So my friend Hastywords has a kid named Hastykid… what are the odds of that? And you all know I would rather make a nine-year-old smile than make all of you smile by doing posts about something else. Sorry, that’s just the way it is.

Hastykid has her own blog, and it is almost as adorable as she is;

http://hastykid.wordpress.com/

If I have to spend a few hundred hours hunched over my computer doing Photoshop stuff to make a kid happy, well, I can deal with. And I hope you can too.

So, my new friend Hastykid, I hope you enjoy these silly pictures. A Kung Fu Master named Hastyfist told me that you like Kung Fu. Which is awesome… unless I heard it wrong… Maybe you like Kung Pow chicken… or King Kong… or something else, because Hastyfist’s accent is hard to understand. I went with a Kung Fu theme…

I thought being a Kung Fu tiger would be pretty cool.

You would also make a cute Kung Fu panda… but maybe you don’t want to be so chubby… And I thought that you would probably be a Kung Fu master, so…

But then I thought that maybe you didn’t want to be that short… or that cartoony… maybe you would rather be a real ninja…

Then you could do Kung Fu and have a sword too, like my friend Conan the barbarian. The truth is I got sort of tired of making you Disney Princesses…

The problem with the Disney cartoon princesses is that to match your face color with theirs, I had to sort of paint over you and you ended up looking like you were wearing 12 pounds of makeup and not looking like you anymore. And you should always look like you.

I did sort of wonder what it would be like if your parents were famous Disney characters…

But then you might have to live in a really big cage and run on a big metal wheel and drink out of a big upside-down plastic bottle… and maybe poop on the floor, which would be covered with lots of torn-up newspaper… I don’t know if that sounds fun to you or not. I guess you would get to eat a lot of cheese. I like cheese.

I am actually friends with Mickey Mouse. I met him way back in the 1970’s when I worked as an artist for the Tower Records Corporation… (ask your dad what records are… they are like giant CD’s)…That is me shaking hands with Mickey… I know, I had really long hair… I was a Hippy and I lived in Berkeley, California… (ask your mom what a hippy is… they are very nice and funny)…

So I only have one more picture for you…

There. You are a banana. I never know how long I am going to keep doing pictures of one person. I did about 50 million of your mom just to mess with her. Now I am messing with you. The problem is, if you don’t tell me what you want to be, I will just make stuff up, and every day when you get home from school and look at the pictures, you might just freak out a little…