I am disappointed that more of you were not super impressed by the first tweet in Twit Wit… Part 8… That was a good one. But not to worry. I have plenty more where that came from…
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*No, that dress does not make you look fat… does this hat make me look smart?
*No, that dress does not make you look fat, but those running shoes don’t make you look fast either…
*What do you mean I’m immature? I know you aren’t, but what am I???
*It is amazing how many of us survive to adulthood… but so far, nobody has managed to survive beyond that…
*I just want to share my thoughts with you… I don’t really care if they are good or not…
*You are living life in the fast lane… but your turn signal had been on for the last 60 miles…
*You are a member of the jet set… but they sent all your luggage to the wrong city…
*My fortune cookie lied to me!!!
*You can lead a horse to water… but you can’t make him think…
*When I dance with the stars, I dance with the big hot ones… no… the ones in space… you are so immature…
*I tweet because I care… is anybody buying that?
*Just so you know, as I am typing this… I’m not wearing any cologne… at all…
*We are all in this together… now get off my lawn…
*Nobody does what you do like you do what you do…
*I put my pants on one leg at a time… I just have more legs than most of you do…
*We all gaze at the same stars, but we all see them in our own way…
*I will never be ordinary…
*Why is Hugh Jackman retweeting Marie Osmond on my Tweety page? Am I even following Hugh Jackman???
*I am following Betty White and I don’t care who knows it…
*Clean up your room… what, were you raised in a manger? … oh… sorry Jesus…
*Robin Hood ripped his leather jerkin off…
*If you’re happy and you know it… slap your glands…
Pouring My Art Out 
So Jesus is on twitter?
One can only assume.
I guess he was ahead of his time; aren’t all the verses in the bible under 140 characters long?
Well they sort of broke them up that way. You could do that to any book.
Way to pooh pooh my bible/twitter analogy, man…
I am Whiney the Poop.
There’s a fake one whom you can contact through the pope @Pontifex, or there’s the real one who still occassionally goes by the name of David Shayler.
I keep seeing god on there… he gets into fights with Ricky Gervais…
It’s probably Ricky Gervais having a conversation with himself…weirdo.
He does not like god…
Have you seen his stand up routine about religion?
yes
That’s ok then.
Laszlo Toth is still languishing on Tumblr…loser!
Yeah, idiot!
What’s a Tumblr?
It’s a poor man’s a WordPress; full of mentally disturbed geologists.
They’re the worst kind.
It only seems fair to me… oh man… I can’t believe I went there…
I don’t get it…
That does you credit…
I gotta go… back in a couple hours…
And gynecologists with bad breath.
Oh man…I can’t believe you went there!
That’s what I said… you are so much smarter than that Cabbage guy.
He is a bit of a wally…but he’s a fan of yours so he can’t be all stupid.
Well played…
Ha.
How sad.
I hate it, absolutely hate it, when my fortune cookie lies to me!
I guess they can’t all be right.
Unacceptable. I demand better. I demand fortune cookie perfection!
All your demands will come true… Your lucky number is 666…
*evil grin* Excellent!
I try…
The Hugh Jackman thing was a joke right? If he is following Marie Osmond, then my whole fantasy of him will be crushed.
One can only imagine…
*Nobody does what you do like you do what you do…
That was awesome 😀 I had to read it a couple of times
A lot of those are deeper than they first appear…
Yes they are.
Oh good… I thought I might be exaggerating my cleverness.