Ladies, do you have a man in your past who has wronged you and broken your heart? Are you longing to get back at him in a way that will last for a lifetime? Well, I have an idea that might work. It will require some preparation, but if you can follow these simple steps, I believe that your dreams of revenge will be fulfilled.
First, you need to make a large circle of female friends who wish to have babies without being encumbered with a man in their lives. Trust me, there are plenty of them out there, and who can blame them.
Once you have accomplished this goal, find the cad who treated you so shabbily, and tell him that you are now a lesbian, but that you and your new partner want to have children, and that you never in your life met a man who had the qualities of genetics, the good looks, the intelligence, the vitality, that he possesses. I assure you that this idiot will believe every word. Ask him to please donate some of his…genetic material… so that his incredible genes can be passed on for the benefit of the human race. He will probably donate gallons if you keep telling him it hasn’t worked so far. He will consider this a challenge to his virility.
Now all you have to do is get all of your new group of female friends pregnant using the donated material. I suggest they use actual clinics and not the turkey baster method, but I leave that up to you. I know that it is unfair to saddle them with the offspring of this genetic throwback, but this is revenge we are talking about.
Wait about a year, or until you have at least 10 or 15 of the jerk’s progeny all lined up. Then, you just have all of your grateful friends sue the bastard for child support on the same day.
I hope this has been helpful.
Pouring My Art Out 
Like a jerk of his ilk could afford child support!
Still mess his credit up pretty good.
Wow …you are formidable.
Or just twisted.
LOL! you are to much! ever watch a lifetime movie?? there full of revenge idea’s. on both sides.
This just came about because of a silly comment I made. I don’t really think these thing through.
good thing you don’t because we wouldn’t get such good posts…
maybe they would be even better…
Wickedly wonderful — I know just the guy! He’s have a stroke, (if I was really bad, I would say “I hope.”) 😎
You, my dear, are not really bad.
How kind of you to say — but…
Okay, fine, you could be a serial cereal killer for all I know. Feel better?
Don’t be silly — I only want to kill that one guy! And I know he is egotistical enough to fall for your plan, although he’d likely ask to watch me and my girlfriend having sex so he could “gather his genetic material” more easily. The only thing stopping me is I don’t know how to find him, thank everything that’s holy. He was quite a charmer. 😎
He must have been. But it is hard to hide a person now, what with the interwebs and all.
True — I haven’t really looked, but I will today. Thanks for the reminder!
I just hate to let a good evil plan go to waste.
I like the way you think!
I don’t even work at it very hard,
Love this! Revengeeeeeee!
I was hoping for that reaction, and now that I see it, I think I should worry about you…
I think so too
We can worry about each other… because somebody has to.
I agree, right?!?!?
We got each other’s back… so to speak…
hahahahahahahahahahahaha! I love a good diabolical plan.
I knew somebody would…
Count on me.
Oh, I do.
But what if he’s had a vasectomy…. or are you saving that for tomorrow’s public service announcement?
Obviously, like most of my ideas, this will not work every single time… or ever…
Is revenge really worth having the jerk’s genes pollute the world’s gene pool with so many offsprings?
No…, it’s a joke… but if you think that jerks, losers and stupid people aren’t already making babies at a pretty good rate, I have some bad news for you…
They are, but let’s not speed up the process artificially. There must be a better way to take revenge.
But this one seems like so much fun… and at least the jerk’s kids will be raised by women smarter than him.
Or President of the Child Support Agency.
ssshhhh… don’t blow my scam..
Tell you what – I’ll keep schtum if you can come up with an equivalent scheme for a male who has had his heart broken. Everyone’s got to have a hobby after all.
I will work on that…
If it’s anything like the one you’ve just posted, I don’t think my funny bone will be able to cope – I will have to get a new one. An occupational hazard of reading your blog I guess.
You will survive.
With sage advice like this, it’s hard to believe you aren’t the president of NOW.
Or at least the President now.
Oh El i just got his head deflated and now it’s going to swell again….
It gets big then small… over and over… it is like a beating heart.
sigh
ha
It’s worth it to swell his head just to watch him try and get his t-shirt on!
That is just mean. And I know where the little valve is, so I can deflate it when I need to.
okay i’ll give you that, it could be quite comical.
I might float away. Then you’ll be sorry.
umm..
hey now…