You know how, every once in a while, and way more often than you think it could or should happen, some idiot leaves a gun lying around, and then some kid ends up shooting either another kid or themselves?
The very first time I ever heard the Adam and Eve story… and I mean way back when I was a kid myself… the first thought that popped into my head was that god should never have left those two alone in the garden while he went to work. That apple was the moral equivalent of an adult leaving a loaded gun lying around and leaving, after telling the two naïve, curious, little ones they could touch anything… except the gun.
I mean, let’s not even drag the snake into this. What kind of responsible god would do such a thing? Especially one who supposedly knew exactly what was going to happen.
If you add in the story about the same god sneaking into a virgin’s bedroom late one night and knocking her up… or asking a loyal fan to slice his own kid’s throat to show how loyal he is… well… sorry… that isn’t a god I can get behind, even without all the genocide and slavery and other such nonsense.
Yes, I know he later sent his own kid down to do a public relations campaign to soften up his image, but sorry… too little too late.
Pouring My Art Out 
It’s pretty easy to pick and choose how you want to bust God’s chops. He’s wide open.
plus he already knows all your best jokes
But why not talk about genocides? It’s also like a gun owner saying to his 7 year old kid, “Son, I know you been good, so as a reward I’ll let you take this shotgun and go shoot some varmints”.
or Philistines!
The Old Testament would make an amazing fucking horror story. Love the rape of the Sabine woman story. Two angels come to a man’s house, and he gives them shelter. Then all the townspeople come (and this is fucked up enough) and say “Hey, we saw two beautiful men come into your house. Send them out so we can gang rape them.”
Then the man says “NO! These people are my guests. Here, take my daughter.”
Then the townspeople gang rape his daughter, and then they cut her into twelve pieces and send a piece to each of the 12 tribes of Israel.
Just a read through of Leviticus is enough to either make you laugh or cry.
don’t get me started on the rules in Deuteronomy…
Actually it’s more like putting a loaded gun down in front of two ignorant, entitled, adults after carefully explaining to them that it can kill them if they touch it. They can have anything in the entire world they want except for that one dangerous thing. It is reiterated that if they touch it they will die. Still, they get bored, start to question the very one who is giving them a free ride and have nothing better to do than wonder if the bit about them dying from touching that gun is real. The begin to hang out with those who criticize their provider. They have a freely provided home, food and an entire world they didn’t have to help build and there’s no work to be done. As always happens when folks are given everything they need without putting any work into the care and keeping of it, they become ungrateful, start to hate the one who created the system whereby they needn’t do any work, and want more. There’s only one thing they don’t already have so they reach for it and BAM! Free ride’s over, get off your arse and work for what you get…. and yep you’re gonna die… but yeah, the old testament is full of some real dicey stuff. Bwah ha ha ha I also found myself wondering about those stories and God’s apparent lack of foresight when dealing with humans. My Sunday School teachers hated my “observations” I bet yours weren’t too fond of your input either?
ummm… no… they were not
🙂
…ooo000ooo…
comparing the joy of love with the pain of birth, learning, priceless
I can’t tell if you are supporting my argument or condemning it…
Reblogged this on perfectlyfadeddelusions and commented:
Yes, I agree. I couldn’t agree with you more, the old testament was some kind of guide for criminals, not peace loving people.
That is how it struck me.