Yup… I am still going through all my old tweets on Twitter and posting them here. I am even thinking of publishing a book full of these. I mean this is just the stuff that leaks out of my crack-squirrel infested cranium in between the really weird stuff I do on this blog. So I guess you could think of them as crack squirrel droppings. And they have to fit in those tiny boxes on Twitter. And I make up a bunch of them every single day because I don’t want the people on Twitter to think I love you blog people more… even though I do… unless you follow me in both places… and then I love you most of all…
***(WARNING… may contain bad words… and more than a little insanity)***
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*Our anthem has bombs and rockets… what does yours have? Oh… pride? I guess that’s alright too…
*I keep forgetting what a bad memory I have…
*Common sense? There is nothing common about any of my senses…
*If you ain’t scared of bears you have never really tried to pet one…
*Who invented pants anyway? I bet it was some man.
*I give that idea one finger up…
*It’s all good… or is it?
*Things run more smoothly when you just do everything I say and don’t ask questions…
*I love that you are following me… but I warned you about checking out my bumm… cheeky monkey…
*Hey… you… If you are following me you are going the wrong way…
*The road to hell is a slippery slope… or something…
*Put on your big-boy pants… yes… you can keep the diaper on underneath…
*Put on your big-boy pants… uh… no… not the ones with the big stains on the back…
*I think Honey Boo Boo could take Justin Bieber in a fight… but either way I would pay to see that…
*Three unfollowers… just for that, I am going to be extra funny from now on…
*From now on I am going to pretend that the people who unfollow me died in a tragic and painful manner… it just makes me feel better…
*All in all… you’re just another dick and some balls… best almost Pink Floyd lyrics ever… (sorry)
*I got my mojo risin’… You might want to step back a few paces…
*I got my mojo risin’… Which is good… because everything else is lower than it used to be…
*I got my mojo risin’… My IQ on the other hand…
*I got my mojo risin’… It is sort of like when you throw up in your mouth a little…
Pouring My Art Out 
I like your Twit Wit posts – I get to see how truly clever you are in 140 characters or less!
Well I try to be clever here for longer than that…
*Things run more smoothly when you just do everything I say and don’t ask questions…
I’ve been saying this for YEARS!! Now…if the fucktards of the world would just listen for once; I’d be in good shape!! (YES, round is a shape)
And now they have to decide which of us to listen to.
Well, you and I BOTH know if they listen to me at least they can always say they are right!!
I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening.
LMFAO
Now that I can hear clearly for some reason.
You took your head out of your ass??
Don’t be like that…
Aww, c’mon…you knew it was coming. No offense meant!
I’m not saying you are wrong… just that it could have been worded more cleverly…
Coulda, shoulda, woulda. I’ll try be more witty and clever next time!! Lol
We have to set the bar high or we end up with morons… and the world has enough of those…
i think you are a freak 🙂
Is that another one of the top secret bits of info leaked by that Snowden guy???
Now that you know, you understand what has to happen next…
I have to kill all of you?
Please do it quickly.
You mean like kill you quickly or do it now?
No torture.
I would never kill you like that…
Aww…that’s so sweet.
It would be quick… so quick…
twits can twitter too,
You would be surprised how many of us… ummm… them do…
Reblogged this on site2cite.
“*I keep forgetting what a bad memory I have…”
-that’s me!
That is a clever quote… who said that?
HA!