While we were visiting Jessica in Arizona, she was teasing me once again about how I used to have a mullet. I keep insisting that I had long hair, but it was not a mullet. Hey, I grew up in Berkeley. I know about long hair.
So she took a picture of my actual drivers license photo… the one you see above… yes, I haven’t changed it in quite a while… and posted it on Facebook. The general consensus is that I did have a mullet… at least at the time this picture was taken. The only good news to come out of this Facebook thing is that one of Jessica’s girl friends said that my picture makes me look a little like the actor Paul Rudd…
The disturbing part of that is that it turns out my daughter thinks Paul Rudd is one of the sexiest men on the planet… so… uh… anyway…
My theory is this: Yes, it was a little shorter in the front, tapering back to the longer hair, but the sides were not cut short enough or far enough back to classify as a mullet. At the very worst I had bad bangs that were too long.
Back in the 70’s and early 80’s, when my hair hung down to my butt, I had the full-on rock and roll hair…
You have all seen this picture by now… it isn’t even close to the longest my hair ever got… it is also the proof that I invented the ‘wardrobe malfunction’… but you can plainly see that my hair… aside from having the delightful ‘feathered’ look that was popular in those days… was still a little bit shorter in the front… you know… so I could see and not look like a sheep dog, or have to keep doing that annoying head-flipping thing to get the hair out of my eyes.
So come on, people… let’s get this settled once and for all… did I have a mullet or not?
Be honest… if you come down on the mullet side I promise to only hate you for a little while…
Pouring My Art Out 
You are…uhh errr…he is pretty hot.
I like you
If it looks like a mullet, sounds like a mullet – then it’s a mullet!
sppppttttt
Not sure what made me decide to stick my head in here. Looking at your picture, I can see why people might be mislead into believing this is a mullet. Heck! I was fooled myself, at first. However, upon closer inspection, I see that this is just how your hair lies on your head when it’s long. The way your hair falls in front makes it look short and feathered. The way you have it pulled back behind your ears makes the sides look short, too.
It’s a case of mistaken mullet! SAVE US, GOD!
Love you, Art.
Thanks, thanks, and me too…
You’re welcome.
yay
Oh I am am I
It takes a big woman to admit she quite liked mullets when they were “in”. I am not a big woman therefore admitting it makes me big. Nope. your doo was not a mullet. The top is too long!
yay… and phew
I’m siding with those that specify a mullet needs to be short on the sides. I mean, seriously. I was born in 1974, and I think I’m old enough to remember distinctly what was a mullet, and what was just hippie and rocker hair.
“Business in the front, party in the back.” Oddly enough, I don’t actually remember that slogan, but it really does describe the strange mixture of conservatism, excess, and a little bit of ’50s nostalgia that was the very late ’70s and much of the ’80s. That much I *do* remember and only the classic horrifying version of the mullet fits this: buzzcut front and sides, maybe with a flat top, with long strands in the back. That’s usually the version people think of on backwater rednecked hillbilly types (who apparently missed the fashion memos up to today). And even the horrible “updated” versions have hair on the sides slicked back… which you do not.
Could be worse, though, Art. You could be admitting to having a poodle cut back in the day.
I was born in 1960… I saw all the crazy hair years.
Understood. What think you of the beehive hairdo, then?
not a fan
Nope, not a mullet. The definition when I was a young fella was that it was “business in the front, party out the back”…your’s is all party Art.
I knew it…
The hair definitely looks like what we always called a “shag”, not a mullet.
whee…
“The mullet is a hairstyle that is short at the front and sides, and long in the back.” wikipedia.
Not a mullet.
Shag. but a long shag, not a short shag.
I am winning!!!
Not a mullet.
yay… and I love you, man…
Same, Dude.
yay even more
It’s not a mullet.
yay
As a professional hair stylist. It is not a full blown mullet. The top would need to be short and spiked for it to be considered a full blown mullet. It so pained me when I had a client ask for a real mullet and I had on that did..lol
We are split right down the middle on this one…
ha
yeah
For the hell of it, I called a professional stylist at a monster hair salon chain and described your photo in detail. Verdict?
MULLET!
Deal with it, dude. Chalk it up to youthful indiscretion and keep that back short from now on. Or live in Guns ‘N Roses T-shirts with the arms ripped off until you croak.
Black Bad Company t-shirts… thank you very much…
…Bud Light pit stains cradling your biceps, the sent of Doritos and Slim Jims wafting from the belly button region….
Nobody drank Bud Light back in the day…
A professional stylist at a “monster” hair salon chain isn’t exactly what I’d consider an qualified expert on fashion and style. As much as Wikipedia is pooh-poohed, I’d rather rely on its collective knowledge than a random tradesperson whose credentials I cannot verify.
Plus again, I was very much around and aware during the ’80s. It’s a long shag… it’s not a mullet… and that’s saying a TON because I’m not generally a fan of long hair on dudes, and I am firmly convinced the mullet will ALWAYS be bad, regardless of “updates” or “modifications”. Art doesn’t have a mullet.
Mullet.
Cool, thanks for the update, bro.
You’re welcome. And not a bro.
Sure, man, whatever.
please, can’t we all just get along?
Sure, Anna, whatever. You know what the Pacific Northwest weather is like right about now. Couple that with nerve damage and a shot pain threshhold. Agony, y’know? Not in the mood to argue, so, whatever floats your boat.
Wow. That sure is a lot of sympathy mongering–you might want to pace yourself, save some for the next time you need an out.
Or, you know, you could just stop typing. It’s easy, watch….
Well then, you really are an asshole then, and I can’t be bothered to read anything you have to say past this point.
Seriously, fuck you.
really? we come to this over a mullet question?
Sorry Art. My buttons were sticking out, and she just came right up and pushed them. I’m still working on sucking them back in.
I don’t think she meant it that way
You describe yourself as “upbeat and bubbly” on your blog, but you come over here and bully Art, then me.
That’s two-faced.
I don’t know who you are, or where you came from, but presenting yourself the way you do on your own space, then coming over here, practically out of nowhere, all pushy-like… that’s cowardly aggression.
Most of the WordPress regulars around here; they’re aware of my health issues already, because I’m pretty open about it. Some of them are in the same boat. So what? It’s pretty craven for you to make accusations when you really do not know me at all.
Again… I responded to you because I thought you were bullying him. Your responses so far reinforce that because you decided to bully me. But I’m not easily cowed, sister. You picked on the wrong guy today.
I never felt bullied, just so you know… I thought it was all in good fun… and if I did feel annoyed, I have many clever ways to get my point across… so please let’s let this go… that being said, I love that you felt like you were standing up for me. But I think this is a silly difference of opinion and nothing more.
It’s harder for me, Art, partly because I’m dealing with cPTSD and it is much easier for me to slide out on the edge to crisis/trauma mode. So, truly, you’ve seen one of my inner demons now. I can’t promise 100% it will never happen again, but I am working on this issue and will do my best.
Y’know. It’s one of my fatal flaws and all. Someone gets jerky, my claws come out and I defend myself whether I honestly need defending or not.
I just don’t want people to think my blog isn’t the friendliest place on earth… selfish, I know.
I don’t think it’s selfish.
Not that I haven’t gone off on a few people…
I’m just learning to anticipate my triggers, Art. The saying may be “take it like water off a duck’s back”… best I can do is shake off the water like a dog. Of course I have to get better at warning people before I start shaking…
You gotta pick your battles.
I know. Believe me, I know. There’s still work to do.
That makes you a good man.
Thank you. That really made my day. Today has been better, but yesterday was pretty dark and difficult.
The hard part will be remembering that other people do not know you are having a bad day.
It was that “sympathy mongering” barb that set the trigger. I won’t stand for anyone making a comment like that, Art, I just won’t.
It had already gotten pretty heated. I think the point she was making is that if you are going to war with someone, listing medical conditions might seem like you were using guilt as a weapon or an excuse. I’m not saying I took it that way.
I had hoped that it would give me an out, but I guess I’ll have to make it more generic next time, and a lot earlier.
The pain has been pretty intense lately, on a number of fronts.
You can’t forget that other people do not know you are in pain. And do you really want people to treat you differently?
*sigh* Never mind, Art… if they don’t read what I have to say at my own blog, yes, of course, they have no idea.
Really, never mind.
ok
Hey… I do the sarcasm around here… HA…?
Hey, I just want you to know that I am sorry my silly mullet question led to this. I knew you were being silly, and after reading the rest of the comments coming up, I just want you to know that I am not happy with you being sworn at. This whole thing got a little out of hand. I am sorry it happened.
it’s all groovy
is this how wars start?
ha
we got us a hair war…
I don’t want a mullet… but I don’t have the long hair now either way
Is it just right now, then? 😉
It could come back
The mustache makes it look like a mullet.
that must be it…
It is a modified mullett. While the sides are considerably shorter than the back, the sides aren’t short enough for a mullett. I would call this more of a “shag” haircut like Carol Brady wore in the later years of the Brady Bunch. 🙂
that might hurt more than a mullet answer… but at least I can say I am right… so… uh… thanks?
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it’s a duck.
If it looks like a mullet, walks like a mullet, feathers like a mullet, it’s a mullet.
Dude, you got a mullet.
Sorry.
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Tweak the outfit a little, and you could have been a member of Bay City Rollers!
you take that back…
Hey, it’s not like I said you had to wear a kilt.
It is worse…
I would not class this as a mullet, it is too long at the sides to qualify. Some photoshopped mullets would be nice though
Yay… and maybe
Just for comparisons, and the laughs, You can give everyone mullets
I just might
I like planting ideas, just drug the crack squirrels so I can pop my own ideas in there 😀
uh… they are already drugged…
Sleepy drugs
oh
I sent that last night on my phone but it said it didn’t go through.
it might have
Chloroform maybe
If you think it will help
Will be hard, your crack squirrels have ninja skills so gonna be hard to creep up on them
It is getting inside my head that sucks…
I’m not a fan of rollercoasters, I get dizzy, I imagine it’s a bit like that
It is a lot like that… but more colors… like crayons in a blender…
😀
sigh