognize & acknowledge their pain and be comfortable sitting in that honest place with them without taking it on – this can be a great gift in itself. And/or silliness can be a most welcome relief 🙂
It is a funny gift to have, but I guess I am using it fairly well… thank you.
This was very kind of you. I’ve always known you had empathy.
I should help in the real world… volunteer… be a big brother or something.
You should Arthur. I say this not because I do it and find it fulfilling, or to throw some guilt your way. I know how satisfying it feels to sit behind this keyboard and dispense sympathy and hopefully healing advice and commentary. I get the same contentment and joy with my blog. But there is something about sharing yourself with another person in need you can reach out and touch.
Finding a kid, even in the neighborhood, you can mentor, help find a job and avoid choosing the wrong path is a very fulfilling effort. It takes the interactivity of blogging to the next dynamic.
A blog quintessentially manifests the truth behind the adage, “No one cares what you think until they know how much you care.” That is why your blog is so successful and also why it can occasionally go askew and all is forgiven. For a “family” blog, we can get a little “blue” in an effort to get in touch with all of our humanity, but we are careful to try and not do harm. We come here to share a little joy and in the process heal one another where we can or at least bind up wounds and relieve pain and suffering.when we can’t.
I think you would find even greater pleasure doing this on a face-to-face basis with at least one other person. To see that one person progress through life over the years and know you had a positive influence and made a difference in their life-outcome is a powerfully humbling experience. I strongly suggest it for you.
Peace friend,
Dan
I am going to consider this… real life is still going on outside my little blog world…
I think you’d be great at it if it’s something you want to do. You said kids like you right?!
yes, I did say that
Go for it!
well I can’t right now
okay
oh
Don’t question it, just be grateful. Hugs, Barbara
Thanks… I will try not to let the guilt eat me…
This is one of the nicest things I have read in a very long time! Your empathy shines through loud and clear. Thank you for that.
I fee similarly when it comes to how fortunate I feel for the amazing relationship I have with Mr. Brickhouse. We truly have (knock on wood) a solid relationship filled with lot’s of love. I feel guilty often when hearing friends and family complain about their relationships. Ours is not perfect by ANY means, but it is pretty special.
Just keep spreading your humor – that’s contribution enough. 🙂
Thank you. I just can’t help feeling that I could help out in the real world a little more.
Quick — knock on wood. Thank your lucky stars. Quote every silly superstition you’ve ever heard. And then shut up! This is not a club anybody wants to join. Trust me.
good point
Nope. You can’t have my pain. I’m sorry, but that is my final word on the subject. My pain has shaped me, continues to shape me even as we speak.
My kinder love me. They think I’m a great mom. I have friends who think WAY more highly of me than I do. I don’t know who I would be without my pain, but I have never wished to find out.
Well, ok. You can have the fibro if you really want it… 😉
sigh
pllllbt.
…ooo000ooo…
sigh
whee
ze
no
pe
stop finishing my words for me…
Silly makes people laugh and takes the mind away, if only for a moment. Thank you.
I feel like the wise man who brought myrrh
Don’t worry. Your turn will come.
Does that make you feel better?
um… I guess so…