You know how sometimes, before that first cup of coffee, when you are still groggy with sleep, you say something deliciously weird? I had a doozy this morning. I was in the kitchen, waiting for my coffee to finish brewing. I had just stumbled out of bed. I was trying to feed the cat, just as my wife walked in.
The cat saw the food bowl, and she lifted her front feet off the floor as she spun around in a circle. I was trying to say to my wife that the cat just did a spinning wheelie… but it came out as ‘spilling wienie’. That will never not be funny.
So here is a little game we can play. In the comments, tell your best early-morning-before-coffee story. You know, something you did or said before you were fully awake… like the time I almost poured a cup of boiling water right into the big jar full of instant coffee crystals.
Pouring My Art Out 
I don’t know if this is quite what you are looking for, but when my now husband was living in a one room apartment, I did not always get up with him but stayed in bed while he drank coffee across the room on the couch. At that time, I often said, “Would you be a dear and…” whatever. One morning I wanted to keep sleeping but was thirsty, so when he got up, I said, “Would you be a quadripedal forest creature and get me some water?” He did not laugh till he got his coffee but later told me he sat there chuckling for a while.
That is exactly what I am looking for… thanks.
I’m sorry, I don’t ever remember anything before my morning coffee.
I bet you would have the best stories… if you did…