-SALOON AT THE EDGE OF EVERYWHERE-

Chapter Fifteen

Mof told the members of Recon 2, “Let’s back off while we figure out what to do next. We can hide out in the McDonald’s for a little while.”

Mof wanted to put a little distance between them and the crazy pirates. This time he paid more attention to security, both because he had no idea how many pirates there were or where they might be, but also because he had learned his lesson the first time, and he had no intention of being caught by surprise again.

He sent Ken Bower to scout ahead, in the direction of the McDonald’s, and he himself trailed behind his team, watching their rear as they retreated temporarily. This was the direction he most expected trouble to arrive from if it came.

“Ox,” Rufus asked, “can you walk and hold on to him at the same time?” By him of course he meant their prisoner.

“Yes, Commander,” replied the Xxo. He went on helpfully, “I can also tie this wiggly piece of string up into a large knot and carry him, if you like.”

“I hope that won’t be necessary,” said the leader of Recon 1. He hefted the gun and looked into the black orbs of Winnse’s eyes. “We aren’t going to have any trouble with you, are we?” he asked meaningfully.

“No, I’m cool,” the hormone-saturated teen replied gravely.

“Good,” Rufus told him. He turned and went over to Gollum and Molly, and said to them, “Gollum, I want you to take your new friend and find Ned. Ssseeeet should be with him. You did a great job, but with that arm. I want you to try to stay away from any more trouble. Can you find them, and get Molly to where it’s safe? They won’t be in my room now, and I’m not sure where they went.”

Gollum bobbed his head. “Please do not mention this to Ssseeeet, but the trails that the Muccassim leave have a very strong and not altogether pleasant scent, at least to my kind. Even days after the trail dries up. Well, anyway, yes I can do that.”

Rufus shook hands with Molly again, and waved as the two brave little figures went out through the wrecked wall and set off carefully down Mainstreet in the direction of Rufus’s room.

Rufus returned to his place, and as he reached it, he had a thought, and said, “Professor, it’s not too late for you to catch up with Gollum and the girl.”

“No thank you, my boy,” said the Professor. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world, or any world for that matter.”

“Guess what, Winnse?” said Rufus, getting back to the main subject. “You are going to lead this little parade. I am going to put you right out in front, so you better hope your friends don’t get trigger happy.” He snapped orders at his unit, as he felt a commander ought to. “Asa, open the door, but stay out of the way. Ox, keep a grip on our prisoner, and keep him moving. If he yells, try gripping his neck a little tighter. Everybody else form up behind us and stay close. Okay people, let’s move out.” Rufus couldn’t help but feel that he sounded very commander-like indeed.

The plan worked perfectly, for all of three and a half seconds. However as soon as the door slid to the side, and Asa slid to the side as well to get out of the way, things took a sudden and unexpected turn. Unexpected primarily in the sense that no one on either side of the door was expecting there to be somebody else directly on the other side.

Ken Bower, upon seeing another stripy pirate standing just a foot away, nearly screamed. But instead he did a surprisingly brave thing, even though in the end it turned out to be not only unnecessary, but slightly counterproductive as well. Ken chose a side of his fight or flight instinct, and just went with it. He swung the knife that Rufus had loaned him in a vicious arc, point first, at the closest part of the supposed enemy. This turned out to be Winnse’s chest, right in the center of his torso. Fortunately for all concerned, the knife in question was indeed a piece of crap. The blade of the cheap reproduction of a W. W. II Marine K-Bar knife snapped right at the hilt doing no damage to the tough-skinned alien. It did however hurt the prisoner at least as much as being poked with a stick.

“Hey, watch it, will ya?” yelled the reluctant front man, at least as startled as Ken, and unable to defend himself in any way. “Are you trying to kill somebody?”

Ken had indeed been trying to kill him, but decided not to say so.

The two recon teams shook hands and compared adventures. They decided to combine themselves into one group, with Rufus in charge and Mof as his lieutenant. They would stick with Rufus’s plan to find the location of the hostages held by the bad-boy buccaneers, and try to force an exchange of prisoners, at least until they came up with a better plan.

As they formed up into a cluster to follow Ox and their less-than-willing guide, the Professor made, simultaneously, a shocking discovery and a disquieting announcement.

“Rufus,” said the Professor, “Candybar is gone.”

They all looked around in order to verify this news. Rufus had no doubt at all as to where she had gone.

“She is going to the saloon to look for the Warlord,” he said sadly. “I just hope those two Wasp Whips you ran into are not still hanging around.”

Candybar had slipped quietly out the wrecked front wall of the McDonald’s while the two teams were exchanging war stories. She was tired of waiting for the rest of them to help her find the Warlord. She was very worried about him because she wasn’t sure he would fight, even to preserve his own life. And at this point she didn’t think one less person in their little army was going to make any real difference.

She walked carefully up Mainstreet following in the wake of the Whalepede. She noticed that the walls on either side were undamaged, and once she put her mind to it, she determined that the McDonald’s had been sticking out a little farther into Mainstreet than any other section in this area due to its size. It hadn’t been noticeable to her before, but this is what had created the narrow point that had temporarily slowed the Whalepede.

The tail of this large entity, which was really more of a huge, rounded butt, had just passed beyond the Saloon at the Edge of Everywhere, so her path was clear. She went in through the swinging doors and surveyed the damage, then crossed to the door leading to the kitchen. She touched the wall and it slid aside.

The kitchen and the scullery were less of a wreck than the main saloon. There were a few signs of the rapid retreat of the customers and employees in which she had taken part, that first crazy exodus after the shootout, or shootup, to be more accurate. The kitchen was deserted as near as she could tell. Or was it?

She looked at the large metal door that led to the walk-in fridge and freezer. Maybe the Warlord had hidden in there, she thought. Being unable to fight, he would have had to find a safe place to hide.

She crossed the kitchen and put her ear to the cold metal of the door. Ned had had the door shipped up from Earth, but it attached to the Hub walls, and the cooling and freezing was all Hub technology.

With a last look around, she grabbed the handle and pulled the door open.

As Ned listened to Gollum and Molly, he became more and more anxious. So these crazy pirates were a bunch of teenage gangbangers. In Ned’s estimation this hardly made them less dangerous, just way more unpredictable.

Ned was also having second thoughts about the wisdom of putting Rufus in charge of anything, but it was too late to do anything about that.

Ned knew something that he didn’t think Rufus knew. He knew where the Hub communications room was. The comm room was used mostly for traffic control. The four or five beings who monitored the equipment, telling ship captains where to dock and making sure there were no collisions, did not have a set work schedule. Often there was only one of them in the comm room. If things got busy they might call one or two others to help out. The comm techs were also available to help inexperienced captains with their vector lines for a Nexus transit. A small miscalculation of these coordinates could put a ship way off course at the end of a long transit. This accounts for the fact that the Bats had stumbled upon the planet Earth in the first place. The Bats were notoriously sloppy with their vector lines.

Ned was aware that the comm room also had the ability to communicate with other Hubs, or any planet with decent communication facilities. This ability was not used often, but it was there. He decided to risk calling Rufus to tell him where to find the comm room. After all, now that they knew where these punks were from, maybe Rufus could get in touch with their home planet. Surely the adults would have ways of dealing with their own juvenile delinquents.

Ned was blissfully unaware that the adults of this species had already come up with a solution to their problems with obnoxious teenagers. They sent them away to annoy other people.