Maybe you can’t tell from the picture, but I actually thought long and hard about exactly which criminal to compare Trump with. I think Captain Hook is the best choice. I mean, yeah, he is a criminal, but not a very good one. Oh, he thinks he is a very good pirate, but it is hard to imagine that the other pirates take him very seriously. His plans never seem to come to fruition. And to be honest, they aren’t really very good plans to start off with.
What really pushed my Captain Hook comparison choice over the edge is the most glaring similarity between these two lackluster bad guys. It is the crew they surround themselves with. That pack of scurrilous but ineffective ne’er-do-wells with which they attempt to carry out their dastardly schemes. When it comes to taking on a crew of misfit morons and simpleton scalawags, I have to say that this is where Trump has Captain Hook beat hands down.
In the history of poorly-planned comic-opera criminal activity, Trump’s misguided malfeasance sets the new bar… firmly at ground level. He isn’t what you would call a mastermind, in the criminal sense- or in any sense- but the band of barely-believable buccaneers that he set off to plunder the wold with make Captain Hook’s crew seem downright professional.
Trump’s skill at picking the worst people for any job is bad enough when he puts people in charge of things that they have openly claimed that they want to destroy, but it does seem to me that if you were trying to get away with anything illegal, you would take some care with whom you picked to be your partners in crime. This is obviously beyond Trump’s meager talents.
If you wrote all this as a comedy, it would be too unbelievable a premise for anyone to buy into, but it is fun to watch the whole thing unravel.