You can deep fry almost anything…

Politicians should never be allowed to run for public office…

There are a lot of people in China… and none of them are reading my blog…

I can’t make all of you happy all the time… even though I really do try…

I would sell my soul for one more hit on this blog…

Just because your boss says he wants to try you out in a new position, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are going to get a raise or a promotion…

I never know exactly what it is that you people are going to like…

If you don’t have anything to blog about today, you don’t have to do a post that starts off with: ‘I don’t really have anything to blog about today, but’…

Gingersnaap… http://ohmygawdjustdowhatisay.wordpress.com/ really likes bacon…

I want to follow everybody who follows me and read every word that you write, but then I would have to give up my blog because I wouldn’t have any time left…

Guns do kill people…

Money doesn’t grow on trees, and neither do clams…

If we did all live in a yellow submarine, it would smell like feet…

You can’t make an omlete without breaking a few eggs, and you can’t start a revolution without lighting a few beavers on fire…

I am only as funny as you think I am…