I sort of teased all of you in the last post. And I even sort of teased Willy about how popular he was on the blog. And I may be bombarding you with too many posts each day, but I got sort of caught up in this whole Willy week thing. So maybe I need to explain the way I feel about babies.
I love babies. I always have. So when John said he and Eva were bringing the baby to San Diego from San Francisco for Thanksgiving… I know, everything in California is named after a Saint… I was so excited. I had been looking at all their Facebook pictures of the baby and just sighing… you know, like I do… In fact, most of the pictures I have been using for Willy week I got from their Facebook photos.
So the day after Thanksgiving we had a little party at our house, and I finally got to meet the little guy…
I know I used this picture already, but I am leading up to something, so give me a break.
Okay, I hear you thinking to yourself, you love babies. Everybody loves babies. And you have a point.
But I don’t just love them. I am fascinated and captivated by babies. In a way, I react to babies like I used to react to cute girls when I was a teenage boy. When I see a baby I forget everything else around me, and I just stare longingly and wish I could pick them up and play with them… Don’t turn that into something creepy, it is a beautiful thing. I love babies, and babies love me.
Babies do not always respond well to huge strangers, but I can walk up to any baby and make them smile and giggle… (Okay, technically one in 500 babies will cry, but that is because they just woke up or need a nap or are hungry)… I have this huge range of funny faces and noises I make that babies adore. Ask anyone who knows me. I have been working on these things for years, and I try them out on every baby that crosses my path at a mall or a restaurant or the supermarket checkout line, or anywhere else I go. In fact, my family gets a little sick of it. When I take my wife out, she doesn’t get mad because I am flirting with other women. She gets mad because I am distracted by the babies. When we go out to eat she tries to find a table in a baby free zone.
Seriously, remind me to make a video on the Ipad of all my little baby tricks. It should be good for a laugh.
There are also advanced baby tricks you can do, but I warn you, these can take years of practice and are dangerous if you do not know what you are doing.
One of these tricks is the baby toss. Yes, it is exactly what it sounds like it is. You toss the baby up in the air and then catch it… (***WARNING***… Do not forget the second part)…
Calm down…
Breathe…
I was very careful, and I am an expert…
(I am just kidding… that is a staged picture… You can’t toss a baby until they are about a year old… their necks are still too floppy… and I would never toss a baby that close to my tikis… what if I missed and the kid broke one of them)…
Seriously, as soon as Willy’s neck stiffens up, I am going to throw him at least that high… but not near the tikis… I am that good… I have only dropped 5 or 6 kids in all the years I have been doing it.
Another of the more advanced tricks for playing with babies is the hand stand…
And even I am still trying to master the upside down hand stand…
Did you fall for that? Seriously? He can’t stand up yet, and we went over the floppy neck thing, right?
I took a bunch of pictures at the party that I set up just to play these tricks on you with Photoshop. Just to let you know, there are more Photoshop pictures coming later in Willy week. I love Photoshop. It is better than real life. I am sorry if I almost gave you a heart attack.
Pouring My Art Out 
My fave is the upside down handstand. So, you need to market your iPad video as the latest and absolute greatest video babysitter. You could market it to all those people who make every baby cry.
I have a gift.
You like babies. Maybe you could have another one…
That boat has sailed. We got one through college, for crying out loud, and the other is getting close to high school.
Then it’s time for a puppy perhaps…think of the blog posts you could write about a puppy…
Oh… I have a new idea for Willy week now…
My ex husband used to do the baby toss and the hand stand. For real. With our real children. Sucked the breath out of me every time. Grrrr. Photo shop is a much better way to do this. Can you turn Willy Week into Willy Month?
I do it for real, just not with kids that young. I may do my kids baby pictures soon.
Stuff like that does make a mother’s heart jump out of her throat you know. Bet that won’t end up under “things to make my wife smile”
Especialy when I drop them…
But that’s only happened 5 or 6 times, right? And babies are made out of rubber. That’s what I always tell myself when I drop one.
Plus you can just make a new one… no problem.
Some of us can. *sigh*
That was careless of me… sorry.
Oh it’s cool. That’s a story for the stealth blog-shhhh.
Oh yeah…
Been so busy with the real blog, and Thanksgiving, and now entertaining Wonder Mutt in the evenings since Mr. Cheeky is out of town, I haven’t done any stealth blogging for a while. I usually only write there when I’m angry anyway.
I know the feeling. I blow off steam here sometimes… just look at the Romney and Cheney pictures.
Heeee…brilliant!
However, not everyone likes babeez. IMHO they need a lot more fur and longer whiskers. And it’d help a lot if they could use litter pans when you bring them home.
But Willy is a cute one. And already so ……..uh……..limber!!!
Limber, yes. Babies have soft bones.
I was hoping there would be one where you balanced him on your nose like a seal. The animal, not the singer with the scars on his face.
Either way…