I love the TV show ‘Cops’. They have special episodes where they just show crazy naked guys getting arrested. Now, you have to figure that if they have caught naked crazy guys being arrested on film that many times just in the relatively few cop cars that are carrying around a camera crew for a show, that it must happen fairly regularly. Like, hundreds if not thousands of naked guys get arrested around the world every year… who knows… maybe hundreds of thousands…
Now, I can honestly say that, even though I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area, and I was a teenager there during the crazy 70’s… that I have never in all my life, even back in my wildly rebellious days… been arrested… while naked… (No, I am not going to start doing posts about those days, or my firsthand interactions with the police, because this isn’t that kind of blog… which is a shame… because I have a lot of really interesting stories… and photos…)
But here are a few reasons why you should watch ‘Cops’… especially if you plan on going into a career as a criminal:
If you are one of those young guys who wear your pants down below your ass, then you have to decide between a life of fashion and a life of crime. Trust me, wearing your pants this way greatly decreases the odds that you can outrun a cop, let alone a police dog.(Also, just so you know, this look is not cool. Someday you will regret this look, just like your parents still get teased about some of the things they wore when they were that age. There are only two reasons that could account for this look. Either a kid went out of his house looking like that because he was so busy having a real life that he didn’t even notice that he was ‘sagging’, or some kid who grew up in a ghetto and couldn’t afford a belt went out of his house that way because he didn’t have a choice. Either way, that first kid was, indeed, cool. Copying him does not make you cool).
The other lesson you, as a potential criminal, should take note of, is this… agree on a plausible story before you get pulled over with a trunk full of illegal drugs. Because, the first thing the cops do, if there are two of you in the car, is separate you and then ask you where you are going and why you are going there. And if you say you are going to Florida to visit your aunt, and the other idiot says you are going to Disneyworld… guess what… that makes cops suspicious. I have to admit, it always makes me laugh when two guys were sitting in a car together for days, driving across the country with a few hundred pounds of whatever just a few feet behind them, and it never occurred to them to agree to tell the cops that they were on their way to visit aunt Mildred in Boca Raton should they get pulled over. I mean, seriously, what the hell were they talking about for all that time?