Now that was yet another of my patented titles that I cynically use to try to lure the unwary into my den of iniquity.
If you showed up here for the wrong reasons, shame on you, and I am still darn glad to meet you.
These are the big balls I was referring to…
They are inflatable and contain my two kids, who can now officially walk on water, thank you very much.
We went up to help Jessica move the last of her stuff, now that she is graduated and never coming home again… sniff…
That is why I disappeared yesterday during one of the most interesting days I have ever had on this blog. People were saying very nice things about me, and you know I hate to miss that.
Another weird thing about yesterday is that somehow I got 1,175 hits.
My biggest day to date was the mid 300’s.
Now I am bad at math, but 1,175 is like… twice as much as 300 and something, right?
So either everyone in the world got bored yesterday, or WordPress is running some kind of random slot machine game. Put in enough quarters and they toss you a bucket full of quarters to keep sticking back in the machine. Am I the only one who worries what these people are doing with us and to us? I hope not.
Are we all just hamsters in the big WordPress hamster balls of life?











Your kid actually moved out? Isn’t she younger than 30? Wow. That never happens anymore.
Oh…my….balls. I want that.
I know, right?
They will suffer in them balls – breathing and such.
I did wonder how long it would take to use up the oxygen, but they didn’t stay in long.
And I mean the balls that contain your children and are in the photo above, not the balls that contain any of your future children. Got it?
Oh, I should have read further. They were renting them out near the beach. They have a zipper, and they blow them up with a reverse leaf blower thing. But the walking part is not easy. Or so they say.
Where in the hell does someone get balls that big, blueberry head? And I mean the balls in the water…that contain your children.
The ones that contain my post-embryonic children, or the ones that contain my future potential children…? I am still confused…Ha!
Ah, no one can make blueberry head into a term of endearment like you, pomegranate pus. And by pus I mean the American slang word for face used in the classic old gangster movies. So don’t get your pomegranates in a pucker.
Not yet, but I look forward to that one, oh mistress Bossypants.
I love those balls. They are so fun to play with. Of course, I just watch, but they are fun to watch too.
It sounds like yesterday was a pretty good day for you. Maybe you should write all the numbers down and use them for a lottery ticket. They seem lucky to me.
I bet we could cram your chair inside one of those balls, and you could zip around inside like those circus guys who ride the motorcycles inside the big round cage balls. I would freekin’ pay to see that.
I bet I could win america’s got talent with that act. Especially if we strapped a jet pack on to it.
I don’t want you to get hurt. You already fall out of the chair. Besides, that would melt the ball, and bet the chair is not equipped with flotation devices.
Good point. I don’t fall out of the chair, I fall when out of the chair. 😉
You said you fell into the closet going around a corner or something? Or did I just fantasize that?
No fantasy. I have to get out of the wheelchair to go in the closet or the restroom. So, when I am in those rooms I am at a high risk for falls because I am not in the chair.
I swear I am going insane. I remember a very early post where you said you fell out onto some towels in a closet before… never mind.
I probably did. I fall alot in those rooms.
OK, glad we got that settled. You don’t need anybody’s pity. We just worry, and don’t want you to get hurt. Except for Ed. He thinks it is hilarious when you go rump over teakettle, as he calls it.
rump over a teakettle? Never heard that one before. He also threatens to pop my wheelchair tires. It is a good thing I am a masochist.
it is really A#@ over teakettle, but I cleaned it up, cause you are now in the clean room, right? And is this blog going to die off or not?
I thought it already had died off. I hardly go to the clean places anymore.
I am still reading the young, virginal you… you know, before you got all jaded and sordid and adult….
Sheesh, all my life the people around me grow up. What is up with that?
It’s a sad world.
Oh, we all remember you, so innocent, so naive, so fresh-faced and ready to take on the world. Now you are like a homicide detective, gruff and cynical, inured to the carnage around her, expecting to never be surprised by the cruelty humans do upon each other. Oh, I weep for your lost innocence.
That is the sweetest thing I think anyone has ever said to me. Will you see to it they inscribe that on my tombstone?
I will make sure that words describing your loss of innocence are thusly inscribed. But hopefully you will outlive me by quite a bit. So start thinking of some suitable tribute for my untimely demise. And don’t let Ed add any of his own words… not after what I did to him when he died.
He’ll be nice. He likes you. But I’m actually not planning on living too long. Hopefully until my kids grow up and I’ve pissed off all the people I care about. 😉
You are half way there… ha.
Yep
Hey! I see what you mean… I just go in here and reply to the comments directly. This makes much more sense. Until I get comments from other posts, or I figure out a new way to be confused… which I will…
Just ignore any new comments until you reach whatever post they are commenting on. You said you went through your blog the other day, just reading comments. That is what I would do today.
Now you are just being bossy. As opposed to the time you told me to ‘roll over’… But good, I needs me someone to do my thinkin’ for me. god bless you.
You read my post where I said I uses to want to be a dominatrix right?
Now them are some Big Balls! Bet you had fun playing with your big balls too! 😉
If you think about it, seeing your kids inside a big pair of balls is sort of a funny metaphor for the whole genetics thing.
Like they came full circle….LOLLLLL
Did you add an extra dirty pun in there on purpose, cause that is awesome.
Oh yea….glad you got it! 😉
Twice as much as 300. That’s EXACTLY RIGH!T! And I thought you were just good lookin’. Walk on water? Funny. Don’t we all feel that way about our kids? I’ll have to get my son one of them there balls. Just sayin’.
Then you can say it it will be true.
Dear pmao,
Can you feel the love?
Can you feel it?
Can you feel it?
Can you feeeeeeeeeel it?
Love Dotty xxx
I do feel it, like warm sausage drippings, coursing down my back.
Thanks for all the fish
so long…
Hooray for all those hits.
See, you now have such a reputation that I always assume there is sarcasm in your remarks. Maybe you are as misunderstood as Conan.
Well, in all fairness he had a terrible accent.
It’s not a toomah!
I’ll be Bach!