Well, I guess we just need to move past all this unpleasantness. And what is the best way to do that? Laughing, of course. And what are we going to laugh about?
More of my tweets!!!
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*Dear stupid people… please use birth control… we already have enough stupid people…
*There is a cure for stupidity… it’s called ‘shutting up’…
*If you can only be really good at one thing… make that thing everything…
*The only way we are going to get young guys to stop walking around with their pants bellow their butts is if old guys start doing it too.
*Hold your horses… I don’t like the way the brown one is looking at me…
*I can lead a horse to water and make him drink… I am that good…
*Potty training your son? Put a Cheerio in the bowl… it gives him something to aim at… this works on male adults too, just so you know…
*I don’t think I am better than you… but that doesn’t mean that I think you are as good as me…
*Gay people getting married doesn’t destroy the sanctity of marriage… cheating does…
*I try not to let life get me down… but the people… what can I do about that?
*No… I will not behave like an adult… have you met many adults???
*All we are saying, is give peas a chance…
*All we are saying, is give pizza chance…
*Just sit on a happy face…sing it with me now…
*The secret is that I pretend in my head that you are all real people…
*How do I love me? Let me count the ways…
*I don’t really want followers… too much responsibility…
*I found a way to cheer myself up about my unfollowers… I just pretend they died…
*I am going to miss me when I’m gone…
*Sex with the dead??? I don’t even like the way they French kiss…
*Holy crap… I just figured out the secret of how to unlock the unused portion of our brains and turn us all into gods… all you have to do is (see, I made it so I ran out of characters at the end… so it’s funny)
*I figured out the secret of love… I know how to make everyone on the planet love you. You will never be alone again… all you need is (see, I did it again)
*I figured out how we can all live forever… no disease or old age… all you need is one banana, a car battery, an eagle fea (okay, those are more funny in Twitter… I will stop now)
Pouring My Art Out 
I think the recipe calls for more than 1 banana. 😀
NO! If you overdo the bananas it messes everything up… you just end up with a really nasty smoothie…
yuck… mushy banana smoothie. 😛
Exactly.
Any face I sit on is going to be a happy face 😉
Oh man… best answer ever!!!
Ha!!! Thank you for the laugh. An excellent kick off to the weekend. I especially enjoy those tweets you crafted to run out of characters at the pivotal moment. 🙂
No… I really did figure out the secret to all those things… but now I forgot them… thanks for stopping by.
*Gay people getting married doesn’t destroy the sanctity of marriage… cheating does… Excellent 😀
Loved the running out of letters ones 🙂
I never know what people are going to like… thanks.
Thanks for the Friday laughs.
Thanks for stopping by!
I don’t like peas, no chances for peas
Go with the pizza option…
okay