And I may have reposted it at least once already.
Because it is that good.
Just read it and see if you can figure out what is happening before you get to the end.
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Dear Sirrah,
Still no appetite for thy heinous concoction doth my tongue construe to desire.
Neither hither nor yon would’st such tinted and perhaps tainted fare present itself less foully to my palate.
I dislike the notion of consuming such victuals even within mine own dwelling, whereas being attended by a rodent during the course of such a repast seems ill-bethought.
Likewise did the fox seem poorly put upon when I did but seek to inquire if he would care to join me in a supper of such surpassingly unusual colour. And as for my retiring to the confinement of a box of suitable size to permit, whilst I did find the quietude fortuitous to composing verse, methinks it did but little to render my dislike of the plate placed before me into a true liking.
Forsooth, I am far beyond the age where dining on a tree branch seems practicable.
I knoweth not of this ‘train’ of which thou spake, but I doth contend that verily, no such conveyance of the future would do more to commend such a dastardly meal to mine stomach than any of thine other recommendations, and as for supping in inclement weather, would’st thou indeed have me catch my death of consumption in such a manner?
Nor would’st consuming them upon the oaken deck of yon sturdy boat enhance the virtues of said ghastly repast. And whilst questioning thy advice to devour them in the presence of a barnyard animal, their taste would be to me no more appealing were said goat well nigh at hand.
In short, my good Sir Samuel, I still but belikest me little of thy offering of eggs and ham the colour of foliage. Nor does the prospect of swallowing any foodstuffs that do take on such hues as might be seen amongst the hills and vales of Ireland suite my fancy. Green, I bethink me, ’tis a far more becoming colour than it is a flavour.
Therefore I sadly restate my refusal to partake of thee thy kindly rendered invitation to sup with thee on this particular dish.
Though I take thee at thy word that the verdant overtones of this repast is due not to rot nor rancidness, still do I pray of thee, tempt me not further upon this course. I liketh me not this breaking of my fast with eggs and ham whose visage is thus despoiled.
your obedient servant, W. Shakespeare.
year of our Lord, 1602
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So there you have it. Quite simple, really. All I ask of you is to be able to imagine an alternate reality where Dr. Seuss’ lovable yet pushy Sam I Am is running around trying to coax real people into trying green eggs and ham, and he just happens to run into a famous playwright. Obviously I could have done the whole thing as a sonnet instead of a simple reply letter, but there are copyright laws to consider. Besides, it was already done in verse in the original.
Or maybe, just maybe, I will revisit this project some day.
Once again, welcome to my world…
Pouring My Art Out 
I wonder… couldn’t the playwright just have said ‘thank thee, but no thank thee’. brevity has always been a valued commodity. besides it makes no difference to the cat. he would have realized that the playwright was not interested, and crept away long before the narrative ended. This is a very smart cat we are talking about. But then again, You are writing about something that never happened, to a cat that never was, so…..oh well better a witty fool than a foolish wit.(I jest, tis’ most splendid)
Um… well… Writers never use 1 word where a thousand will do. And I think he was talking to Sam I Am, who is something of a notorious pest and never took no for an answer. Also, people just wrote longer letters in those days. It was the style.
Hmm. I’m don’t remember that far back. Thanks for the update. 😀
I hope I didn’t come across like a pompous know-it-all…
Oh you mean there is another side to you too? 😀
You got me there… sigh…
BTW, please don’t let my good natured ribbing get in the way of you checking out my blog.
It is time that does that, not the ribbing…
You mean time gets in the way checking out the blog??? Let me get figure this out. It’ll take a while. I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed. 😀
Don’t try to turn my words back around on me, dag nab it.
Any way I don’t think you know enough to qualify. (*really wide smile*)
I am a self-deluded know-it-all… sweet… that is the best kind.
He doesn’t want taint on his tongue… can you blame him?
Tainted and taint ain’t the same thing, although I guess most taint is tainted to a degree…
See… I’m right!
A bunch of your comments ended up in the spam again… this happens if you do too many…
Fine. I’ll stop commenting so much.
That isn’t me saying that. It is WordPress. It has happened to me and a few other people I know. It confuses the little robots.
I know it’s not you… sorry 😥
Did the doc give you the wrong colors???
Even better… I didn’t even get to see my dr… just a bitchy nurse who screwed up my prescription that took forever to fix and now I have to go back in 2 weeks for more tests. And some other stuff.
You need a project… and a laugh… after I pick up Mollie, I am going to do a post and you can help me come up with ideas for a flag for my blog. Maybe I will make you a flag too.
Okay that sounds nice. A flag for our blogs? So… we’re going to be flogging then…
When you join my pirate crew, you are going to get flogged…
Did you really just say that or am I hallucinating? ??
Maybe both. You know flogging in those days was not a fun thing…
Again. You should read the last post I wrote…
I just did.
I really don’t remember what all I wrote now! Haha! But I remember talking about how I feel like I deserve pain and to be punished. Sometimes it’s the only way I can feel anything at all.
In a weird way I can see how thinking you deserve pain can make it easier to del with…
Actually at the time it helps, but it’s never enough. It’s like a really messed up addiction. One fix is never enough.
It will take radical steps to change that.
You’re absolutely correct
I almost always am.
Or are you upset about the Jonas Brothers cancelling their concert tour over creative differences?
I had no idea! And I’ve only heard of them because I have teenage daughter
Me too… it was just a guess…
Haha
Indeed.
Or is the Obamacare website thing?
Obama… don’t get me started on him and his cronies. Obamacare. What a crock. He doesn’t cate! Should’ve named it ObamaWantsToMakeMeDieASlowPainfulDeath
You know a lot of people will be better off, once it actually works.
I’m starting a revolution.
I already did that.
Well… yours isn’t working apparently…
They never do… that is what I am trying to tell you.
I’m seeing things going on… I’ve started to really pay attention. What I see happening horrifies me 😦
Revolutions just put other idiots in charge… and people die doing them.
I know… I know. But I can see it happening.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
I won’t
good
People are dying for our country all the time… wouldn’t it make sense for them to be fighting… ugh this convo is going to have to wait. I can’t think clearly enough to discuss something so serious right now. But it will continue. I have lots of valid points I promise.
Valid points about a revolution… can’t wait to hear it.
Yes. I can’t wait to tell it
You have to get people who are willing to die… and kill… for starters.
You’d be surprised how many of them there really are.
Are they the people you want helping you to run things if you win?
One thing is for sure… it can’t be any worse than the way things will be if nobody does anything at all…
That’s what they said in Cuba before Castro… and Russia before Stalin, and France before Napoleon and Germany before Hitler… I could go on.
America is just about the only place where a revolution ever made things better, but that was after 5 horrible years of bloodshed.