The Scanner

by Arthur Browne

Nice. Waking up in a warm, soft bed. I can’t even remember the last time… oh, hello, somebody is in the bed with me. A warm hand with long nails is caressing my… our… belly. Wake up, sleepyhead. Let’s see where she is going with this. The hand slid further up and began rubbing our… my… breasts? What the fuck? I don’t remember ever waking up as a woman before.

Kara Thompson came awake slowly to the warm caresses. She turned her head and opened her eyes to see the bright blue eyes of Lilly Craft staring longingly back at her, a warm and somewhat lascivious smile on her lips. “Oh let me pee first, baby,” Kara crooned, jumping out of the bed and scrambling to the bathroom. But as she sat on the toilet the alarm began to screech. That was a mood breaker. That meant there were wounded to be taken care of.

Watching a naked girl getting dressed is a good way to start a day. Even a day where I have to die again. But some morning sex would have been way better, damn it. Oh, man. Hot lesbian sex. And I fucking missed it. And now I have to watch while my new host ‘takes care of the wounded.’ Oh fucking boy. And wearing panties and a bra is sort of a trip. But not as much of a trip as feeling our boobs bouncing while we run through the hospital. I sort of like this. It is almost enough to take my mind off what I learned yesterday. Well, not yesterday exactly. I don’t die in any particular order. Sometimes I die early in the war, sometimes later. I need to wrap my head around what I found out. But damn it, having boobs is just so distracting.

   Kara waved goodbye to Lilly as they split up, each rushing down a hallway to where they had their own work to do. Lilly worked in triage where she would assign priorities to the incoming wounded. Kara was a trauma nurse. She ran straight to the trauma ward prep room and began getting ready.

So this whole war is just kept going by a few greedy bastards. I don’t know why that should surprise me and make me so angry. Is that really so much worse than all these people dying just to keep a tyrant in power or to overthrow him? Yeah. For some reason it is. The frustration of knowing without being able to tell anyone just made it worse. I barely paid attention as my new host… or hostess… finished scrubbing up and went out into the ward, joining a surgeon at a rolling gurney holding a wounded soldier. 

   Kara assisted the surgeons with five operations over the next three hours. There were three wounded mercenaries from her own side and a merc and a rebel from the other. She had time to grab a quick lunch by herself before two wounded government soldiers were brought in. But even as she suctioned the blood out of a deep leg wound as the surgeon removed chunks of shrapnel, her mind was on other things.

Oh man. How am I supposed to concentrate on feeling sorry for myself when you keep thinking about your hot little friend? Try to keep your mind on your work. Although I must admit that you are a pretty good nurse, young lady. And you have answered one of the questions that has troubled men for as long as we have been around. Women really do think about sex as much as we do. 

   The operation ended and the patient was stitched up and snug in his bed. Kara washed up and went back to her quarters. Lilly was waiting there. As soon as the door was closed Lilly lunged forward, almost slamming herself into Kara. The kiss was sweet and deep, two tongues flicking at each other like angry serpents. Lilly thrust her hand down Kara’s scrub pants and under her panties. Her fingers began to work deftly at the soft folds that were already wet.

Oh my God, you are a sweet, horny little thing, aren’t you? I could get used to this. This might even be better than sex with a penis. Our knees are getting weak. I am learning way too much way too fast. Man, I am glad I never woke up as a gay guy. I mean, I love my gay friends, but I ain’t ready for that. Holy shit. I can’t even think. Women have the best fucking orgasms. Don’t stop. Don’t even think about stopping. 

   The alarm went off, this time accompanied by a voice. “A bomb was just detonated in the capitol. Massive civilian casualties. All personnel report to duty stations immediately.”

Oh for fuck’s sake. Can a guy be a lesbian for just one fucking minute? Just once? Is that too much to ask with all the shit I am going through?  

   Twenty minutes later Kara was helping a surgeon who was trying to save the life of a five year old boy. All the large med scanners were being used so she grabbed one of the hand-held units. This new and improved version was being tested for field use by medics and this was the perfect opportunity to see just how good they were.

Holy shit. I used to use one of these back when I was a medic. But those were much bigger. A chill just shot up my spine, and it isn’t even my spine. I was using one the day I first died, I think. I mean I think I died. And I think that is how I ended up in this dying over and over again mess. I just can’t remember very well. I barely remember my own life. I know I was a medic, and I know my name was… is… William. Or Willie. I think my mom called me Willie. But her face is gone, faded away like morning mist. Something happened to me the day I died. Something worse than dying. I remember a wounded man. And I was using one of the old scanners. No… that isn’t right. It was just getting dark. I came up to the wounded guy and… That’s all I can remember. 

   Kara finally had a chance to slip away to use the bathroom. After washing her hands she splashed water on her face and looked at herself looking back at herself in the mirror thoughtfully.

Oh shit. It’s you. The nurse from yesterday. My yesterday anyway. Somehow it’s still your today. 

   Kara leaned forward, looking at the dark circles under her eyes, the new wrinkles, the pale tone of her skin. Not enough sleep or sun. Too much stress. She felt old.

You don’t need to worry about that, honey. You aren’t going to get any older than this. And that brings up a funny point. I think this is the first time I ever knew more or less how and when I was going to die this far in advance. I have never been two people who died together right in a row before. Well, it is going to be an explosion of some kind, and it is going to be over very fast. 

   The day dragged on for Kara. Working on wounded civilians was bad enough, but the kids really got to her. She was surprised but not unhappy when the head trauma nurse called her away during the amputation of a teenage girl’s leg. The head nurse, a tough old bird named Mrs. Torrence, told her that she was needed in one of the recovery rooms right away. She was also surprised to see a young captain in the room. He was wearing a holster on his belt. She read the chart on the new patient who lay in the bed. Gunshot wound to the side. Through and through. Good vital signs. He had already been patched up. An IV was attached to his arm. The patient began to stir and mumble. She leaned over him and watched his eyes open.

Listening to the wounded prisoner tell the same story while I watch from the outside isn’t any better than hearing the story the first time. Counting down the minutes until the kind young nurse dies, I realize that this is another first. This is the first time I have ever looked forward to dying. I want to wake up inside someone else. I want to go back to where the worst thing I have to worry about is a long, painful death. I don’t want to know what I know.