Twit Wit… part 31…

*I have a crazy idea! What if we all just DON’T KILL ANYBODY TODAY!!!

*Have a dream… carry it with you… they don’t weigh much…

*The river meets the sea, and neither is ever alone again…

*Has anyone ever started driving better because someone else gave them the finger?

*Keep doing what you’re doing, but try to do it better every day.

*Tai Chi… chai tea… I always get those two mixed up… owwwww…..

*Have a plan…

*Strip poker is a sad game to play by yourself…

*It really isn’t hard to learn one new thing every day.

*Okay, people, the world has enough stupid people, let’s not make any more of those.

*Dear Queen, if you have a stiff upper lip lasting more than four decades, consult with your physician immediately.

*Yo, ho… as the hip pirate said to the prostitute…

*Why yes… I do like getting your panties in a pucker, now that you mention it.

*Always wear clean underwear… clean, sexy underwear… because, hello… hot paramedics!

*If I had a hammer… I’d get hammered in the mornin’…

*Make something of your life… nobody else is going to do it for you…

*Life is like a box of chocolate-flavored X-Lax pills…

*Life is like a box of chocolates… that was left out in the sun…

*Life is like a box of chocolates… some people like nuts, some don’t…

*Life is like a box of chocolates… wait… those aren’t chocolates… ewwwww

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Just sharing some of the little nuggets of wisdom and weirdness that dribble out of my head and into the Twitter-feed… I sort of like Twitter. Anybody can be clever or funny with a whole page to play with. But having to boil it down to its bare essentials… that takes effort.

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About pouringmyartout

You will laugh at my antics... That is my solemn promise to you... Or your money back... Stop on by...
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12 Responses to Twit Wit… part 31…

  1. benzeknees's avatar benzeknees says:

    My fave because I do it all the time: *Has anyone ever started driving better because someone else gave them the finger?

  2. psifigal's avatar PsiFiGal says:

    Those are really funny Art, you actually came up with those yourself? Have you considered doing stand-up comedy?

  3. Jamie's avatar Jami says:

    Hahaha these cracked me up.

    I once had a hot nurse who had to cut open my shirt (after I ran a red light and well, totaled all cars involved whilst put my head through the windshield). I was half asleep (awake for 5 minutes) and late picking up my sister from band camp (really). I had no shoes nor bra on….burst into friggin tears when I saw the scissors come out. Ladies, if you don’t want hot nurse seeing your boobies when he’s sticking heart monitors all over you, always wear a bra when you leave the house.

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