Russia is making me angry. Their decision to take such a bizarre stand on the issue of gay rights is pissing me off. You wouldn’t like me when I’m pissy! My mental muscles will start to swell and turn green and I will rip right out of this sequined ball gown… uhhh… metaphorically speaking.
So I have made it my duty to mess with Mr. Putin for a while. Because he has earned my wrath. The new rules are going to totally destroy figure skating and gymnastics at the upcoming Olympic games. Not that I really care about that. This is all about standing up for a picked-on minority.
So let me start off by doing some picture of Vlad ‘the Implaer’ Putin. Not pictures that I messed with in Photoshop… I will get to those later… but just regular pictures found on Google. I want to make sure we all know who we are talking about here…
This is the guy who hates gay people?
This is the guy who want to make sure that nobody acts gay in Russia?
Or they will get sent to jail?
So this guy, who looks like he is starring in the Russian remake of Brokeback Mountain, doesn’t want people to act too gay?
This guy who is named after Count Dracula… Vlad the Impaler… who was famous for shoving logs up people’s behinds? Do they not have irony in Russia???
This picture alone should send Vlad to his own Gulag, where he can sweat in the forest with other muscular Russian men.
Love the coat, Vlad. Looking Fabulous!!!
Oooohhhh….. you are so butch…
You are manhandling that guy… you have him right where you want him.
Open wide…
That stroke will no longer be allowed at the Olympics!
I don’t even have a funny line for that picture, but I do know that I am going to laugh every time I watch the opening of the Andy Griffith show, where Andy takes little Opie out to the lake to go fishing. That is like a Norman Rockwell painting… if Norman Rockwell painted gay calendar pictures…
ummm… okay…
I wish I could quit you… no… seriously… I do…
I hope you have learned your lesson. You do not get to act like spoiled princess, dress like a member of the Village People, and throw a hissy fit about acting gay. Because they aren’t acting gay. They really are gay, you idiot. You might want to spend your time worrying about why you are acting straight. Because you are really bad at it.
Pouring My Art Out 
It is funny, that people like the author of this post started crying about this law only now. It was passed a few months ago, but only now this hysteria sparked off. Just after Snowden got an asylum. Looks like somebody pushed the button and a brain washing machine in the western media started working to make Russia looks like an Evil Empire.
I have just been busy. And I don’t have a brain to wash. And hating is still hating.
No, Mass Media just didn’t show you whoever you should hate. Now you know and act in a way they want)
I admit that our knowledge of the new Russian anti gay laws come from the media. How else would we find out about them. But unless they are just making the whole thing up, it is still worth poking a little fun at the guy in charge.
Your comments make it, and you didn’t have to mess with them! Amazing
It is a funny world.
Does this guy think he is looking all butch by walking around & riding horses half-naked? Ewwww!
I think he does.
If you lay down with dogs, you git up with fleas….maybe the itching is why he always has his shirt off?
The last one looks like his publicity pic for the winter tour of Bay City Rollers.
I’m telling you, these captions just write themselves.
luv this
Oh stop.
Also, this is an excellent post and a great point. What a twat that guy is. I’m definitely boycotting the winter olympics. They’ll have to find someone else to fellate that frozen fencepost now.
Okay… family blog… but there you go again… I love that male humans use that part of the female anatomy to insult each other, even though it is their favorite part… silly humans…
Wait. You take exception to the word “twat” but you have no problem with fellating fenceposts? What am I missing??? Also, bite me. And further, I want another rhyming day. Or two. Those were the good old days.
I am not ready to rhyme again… and it is all the gratuitous swear words that offend my gentle sensibilities!
Um. Fuck off? Does that count as swearing or just querying? Trent want rhyming day!
Why can’t you control your potty mouth. I will go back through all my old posts and edit your comments so all you talk about are rainbows and unicorns.
And occasionally rainbows having rough sex with unicorns? It can happen you know.
sigh
Don’t knock it till you try it. Also, sighs are generally not what you hear when a unicorn is fornicating with a meteorological abnormality.
Rainbows aren’t abnormal…
My grandkids are going to read this… when they get born… and learn to read…
Well they’re going to have to come face-to-face with the wild reality of their grandpa sooner or later. Not to mention the rest of the world. Why not in the friendly confines of your friends in the blogsphere? And oh yeah. Fucknuts.
Now you are just being obstreperous again.
Um, making up words again?
They are all made up.
Que?
words, word
I dunno, i’m pretty straight, but those pictures of Mr. Putin are creating some odd stirrings deep inside. Maybe we should propose a three-way: the American-Canadian-Russian Gay Summit, no shirts allowed. Yee-ha! Ride it Vlad! Ride it hard!
This is a backlash that I was not expecting, but if I can turn one person gay because of pictures of Putin, then it will all be worth it.
Is bi okay? I don’t know if I want to renounce hereto-sex just yet. I mean Putin’s cute and manly in a very twink-type of way, but he really needs to grow some more chest hair before I’d go full gay for him.
He has a team of Spetsnaz commandos that shave him every day. He is a big, furry bear of a Russian.
Yum yum. I think I just ate a bug.
Was it a flea?
What are you insinuating there? I take offence, sir.
I bet you do.
I am not a gambling man. I take offence to that too.
You are being a putz today.
I can honestly say that I do not know the meaning of the word. And I’m Canadian dammit.
Just keep it clean… don’t work blue… you are better than that… consider it a challenge.
For the next post, you can do pictures of Putin and Medvedev (the guy who kept Putin’s seat warm from 2008 to 2012) doing fun stuff together.
I will try to get to that, but these pictures are sort of doing themselves… so to speak…
Your posts are doing themselves, you mean? Because Putin’s topless pictures are always staged, or at least officially approved for release.
That is so gay.
Art,
You’re such an asshole. I had decided not to laugh today, and I lawled all the way through. And I was it was to flatter you, you fuck, but no. I laughed. Fucker.
Le Clown
This might be the proudest moment of my life… but I ain’t done with that guy yet.