Okay, I am still working on the tiki that is going to look exactly like that picture of me that is my gravatar… me in the cool shades… I am also trying to work on my disappointment that on the day I posted a bunch of silly pictures of Donald Trump, culminating in me sticking his head on various phallic images, I got 296 views, and that now, while I am sharing the story of me creating art from wood while simultaneously creating an illustrated book for little kids, my views since I started dropped to 140, then then 69, until today, which is, admittedly a weekend and therefore traditionally a slow day, and it is still early… but 19… seriously?
So far, I am really just at the point where I am trying to remove a lot of wood in order to leave the nose sticking out of the log as far as my actual nose sticks out of my face.
I tried using my little Dremel tool with a sander bit on it… and had two of the little, slip-on sandpaper covers break and go flying off… which is dangerous… seriously, I need to invest in real tools, because this hunk of wood is hard.
I decided to try a trick I read about somewhere. I made some saw cuts, and then used a chisel, in order to remove wood faster. I call this ‘moving wood’. The saw cuts prevent you from getting a split in the wood and accidentally removing something important… like my nose. The stick leaning against the log is what I use to pound the chisels through the wood.
I did measure how far my nose sticks out of my face so I knew how far down to go around it, but I got complacent. That big flat part above the nose was sort of supposed to be where my cool sunglasses were going to be. But when I did a few quick measurements, involving putting my fingers up to various parts of my face, and then moving them to the tiki without changing the position of my fingers, I discovered that my face is really much smaller than I thought it was. The sunglasses should be much lower down. Go ahead, measure the distance between your chin and your eyebrows, and between the outside edges of your eyes. Use your fingers. Look at your fingers. Your face, the main part, really isn’t very big, is it?
Yeah, that rectangle where I was going to carve my cool shades is way too high. I think it is because I am used to doing crazy tikis where I can out stuff wherever I want to… (seriously, just type ‘tiki’ in the search bar of my blog, and you can see the ones I have already done)…
So, I sort of marked out some of the places things actually should end up… using, as you might remember from the first post in this series, the expedient of putting that printed picture of me over the tiki, driving a small nail into the wood through it on certain highlights, and then playing connect the dots with a felt pen.
Hey, don’t worry, I left extra wood for just such contingencies… because I know I don’t know what I’m doing.
Pouring My Art Out 
Screams to Art…Who is this person???
I am no longer sure…
Okay…
yup
I did a wee bit of wood sculpture oncet upont a time. They make a bit for drills that is a wood rasp and you can remove a lot of material quickly with some degree of precision. You have to stop short of removing too much course so you leave something for the finished surface on the piece.
I need me some real tools… and good to see you again…
Weird. If I put my thumb at the end of my jaw and extend my hand up, the tip of my middle finger stops at my hairline. Hmmm.
I see much hasn’t changed here during my sabbatical. This site still needs an on call psychotherapist with administrative privileges.
Hi Dan…How long was your sabbatical?
It hasn’t ceased as yet. I just felt an overwhelming and compelling urge to be snarky, snitty, snotty and snubby and knew just the place to exercise it and fear no retribution.
Well…you at least try to be all that.
Being trying is in my nature. This is so nice. Chatting away without Arthur intervening. I don’t have much time though. I have to work tomorrow and I am not in Art’s time zone…or any zone of Art’s for that matter. *twilight zone theme playing*
Okay. Working on a Sunday, I understand. I hope it doesn’t suck much. TZ…fun…Art is deep in my heart though. Not much will change that.
At double time near $5o an hour it doesn’t suck at all. Art must be off to SF seeing Willie otherwise I wouldn’t be able to abuse him with so much impunity.
No, but my family makes me do stuff on weekends…
I am like some kind of burrowing worm…
hey now… and you know you are always welcome
be all of something
wait… none at all???
I’m sorry. I was being a bit facetious about how long of my sabbatical was. The actual length of my sabbatical could be measured by putting my thumb at the end of my jaw and extending my hand up in such a way as to cause the tip of my middle finger to…well, you know the rest of it. 🙂
Well then:)
It’s been fun chatting with you and taking potshots at Art in his absence but I need to get to bed for that 12PM call tomorrow. I might get 7hrs sleep if I hurry. I may come back a visit again. I used to be a regular before starting my own blog but I just didn’t have the time once I started writing 2,000 to 4,000 word posts. I slowed down last year due to a number of reasons and really missed it. I still can’t seem to get rolling on it with all the extra work that has been coming my way. I’m sure I’ll be hearing from Art before too long.
I always seem to come back… like a boomerang…
exactly
And I might just be unique..but maybe not. It’s kinda like the can you kiss the tip of your elbow? If you can, i want pics.
A photo? No problem. As a matter of fact, I can kiss the tip of my…OH, you said elbow didn’t you. No pictures then. This is a family blog according to Art. An odd family I’d have to say though..
ha… I did my comment before I saw this one… just to you know…
I can kiss the tip of… never mind…
you just keep trying to give us that finger…
that better not be a euphemism…
Nope. It isn’t.
phew
Trent was doing that… but he is busy now…
All I know is that I am putting a tiny little face in the middle of a big block of wood…
It’s weird – you write about dicks and you get hundreds of views.
You write about playing with wood and measuring anatomical features and nobody comes.
when you say it like that, and it sounds like almost the same thing… it is even weirder…
See above boilerplate comment- February 27, 2016 at 11:49 pm
ha
You need to add the tag ‘Art porn’ – if you ‘porn’ it, they will come – bad pun accidentally on purpose 😀
I am just shameless enough to do that, but I need to not tag posts as anything bad for a while after the Trump thing… or my blog will get labeled an adults only site… sigh… which would really cut in to my book sales… especially the children’s books…
That it would… dang fickle followers 😦
Good thing I do this mostly for me… HA!
If we knew each other, I would think she directed that “dang fickle” follower remark at me.
Hey, just because I don’t offer retribution… HA!
On top of that, if it were tagged adults only, who would then come to read it. I mean, one does associate being an adult with a certain amount of maturity and social restraint, little of which is in evidence with any regularity here.
you make a good point
You mean like “Porning my art out”?
I would totally visit that site… if it was free… and had me in it… maybe…