Obviously most of you will never become involved in a contest to see how many people you can make scream and run away and/or start puking…
But if you ever are, trust me, this is a game winner.
All you need is;
One razor blade.
One large ziplock bag.
One of those dye pills the you put in your mouth that turns your saliva red and stains your teeth so you can see where you haven’t been brushing properly… (Do they even sell those anymore?)…
A small square of sheet metal.
One large, scary kitchen knife.
Some duct tape.
A clean, white T-shirt that you do not want to keep.
A big friend that owns a big car with a big trunk… (It works best if this is a friend of yours that is not known by the people you are pulling the prank on, but either way)…
Some pig blood and pig intestines… (What? You still haven’t made friends with a butcher? If you aren’t going to take this seriously then why are you even here?)…
To pull off this stunt, you need to have the correct setting, just like the last one. This time you need to have all your friends… the more the better… gathered in an outdoor place, like a park, that has the parking lot right next to where your friends are hanging around. I only did this joke once, but it was at a small park that had the parking lot just where I wanted it. There was a big party with lots of people from my high school, and some of my friend’s bands were playing. I even got to sing a Bad Company song with one band before I did my prank.
Here is how you prepare the illusion. I just slipped away to the bathroom to do it.
First, the ‘victim’… (this time the victim does not refer to those people you pull the prank on, but rather the main prank-puller)… takes the little square of sheet metal and tapes it to their stomach. Make sure, if it has sharp edges, that you wrap some duct tape around them first so you don’t hurt yourself. On top of the sheet metal you tape the big ziplock bag, filled beforehand with pig blood and about 6 or 8 feet of pig intestines. Cover your work with the clean, white T-shirt.
In one hand you hold the dental staining pill, and in the other hand you hold the razor blade. Don’t let anybody see them. Now just walk out and stand nonchalantly right next to the parking lot.
It doesn’t matter if anyone is paying attention to you or not… because they soon will be. Because this is when your big friend with the big car comes roaring into the lot and slams on the brakes near you. Pop the pill in you mouth and start to froth up your saliva into a nice, foamy, sticky, drippy red mess. Hold the razor blade between thumb and pointer finger firmly.
The big guy jumps out of his car, screaming something about how you slept with his girlfriend or sister… or mother, doesn’t matter which. This should be enough to attract the attention of everyone standing nearby. When I did it, the band that was playing even stopped their song to watch what was happening.
Now here is the key part. You… the victim… should have your back to the crowd. This is important. When the big, angry guy gets within arms distance, still shouting, he suddenly pulls the huge kitchen knife from under his coat or wherever, and brandishes it. Give the crowd a chance to see the knife, but not too long. Here is where you need to be careful. The pissed off big guy swings the knife at the victims stomach. Don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be real close. That is why the victim has his back to everyone. It just has to look good… like a stage punch.
Here is the fun part. The victim bends over like they are clutching their stomach. Then he just uses the razor blade to slice open the bag of blood and guts… see why you want to have the sheet metal there? Because if you get carried away you could actually slice your stomach open. A huge gush of blood will come pouring out to splash and splatter all over the place. There is an art to this next part. You want to let about 3 or 4 feet of the pig intestines squeeze out between your fingers. Don’t let them fall all the way out. Hold on to them. Why, you ask? I am coming to that. Because now is when you stand up and turn around. When you turn and straighten up the rip in your once-red shirt and the ripped open but still bloody plastic bag will open up and look just like the inside of your stomach cavity.
But we aren’t done yet. Oh no. Start spraying foamy red juice from your mouth. You should now be covered in gore from head to toe. But the thing that pushes it over the edge if you do it right is this; Start swaying back and forth, still holding the intestines. As you sway, the dangling part will start to swing back and forth slapping against your legs. Trust me, it is nasty. You should have lots of people running, screaming and/or barfing at this point.
(Hey, don’t judge me, I was 16 and it was a contest)…
Now you have two choices at this point. You can either take a bow and tell everyone you were just kidding, or you can have the big guy walk you to his car, throw you in his trunk, and drive away. If you do that, I suggest theat he cover his license plate with something before he pulls into the parking lot. And maybe put some plastic sheeting down in the trunk.
Just bear in mind that the cops were more likely to realize that it was just a joke way back in the 1970’s.
If you want to do this prank without the car, try it at a Halloween party… or a family get-together… if you hate your family… but if you do this at Thanksgiving dinner with a turkey carving knife, don’t blame it on me… you are even more twisted than I am.
Pouring My Art Out 
I wish I could have seen it!
No. you don’t.
😎
I was thinking how a vegetarian would adapt your jokes. They probably wouldn’t befriend a butcher so maybe they befriend a haberdasher and be given red ribbons to act as the blood in your scenes. Do you think this would work for any meat averting people?
As a piece of street performance art, yes. But the only people who would run screaming are other haberdashers when you cut the shirt.
This prank was pretty good, too, but when you said “pig intestines”, that made me think of bacon.
Of course it did.
i wouldn’t have been sick, i would have been calling 911
Maybe both.
no i was never a squeemish (sp?) person
Okay, you win this time.
i would have been doing whatever was medically needed, too, if psycho guy with knife wasn’t there…i jump into care mode action in emergeny situations
I do that too.
ha you create the scene then become the hero..how clever!
Story of my life… ha.
duley noted
What is that supposed to mean?
😉
I love it, you ain’t right. Now, for a moment, I was beginning to wonder if you were a psychopath. Then I though, nah, he has a sense of humor. Most psychopaths that I know (mainly in-laws and former co-workers) don’t have that great a sense of humor. To be fair though, my in-laws and former co-workers don’t have a high enough IQ to be a true psychopath anyway.
*thought, not though
I never noticed. I can’t spell and I am a computer moron.
If you scroll down, and keep hitting the ‘older posts’ button, and scroll more, you will see that I am harmless and funny… and maybe a littel weird.
Honey, we are all a little weird. Let’s face it, for those of us that are outrageously funny, we are totally harmless. We will be too busy looking for the humor in the situation and maybe from my standpoint, I’m just too lazy to be violent. “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” Keep up good work, I enjoy twisted and funny!! ;0)
I think I am going to finish that practical joke series with one more story today. Glad you are having fun.
Looking forward to it. I’m getting ready to update a previous post of mine, and I instantly thought of you on this one. I think you should do this one. I would love to read about it!!
Tell me when it is up so I can check it out.
It’s up. Today’s first post titled – “Update”. Enjoy!!
What the hell is WRONG with you!?!?!!?!?! lmao
I tried to warn you but I was too late… go back a week or so to the cute baby pictures and just scroll through them… it will clean the bad taste out of your mouth…
Another good prank…much enjoyed the chitterlings…er the reading!
Rachael
Thank you. It takes a lot of guts…
F-U-N-N-Y!
Hey… I’m not a 3-year old… when you spell in front of me I can still underst… oh… thanks…
I think I just threw up in my mouth.
Ooooohhhh… I get a bonus point for that. I need to call my friends that are still alive… and sane.
OK. Just don’t call me.
Fine… I won’t.
I must be as sick as you. Once I got to the actual prank, I couldn’t stop laughing. I laughed until the end. I have 4 boys…..this is going to be fun when they get older! We love Halloween…and pranks.
I should have copywrited… copyrighted? copyritid?… oh, go ahead…
It may be a while, I think they would be scarred for life at this point. There would be that sickening moment when people honestly thought it was real. Did your friends bash the crap out of you? What did they say?
I got in the trunk and gave them time to cool off… When they saw me later, they were so relieved to see that I was alive they forgave me. Mostly.
That could go really pear shaped in a country where people are allowed to have guns!
Ah, times were simpler back in the old days.
So true!
And I was less pear-shaped…