(Or); A cross between ‘Letterman’s Top Ten List’ and some ‘You Might Be A Redneck’ jokes:
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10. If your religion tells you the best way to get into heaven is to give them lots of money… It might be time to find a new religion.
9. If your religion tells you to call the priests ‘Father’… It might be time to find a new religion… (Unless he pays your way through college, takes you to the doctor when you are sick, teaches you how to ride a bike, and spends most of the money he makes on you, he ain’t your dad).
8. If the only people who get to decide what god wants you to think and do are the people who work for him… It might be time to find a new religion.
7. If your priests, the representatives of your religion, can’t keep their hands off the children entrusted to them… It might be time to find a new religion.
6. If your religion tells you that everybody who is different, or disagrees with you, or doesn’t believe everything they expect you to believe are going to burn forever in a bad place… It might be time to find a new religion.
5. If your religion tells you to put your faith in magic underpants… It might be time to find a new religion.
4. If your religion wants you to believe that natural disasters are god’s was of punishing all of us because some of us aren’t living up to his expectations… It might be time to find a new religion.
3. If you can do anything bad that you want to do and then apologize and say a few words and all will be forgiven… It might be time to get a new religion.
2. If your religion makes all your decisions for you and doesn’t want you to worry about the details or ask any questions because the church will tell you what to think and believe, and that if you follow all the rules then when the Big Guy comes down to Earth and wipes out all the bad people you and your family and friends will all live forever in a happy place… It might be time to get a new religion.
1. If your religion tells you to kill innocent people, including children, just to help you get their point across… It might be time to get a new religion.
Pouring My Art Out 
Now do a list on the best things about religions, I’ll start you off…
1) The guys in charge get to wear dresses
2) As much communion wine as you can drink, they regularly have a who barfs first contest
3) You get to always be right and have the last word (usually involves putting your fingers in your ears and shouting “Lalalala, can’t hear you”
That would be a good post. Let me climb a mountain and dwell upon it. Where are my tablets and chisels?
Probably with the tiki heads you were last carving
Dude… you know me so well.
Thank you for reminding people of the corporate nature of any church. I don’t care how holy you are, or your congregation is, if you aren’t walking around barefoot, doing miracles and saying new Beatitudes, your church is a business, and you are nothing but a shopper who chose them.
People make it the focus of their lives. But I am not judging, just asking questions.
I’m judging — hell, yes! But I was a pastor, so maybe I still have a teeny-weeny bit of RESENTMENT!!!
Oh, I got lots of resentment.
Religion is like everything people do… they mess it up. It starts off with a few good rules for making everyone get along, and before you know it… Crusades, Inquisitions and suicide bombers.
I saw Jurassic Park last night. Jeff Goldblum says, Man created God, God created dinosaurs, God killed dinosaurs, God made man, man made dinosaurs, dinosaurs killed man, man killed God — and the blond woman, whose name I don’t remember, add – and women inherit the earth. That strikes me, for some reason. Don’t say it to a Christian, though. You’d be damned for all time!
Should I Photoshop a picture of Jesus riding on a dinosaur?
That would be great!
I could get myself in hot water. And I can’t walk on water when it is hot.
Haahaahaahaahaa! Big Belly Laugh! I sense you might be as much a rascal as I! Yay!!!
Just don’t want to get ‘nailed’.
Boooooo. Bad Pun!!!
Don’t be cross with me…
Aw, c’mon now … #5 — what is wrong with putting faith in magic underpants?
Well, okay, maybe. I put my faith into what is in my magic underpants 🙂
So you don’t blindly follow some rule made up by other people… you blindly follow rules made up by your naughty bits. You are one step ahead in this game, my friend.
Heeheeheeheehee!
Steady on…
if you’re religion will let you die rather than get a blood transfusion…
Or make you let your kids die instead of getting one. Good point. I thought of others while I was typing… but it is a top ten list.
yes that’s so sad
People should pick their superstitions with greater care.
agreed
I mean there are a lot to choose from, and you can even make up your own.
uh oh, i hear another post coming on!
There is always another one on the way… but I will try to type more quietly… stealth typing.
another baby?
Another post silly.
😉
Found you through Trent, and I really liked this. Made me laugh and think–both good things.
Sometimes I make people laugh. Other times I make them think. But to do both at the same time, well I am just tickled pink.
phew…looks like I’m in the clear.
Well that opens up its own problems, but that is a post for another day… ha!
Ha 🙂
That’s what I say…
Well I bust a gut on that one. And in a shameless plug, I posted on my ideas about religion this morning if you want to check it out.
Awesome… I commented on the post.
Much appreciated.
Well said.
Thank you.
You’re welcome. I have a thing about religion. I think religion was made by men to control people. I could never have worded my feelings as logically and completely as you.
I also share your theory, and on a good day I could have done a 5,000 word post about it, but I just went for silly. Thank you.
It definitely had impact!
Thanks. I am honored.