No way! You have to pass background checks, and intelligence tests… you need clearance, and 47 forms of ID… you need people to vouch for your character… investigators will visit your blog, and the blogs you follow, and delve into your life… my minions will talk to your friends and your 4th grade teacher, asking probing questions… microbots will scurry down the power lines and find your computer and set up cameras in your home… we will hack your phone, and examine your bank accounts…
The very idea that just any random person could stroll in here and have access to the outpourings of my mind is just preposterous!
Pouring My Art Out 
Ok, that explains why you only have 3500 followers.
I am very selective…
I have a feeling I might fail the background check. But as I’m British can I stick around anyway?
I can always type up a fake report on you… I have all the codes…
Oh, that would be great, cheers!
I do need a few bad eggs to help me take over the world…
Then I’m your girl! They don’t come eggier than me. Or badder, obviously.
omelet’n you stay!!! Ha… see what I did there?
That is actually verging on genius.
I have my moments…
C’est la vie! 😉
cherchez le femme!!!