(You can tell this is an old post because it starts off with me being 51… and I am now 54… but the truly scary part is that ‘sagging’… or whatever young guys call it when they walk around with their pants pulled down below their butts… is still a thing)…

This post was called: Life Lessons…

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You may not believe this, but you can actually learn a few things if you survive on this planet for 51 years.

Here are two things I have learned.

1. If you are one of those young guys who wear your pants down below your ass, then you have to decide between a life of fashion and a life of crime. Trust me, wearing your pants this way greatly decreases the odds that you can outrun a cop, let alone a police dog. If you do not believe me, just watch a few episodes of the show ‘Cops’. (Also, just so you know, this look is not cool. Someday you will regret this look, just like your parents still get teased about some of the things they wore when they were that age. There are only two reasons that could account for this look.Either a kid went out of his house looking like that because he was so busy having a real life that he didn’t even notice that he was ‘sagging’, or some kid who grew up in a ghetto and couldn’t afford a belt went out of his house that way because he didn’t have a choice. Either way, that first kid was, indeed, cool. Copying him does not make you cool).

2. Do not ever drink orange juice right after brushing your teeth with Crest toothpaste. This is not just a bad taste in your mouth, it is some sort of chemical reaction, and you will regret it… just like you regret the cool clothes you wore when you were 16.