I am very saddened to report that the Hastywords war is over… and I won. Why would winning a war make me sad, you might find yourself asking? I will try to explain.
I was looking forward to the excitement, the challenge, the thrill of the combat. And mostly I was looking forward to the fun of crushing my enemy into the ground and stomping her like a wine grape. Now she throws in the towel just as I was getting to the good part. I mean, I did like 20 posts just to kill some time and give her a chance to come up with some material. And she did, as you can see in her post that I reblogged right below this one.
And then she just comes right out and says she can’t win because I am too awesome. What kind of malarkey is that?
And she started this whole thing. Well, technically I started the face stealing idea and then she decided to beat me to the punch and did that post where she stuck my head on her body and gave me big boobs, and the war was on. I got all geared up for it. I mobilized my troops. I went on a war footing. And now it is over just like that.
It is a little like World War Two…
How, I hear you asking? Well, just like Pearl Harbor, my enemy landed one very good sneak attack. So I pounded on her for quite a while, and she got in one or two weak punches, and then I dropped a few big bombs. And that was it. I read an interesting article once that after the war ended, the American people were sort of at a loss as to what to do next. They had all been focusing on victory for so long, all working together for a common goal, that people felt sort of lost. And that is what I am feeling right now.
But you know who the real loser is? Besides Hastywords, I mean. It’s you. Because you are going to miss out on all the things I had planned to do to her face. I was just getting to the good stuff. I was going to turn her into the Incredible Hulk, and nazis and devils, and cartoon characters and who knows what else. I don’t plan this stuff ahead of time. I was even thinking of doing some of those little moving picture things I do. So if I was you, I would go to her blog;
http://hastywords.wordpress.com/
and tell her that you are disappointed in her, and that she should keep the war going. Or maybe you are sick of the whole thing and want me to move on. Or perhaps she is just lulling me into a false sense of security so she can do more pictures.
It is all good, I guess. She did give me permission to do some funny pictures of her adorable daughter, so I can keep busy with that for a while until I decide what to do next.









LOL I enjoyed this…and laughed every time I got a new one in my email. No worries I see some poetry using your face in the future 🙂
Just remember the scince fiction poem… you can put some romance in if it will help you feel more comfortable.
I kind of want to read your book first but if you want to start one and email it to me we can do one and then just do another one after. email it to hastywords@gmail.com
Oooohhhh…. I can wait… but now that I know where to go, I might just surprise you with stuff now and then…
I love surprises!!!!
Ha!
I am so glad it’s over, I was getting so tired of this war!
Point taken.
As much as I enjoyed your war, I vote for peace. Also, this feud had been distracting you from your more-important war on Dick Cheney and promotion of your book.
Good points. And thanks.
I call war the inability of humans to discuss, compromise and control their desires.
Photoshop war is all about people discussing their desire to compromise… or at least put the other person in a compromising position…
I think she’s clever!
Of course she is. I don’t go to war with weaklings. Go tell her that.
She will see it on here! lol
It doesn’t work that way.
In war, no one wins. Especially this one. But you fought well, commadante, I am glad to see that your prowess is as advertised. I kind of mean that in a dirty way, now that I think about it. Presuming I thought about it, anyway, which I probably didn’t.
I can’t talk about. I am suffering POST traumatic stress disorder… get it? Post… like a WordPress post? Oh man… I kill me…
With jokes like that, I totally believe that you are suffering from PTSD.
If you want the war to go on, go tell her.
I imagine that she has been worn down slowly during this lengthy, trying war of attrition that you have waged. I name you the better man, sir.
I can live with that.
I was quite enjoying that war… my ribs however….well…
I’ll have to message her.
She must yield to public opinion.
on it, lol