The thing is… and guys, this is a thing that is partially about your ‘thing’, so pay attention… that life and sex have one very important thing… okay, turns out this is about at least two things… in common: You can do both all by yourself, but it is nowhere near as rewarding or fun.
Guys, once you have taken that first crucial step and decided to share your life… and your bed… with a woman, there is one other thing you need to do. Listen to her. Respect her. Pay attention to her… okay, that sounds like three separate things, but it isn’t. It is just one.
I will let you in on one of those secrets that is so obvious and so deeply woven into the cosmic truth of the fabric of nature that it is sometimes hard to see… like looking at a grain of sand on a beach. That truth is this: No man ever learned to be good in bed without listening and paying attention to his partner. Oh, maybe your male pride kept you from coming right out and admitting you had no idea what you were doing, and could you please have some pointers. But were you watching her eyes… were you watching her body… were you looking of those subtle clues that let you know you were doing a good job? I bet you were, you big stud!
Now all I am asking you to do is expand this concept to the rest of your life. Listen to all the women around you… not just the ones you are attracted to… listen to your mom and your sisters, your friends’ moms and sisters, your aunts, listen to the old ladies you meet, and the little girls too.
Because women know stuff we don’t know. I don’t know how they know it, but they do… (I guess that is one of the things they know that we don’t, ironically enough)… I am not saying you have to listen to them all the time. I know they can also be bat-shit crazy now and then. Heck, some of them are bat-shit crazy all the time. But trust me on this. It will improve your life.
And before I let you go, I might as well spill the beans about one other important truth. The days of the male chauvinist pig are coming to an end. They are going where the dinosaurs went. Because women used to have to marry and sleep with male chauvinist pigs… that was the only kind of men that there were. But now that women have had a taste… sorry… let’s try that again… a ‘chance’ to get to know men who care about them and think of them as equals, they are rapidly realizing that they have a choice. And face it, pigs, once women stop sleeping with you, you are going to become extinct in just one generation.
Pouring My Art Out 
Why do you think we go to the bathroom in pairs, trios or mobs? That is where we learn everything you men will never know!
well, I guess women trust me almost as much as they trust each other
I love this and yes…finally… I got here to read it and I am glad I did. I am not used to this kind of man. That sounds horrible but really woman too…we just seem to have stopped listening to anyone else but our own thoughts and our own heart beats.
I have thought about this a bunch because of some personal stuff. It is often when the little thoughtful things stop that everything else begins to stop.
Anyway, You should submit to sisterwives…they show where on their website. I had to step away from them for awhile because I have too much on my plate in real life at the moment ;(
Thank you for being such an awesome and person who listens 🙂
I will do that. And we can do the sea poem after my computer is fixed.
Ok let me know when 🙂
I think I am up and running… so whenever you are ready…
Ok let’s do tomorrow I left my picture for it at home.
ok
ahhhh… I did the submission to sisterwives… I pasted the whole post in the box… and I couldn’t figure out where to put a picture… I don’t know if I was supposed to just do a link… I suck…
They will email you when they get to yours. They had a ton waiting so just be patient.
ok… sorry… I panicked…
put in a good word for me
I’m an hermaphordite so I don’t have to worry about anything you just said!!
a hermit that worships Aphrodite??? awesome…
And I too have guitar playing fingers!
a lot of good that will do a hermaphrodite… HA!
Oh it does a tremendous amount of good!! I now know what it feels like to have multiple orgasms!! (A feature women have that has always made me extremely jealous, up until the time I morphed into a hermaphordite!)
so you are a herMORPHradite?
and why isn’t it called: himmaphrodite?
Then it would only be about him, not both. I guess.
hisandhermaphrodite…
Excuse me, now am all hot and bothered, I have to go…well…lets just say I have to go play my guitar!
HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If only everyone got this lesson, there are too many idiots out there making more babies and passing on their bad behavior… I have hope though, eventually the human race will grow up, then the aliens that have been watching us will invite us to be a part of the galactic alliance 🙂
Exactly… Also, we have to stop stealing milk from other mammals… Its all in my books…
footnote: And gay men as they tell us so much more which we can tell you.
I wish the male chauvenist was ending, I am reading so much more of young men treating women like shit. I’ve only just read a blog where the writer posted up the dialogue on Twitter and it backs this up, stuff I hear a lot of lately. I don’t know where it’s coming from but seems to be escalating more and more. It’s quite scary to witness.
The new generation of assholes aren’t really classic chauvinists. They are just spoiled and poorly raised, and therefore subject to peer pressure from other meatheads and bad music lyric writers.
True, but how do we break them?
Make girls too smart to put up with their shite?
I can only train my nieces.
But yes, it’s education on both sides or lack of.
exactly
That would explain why I am divorced and single haha
uh…..
What Gibber said….I go for braaainnnsss. Yummy.
ha
Bravo, Pouring My Art Out!! I’m glad to hear a man explain the importance of listening to women. It’s a team effort. When both men and women listen to each other fully, we’ll all be happy campers! 😀 Thanks for your awesome post!!
I’m sorry… I wasn’t listening… (HA!… oh man… I kill myself… seriously, thanks)…
Have you seen the light, on who is superior in this human race, but some of use guy’s are catching up!
I am just trying to hold the door open for the rest of you.
Reblogged this on creativeword and commented:
Amazing post and so very true. Although to remain non gender specific, I feel strongly that it works both ways. We can learn so much from men also. It’s a mutual investment….or a negative transaction 🙂
Right on, Emma! Couldn’t have said it better myself!
Well now I am just blushing.
OMG I love it! I recently sat down and did an interview with a couple who do holistic sex therapy. Great people I’m sure they’d be well impressed with what you’ve written here. They love a laugh too.
Now, apparently most guys only use 10% of their sexual capacity. What you’re recommending is for men to tap into the other 90% and make it personal. Not a bad recommendation.
I just wanted to add, women who don’t reciprocate with their guys, might know the mechanics of sex, but that’s about it. Mmm extinction on a mass level… Let’s hope so! 🙂
Well, not to blow my own horn… uh… so to speak… but I have a few advantages over most guys. I am all art-side-of-the-brain, so I am open to more things and don’t get hung up on a lot of old ideas… and I have little in common with most guys because I have no organized sports gene… and I don’t care about cars. Also, I have always enjoyed the company of women more. I find them deeper and they talk about stuff and think about stuff. Also, I have guitar-player fingers… just throwin’ that out there.
Oh shit that’s so funny.
I get it. Most of my mates have been males and I think it does give you a totally different perspective of the opposite sex. It’s like having a superpower, isn’t it? Not very popular with people of the same sex though.
Thanks so much for you and your guitar play’n fingers for making me laugh. 🙂
It was my pleasure, ma’am… that is sort of what I try to do around here.
oh man… I just remembered… you are the behavioral scientist… I always get nervous when I give you a long response… and then I wonder what you make of the fact that I always do the three dot thing… sigh
Ya gunna make me wet myself! :))
Now we are treading on dangerous ground… as a humor writer, I hate to pass up an opening line like that… but after all my big talk about respecting women, I can’t take advantage of it… sigh
Yes, just testing if he walks the walk. LOL Seriously, I’ve had such a crap couple of days.Thanks for the laughter therapy.
I love it when something I write strikes a chord with people. Thanks for making my day.
Likewise. Have a great day 🙂
I will give it a shot.
Do you know how many times I get that? Can you imagine my poor partner? Thank god I got a damaged one to work on. 🙂
seriously… all women do that… even the ones without degrees… I have been ‘fixed’ so many times that dogs and cats feel sorry for me… (okay… that time I made me laugh out loud)
Ours was a mutual fixing. We met in rehab, 12 years ago, so we started from the bottom and worked our way up. He has the practical experience, but not the paperwork! I went a step further because I’m the nerd and he’s the boy with a motorbike! A mismatch made in rehab heaven.
Oh… the bad-boy thing… HA.
Oh no the behavioral analysis has become contagious. 🙂
I must admit, a part of me was thinking that no matter how much training and schooling we have, we are never so smart that we don’t do some of the same silly stuff that other people do. Also, I was reminded of a friend of an old girlfriend… her dad was a marriage councilor, and it turns out that he sometimes got so mad at his wife that he threw plates around the kitchen… HA!
Absolutely. I lot of people I know never went to high school and they have been the ones who have taught me the most valuable life lessons and are way more precious to me than highly educated, ignorant people who assume they know everything. Not all of them are, but there are some who have no idea how uneducated and ignorant they actually are.
I went back to uni to get my degree because I wanted to learn more about the stuff I had trouble with and because my family (kids and partner) were struggling. Throw in alcoholism, drug addiction, Autism, Social Anxiety, Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Trauma, Abuse, a Personality Disorder, Domestic Violence and that was us.
Heck, there was only four of us and a dozen labels. Our youngest son was always searching for his diagnosis until at 14 he got social anxiety. It made him feel “normal” and within 8 months he was back on his feet again.
It’s laughable but it took me 8 years to finally get my degree, while getting us all on track. Talk about getting hands on experience! lol The good thing is; we did it and life is amazing.
That marriage counselor you talked about, missed out. Or rather, the marriage did. He had the knowledge at his disposal and didn’t use it. He didn’t believe what he was selling.
There’s heaps of people in the psych profession that do that and don’t have a clue about what their clients live through when they leave that office or even follow their own advice. How can they be effective?
It’s a shame that employment comes down to what paperwork you have rather than the experience which life brings. Sure, I’m proud of my paperwork, but so much prouder at what myself and my family have achieved.
Anyway, sorry about the rant! Speaking of family I better get off this laptop and actually do something! It’s been great talking with you. 🙂
ok… I will tell you all about my not finishing high school someday… and my… uh… we can get into it later…
Absolutely. 🙂
Ha
My wife is a computer genius who remembers phone numbers she called once in high school. I am all art-side-of-the-brain, don’t have my multiplication tables memorized, and have no real life skills.
She’s the brains of the operation and you are just cruising along for the ride.lol Makes for a very happy life.
well that is a sort of female-centric/taking the smart person’s side point of view… but yeah… pretty much…
Women have something to say about this too — they need to stop allowing men to disrespect them. And they need to teach their children — of both sexes — respect, friendship. The rest should fall into place nicely.
did I not just say that very thing… somewhere… in my blog…
Yes. But it has more weight coming from a woman. Especially an overweight one.
Ha… you kill me…
I do my best!
hey now
The biggest sex organ is the brain and what you say here is very true.
because my brain is freakin’ huge! HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pft
oh yeah