As you know, I am just about ready to publish my first children’s book. There is a story about how this book came about. It is based on the answers given to me by kids when I tell them that I like monkeys. I have been compiling these answers for years, and decided to share the best of them with some original paintings to go with them.
My older daughter is coming to visit next month and she is going to help me get it ready to publish. I wanted to stick this story about how the book came about at the end of the book so parents would have something to read too. She says it is too long and doesn’t work in a kid’s book. So I am going to share it with you to get your opinion.
————-
I Like Monkeys
The origins of a children’s book
For the past 20 some odd years I have been, unbeknownst to myself, involved in a sociological research study. A psychological, observational evaluation of how modern society molds the minds of our children and turns our youngest members, over the course of years, into those much less interesting entities known as adults.
I have always been fascinated by children. I love kids. I relate to them. This point was brought forcefully home to me when Jessica, my eldest daughter, was still very young. Her preschool took a class field trip to Sea World. We have gone to Sea World lots of times over the years, although I have very mixed feelings about the place. But as a stay at home dad, I volunteered to help. We got there early, before the park was open to the public, and they escorted us all to the dolphin tank. I have always loved these adorable creatures, and there is something about seeing them in captivity that sets my teeth on edge. They don’t look unhappy, but with those cute smiles and tendency to frolic, how could you tell? The tank is not very big, about the size of an Olympic swimming pool, I guess. They want the dolphins to never be too far from the guests, who lure them over with fish you buy from a vendor. The pool has rocks and plants, and clear plastic walls that curve slightly over the tank. You can crouch down and see them right through the walls when they are under the water.
During the later parts of the day, the dolphins get a little tired of all the screaming tourists trying to pet them, and just sort of circle the center of the pool once they have had their fill of fish. But in the morning, still hungry and full of energy, they were going wild. It was something to see. It was amazing. There were perhaps ten dolphins in this little pool, just playing like a pack of puppies, leaping and chasing each other around. Some just swam in circles as fast as they could go, and that is pretty darn fast. They were just enjoying being alive… like kids do.
I had a brief moment of stupidity. I wanted to share the moment with someone who had an adult’s vocabulary, so I could verbalize the joy I was feeling, and my sorrow that the dolphins had to be confined for our enjoyment. So I glanced around to see what the other parents were doing. Now, don’t get me wrong. I liked some of these people, and they were just fine as parents, for the most part. They were here with their kids on a field trip. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised to see them all chatting and sipping their Starbuck’s coffee, or talking on their cell phones. Not one adult was even looking at the dolphins… or their own kids watching the dolphins. They all had adult things on their minds.
And I admit, I got a little angry. Humans had gone out in boats and captured these beautiful, wild animals, then stuck them in a freekin’ fishbowl for our entertainment, and these ‘adults’ couldn’t even be bothered to pay them any attention. ‘Oh, I’ve seen dolphins before’, seemed to about sum up their level of interest.
Then, from where I was crouched on one knee by the wall of the tank, I cast a glance to either side of me. There were all the kids, each and every one with hands and face pressed against the plastic, eyes wide in joy, just to see these animals playing. They knew about playing. They knew about just letting go and feeling the moment. They knew about racing to nowhere in particular to feel free. They knew about life.
It dawned on me that adults, with all the words in the world, had nothing to say to me that I needed or wanted to hear. And I had nothing to say to them that wouldn’t sound just a little angry at that point.
And I realized, although I had always known it deep down, that at that moment, I was with my people.
My experiment into the slow slide from open-minded wonder into the eventual perhaps productive but much less amusing adulthood began as a simple conversational gambit. As previously stated, I have always liked kids. Even before I had my own kids I found that I related to any child that I met on an instinctual level. Kids are just fun to talk to. Everything is a miracle to children. And babies… don’t get me started on babies. Over the years I have developed a repertoire of funny sounds and gestures and tricks just to get a laugh out of any new little friend that I might meet.
I always start by shaking hands in a rather vigorous manner and saying, “Arthur Browne, darn glad to meet you.” Younger children and even babies particularly enjoy this, and have been known to stick their hands out 40 or 50 times with no sign of getting bored. And almost always, the next time I see them, they stick their hands out in anticipation that I will once again shake it 40 or 50 times or more if required. And you know what? I always do. This willingness is taken for granted by children, they not being aware that most adults would find this tedious. Fortunately I have not yet succumbed to the ravages of adulthood, even though I am over 50 years of age.
Somewhere along the line I developed the habit, randomly and for no apparent reason, of saying to kids the following:
“I like monkeys.”
I never planned it or threw it in during any particular part of the conversation. I just liked it because it was silly, and I enjoyed saying it with a very serious tone of voice and a solemn look on my face as though it were important and relevant information. Inside I was giggling to myself, and in my semi-adult conceit I was thinking, ‘Ha, you weren’t expecting that, were you?’
But I began to notice a very strange thing. It is not so easy to throw the average child off stride. Random changes of direction do not faze them because that is how their minds work. Now granted, some kids will just nod in agreement, equally as serious as I pretend to be, as though I had just stated an obvious but still pertinent truth. I mean really, who doesn’t like monkeys? But more often than not, without batting an eye, and with absolutely no time given to mull the subject over, they come back with counterstatements that rock my quasi-grownup world view to the core. And I am forced once again to concede the fact that children are an awesome force of nature, and we should stop ruining them by turning them into non children.
As an example I will now cite on of my favorite philosophical displays of the child thought process. This one made it into the book. The conversation took place with a girl in my younger daughter’s preschool class.
Me: “I like monkeys.”
Her: “Oooh, what about space monkeys?”
Me: “Wait, you mean monkeys from outer space, like green alien monkeys, or monkeys that work for NASA?”
I had already lost all control of that conversation. I was out of my league. In one sentence, with no time to overanalyze my comment, she had so confounded the adult portion of my brain that I felt I need time to regroup. I needed a do-over. Or an adult beverage. Why are we actively attempting to force children to paint inside the lines until that quality of insight and imagination is sublimated and atrophied and stagnated? I believe we do a disservice to ourselves and an injustice to the children.
Over the last few years, in an effort at fairness, I have begun to tell adults with whom I have been thrown into conversation, that I like monkeys. Most often, this comment is ignored. Sometimes the adult recipient of this information will look put out or even slightly nervous about my mental state, even though many of them are people I have known for some time and I do have something of a reputation for being somewhat offbeat. Once in a while I get a tacit agreement, usually with a slightly condescending overtone that yes, monkeys are okay. But for the most part, grownups just want that part of the conversation to quickly pass and be forgotten.
And yet not once, when encountering the knowledge that I like monkeys, has a child glanced at their watch or looked around the room as though they had a more important conversation waiting for them somewhere else.
These are my people.
Let’s try not to mess them up.
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I agree with Jessica, it’s a bit long for a children’s book, but I love the story.
Your kids are your audience, you don’t need to satisfy or explain your reasoning to the adults. You can save the story for your interviews!
That is brilliant!
I can just imagine you on The Letterman show or some sub-par equivalent in the UK discussing your book and exchanging anecdotes.
Graham Norton!!!
I’ll have a show by then, you’re welcome on it.
Yay!!!
Do you want an interview on Twitter at #ArtistChat? One Saturday at 10.30am EST? Could be good publicity for your book. Just let Sharon know @Artist_Chat
How do I get hold of her? I am a computer moron.
Looks like you already have got hold of her Uncle Art!
She has your tweets…
Just tweet her @Artist_Chat and ask for an interview time. It would be so funny if both you and Trenton got on and were interviewed together. I would stay up till 2.30am specially for the experience. (10.30am EST that is)
What form does this interview take?
For it went like this:
Hi I’m here – it’s 2.30am Sun in NZ for the Saturday 10.30am EST #ArtistChat
Hi – would you be our impromptu guest artist for today’s interview?
Er.. yes ok.. what does it entail?
I will ask you some questions about your art.
Ok – what sort of questions?
Things like how did you get into art, what inspires you etc.
And that’s pretty well it Uncle Art. I’m sure Sharon would have some open-ended questions which would work best for you as an author and poet and artist/illustrator, and all-round creative guy.
It’s all very new. 🙂
So it happens right in Twitter?
Yep – you got it. 🙂
ok
I don’t understand what Artist Chat is saying to me. It is more like they are making fun of me than anything else.
Oh no… Sharon does an interview on #ArtistChat once a week. I am probably being a pain tweeting all over the place. Maybe quietly email her for an interview. Sorry if I am just being offputting. I hope you don’t really think anyone is making fun of you. I think you are great, and oh my goodness I need to read your book! I got distracted!
If she was reading those, I don’t have much hope…
Oh dear… you could always ask her to delete your tweets… that ‘please’ of yours is a killer..!
I don’t mind looking like an idiot… I’m used to it.
Ahh.. the family friendly post, complete with monkeys, I feel so at home, Mr definitely old enough to be my Uncle Art.
I’m right there with you… my nose pressed on the glass fish bowl, and the aeroplane window, and running down the up escalator… err.. did I say that out loud? I got told, “I thought children did that…” with the emphasis on “you are so childish running down the up escalator.”
I said as loud as I could with my happiest grin, “I NEVER GREW UP!”
And looked for the nearest down escalator to ascend… and decided against it as my son appeared to need reinforcements against the beelining “escalator-correctness” parade… alas, he took the rap for the rest of us… Thankfully he had already had his fun first by leading the way… Such a thrilllling adventure… I recommend it to all the young at ‘art, except if you are prone to falling over (sorry Trenton, you miss out…) (unless you’ve been eating your bacon and eggs…)
What was that about monkeys? It gets a bit embarassing I suppose, for those who believe that somewhere down the line, their mother was a monkey. Bit of a turn-off during dinner conversation. What was their father thinking?? I am glad to know that all my mothers were human, right back to Eve.
I digress… I love your art, Art. Wonderful book cover. Nice to see the process. LOOVE the explanation for parents. It really is for the children, who will understand it perfectly well, and may need to know that at least one adult can see it too. Very reassuring. At age four I could have read that… slowly. Do it for the children Art. (It will of course need to be cleverly disguised as something that is for the parents… the ones described will likely stop reading at around the first mention of Sea World. And that’s fine, because that’s where the children will read on… and that’s cool.)
PS… there is a child in each of us. I saw that in the grins and that “my feet are itching to step on to the escalator too” look from the adults who realised that I really was doing what they thought was “only for children.”
It’s like people are worried that they might look immature.
Hahaha! What me worry? 😀
(Go on… Just Do It!)
hee hee
Too many people think that “growing up” is something so serious… that they lose what life is about.
You are sort of preaching to the choir here.
I like this choir…
Maybe I need to do a shorter edited version.
Go on then, I will read the shorter version too 🙂 And the medium version. And what about the tweet 140 character version too? 😉
What about the Shakespearean English version, or turning it into a play.
Yesss… now you’re talkin’ !! 8D
Everyone should see and laugh heartily at someone falling over going the wrong way on an escalator once in their life…if I can provide that service…then so be it.
Love the explanation Mr Browne; an edited version is needed but no harm in keeping it.
Can I sell you some protective headgear before you depart? And readers of Arthur’s words will not need such precautions – I have read the first page of Saloon at the Edge of Everywhere and I am certainly not disappointed. How could he be even better between the covers of a novel, than he is out in the open here on his blog? Is this what you’ve been trying to tell us all along Mr Babbage?
What one sees in any situation is most often a projection of one’s own mind rather than a salient fact viewed by all as the same thing, ergo, what I tell you is what you hear, and yes to the headgear please.
I am going to put on shoulder pads and a cup if you are going to use big words.
I could do with those for my falling over.
Now I need to add ‘protection recommended when using this blog’ to my legal disclaimer?
No; just ‘enter at your own risk’ should cover everything.
With the skull and cross bones…
Ergo, what you tell me goes in one ear and out the other with perforations… Headgear as requested…http://wildersoul.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/brick-hat.png
ouch
Well thank you ever so much! My problem as we know is falling over; would it be possible to pay a little extra for a strap? I wouldn’t want my headgear falling off before I hit the ground…
Oh, you noticed that did you? A good bit of strapping coming right up…
He is a strapping young fellow.
I didn’t realise… oh! Yes, that’s right… the Tom Cruise LookAlike video showed all!
It was just a bad pun… really…
I liked it, dear costumer customer…
We have a customer relationship…
Really? Did you just buy my book?
You wrote a book???
Ye.. er, no, I *drew* a book!
See?
Well, I have a theory. The hardest part of painting is doing the sketch. So it is nice of you to provide those for people. I might actually get your book… as soon as I have any money… because I sometimes paint in these civil war coloring books just to relax.
Hmm.. I haven’t done any civil war pics…
I like thinking of you relaxing and painting.
Feel free to think of me any way you like!
I am bit of a free thinker…
Me too… although if I could figure out how to charge people for it…
Yep. I’ll buy that secret off you if you find it first. 😉
Deal.
I can’t stop thinking about how to be a paid thinker instead of a free thinker! Now how much is that secret going to cost me? Negotiations must be made…
I wrote four novels… I have made about 100 dollars… you want advice from me?
Hee hee… yep… I have published two colouring books, and have made about $12! So, yes… My turnover would increase by about ten times… o.O Woohooo!
mmm… turnovers…
Apple or apricot? Hmm.. real cream or mock?
Cherry…
Yum.. haven’t seen them ’round these parts…
shame
Urgent delivery of 1 x Strap to Mr T Babbage of TBE ltd ppl & Co.

Now that is costumer service.
HA!
Exactly.
By the way, I am up to chapter two! (Of your e-book… you know… at the Edge of Everywhere…)
I wrote a book???
So it says on the cover.. Are you A.H. Browne?
I try to be…
Tough job! You are doing well! 🙂 I love your book so far. You are an even better writer in your book , than you are on your blog… (and on everyone else’s blogs…) Although, I haven’t yet got to the tug o’ war, so I better not get too excited yet…
My posts take a few minutes… the books took four years… so far…
That explains it. Did you have a ‘day job’ for those four years, Uncle Art?
Part of it… I was a custodian at a church… hence my alter ego’s job on the Hub.
Noo.. really? Do they talk about monkeys there? What is a custodian, and what is the Hub?
A custodian is a janitor and handyman… the Hub is the big space station the other me lives on.
Ta.. I am now totally informed 🙂 The religious people I used to mix with were all janitors and handymen, nobody missed out on cleaning the toilet there. 🙂 And no-one was paid to do it. 😉 I might have to adjust my goals with regards to writing/drawing a book.. and look for some other bread-n-butter work to do in the meantime.
I am not getting rich here…
Me neither. Wouldn’t mind simply making a living though. That would make me happy. You too?
Sure… but I want to be known the world over.
Ahhh… that’s what it’s all about. You are quite well-known in this neck of the woods in New Zealand, now! 🙂 I’m not so big on fame, personally.
I don’t want fame so much as to have everyone hear what I have to say.
Hence the audio blog? What happened, really, about the audio blog? And all the tapes? Are you selling an audio blog? Or an audio book? I suspect your stories would sound even better if you told them out loud… where’s that fireplace…
I can no longer tell which of us you are talking to… and I suspect you can’t either… here is a hint: He has lots of personalities… I barely have one.
But the audio blog? I thought that was yours, and Trenton was promoting it… much like the Saloon at the Edge of Everywhere e-book? (Am I really still confused? I thought I got it sorted..) And hey you have plenty of personality from this angle…
I don’t even remember if the audio that started all this was mine… I think a lady did a podcast of one of my blog posts… and the rest sort of took off from there… He might be able to describe it better than me… I am not that bright.
Silly me, no need to answer those silly questions. Google told me what a custodian is, and then I realised that Trenton Babbage was not your alter ego… and then it became apparent what the Hub was! I am off to learn about sales and marketing…
To sell a market???
To market a sail? 😉
But the America’s Cup race is over… who would buy them?
So I’m too late to market a sail? Oh, my sense of timing…! (boo hoo)
I think they are going to race again sometime.
I think you’re trying to make me feel better. (sniff)
I am always trying to make you feel better. That is what I do here.
It works… that’s why I am stick around. Like superglue… 😉
May my hull always be encrusted with such lovely barnacles.
tee hee a lovely barnacle… that’s a first.
Nice hull. May it travel to exotic locations…
Within reason…
The word ‘perfect’ gets thrown around a lot these days…this however, is just perfect.
Perfection is as perfection does… unless it doesn’t…
My dear man, Trenton Babbage…
Good to hear from you again, and I am glad the strap is a perfect fit. Since our doorways were enlarged, I figured I got the proportions right for a great man’s head.
Yours perfickly,
WilderSoul
This is skating awfully close to a conversation that doesn’t involve me at all…
Oh… I thought Trenton might be feeling a bit left out? He got the strap after all… on your blog post. And we were only talking about monkeys!
I like skating…
He is going to get the strap if he doesn’t behave himself… HA!
I’m glad I have an Uncle around to defend my honour!
So much like my online brother on the other side of the world too…
Hope things turn out well for all of us, in the end. 🙂
Everything will be fine…
Thank you Uncle Art. With cherries on top. In quadraphonic sound…
What sound does a cherry make???
Hm? You are the one that knows, you great eater of cherry turnovers! I just realized that I am not so averse to small talk as I had previously thought… It just has to be quite absurd… with quadraphonic cherry chirps on top.
Quadrahedonal diastic chirpsology cherryontis,…
As I suspected, you are much more cleverer than me. And that is why I am reading your book!
I made those words up… Pretending you are smart is better than actually being smart.
Reeeeallly? I want to know more….
What part of pretending to be smart are you pretending not to understand???
How is it better than actually being smart?
Well it might not be, but it is the best I can do.
They say, Fake it till you Make it.. (who are They? Ooh I should ask Trenton Babbage in his unanswerable questions post..) Perhaps, could you have actually become smart after pretending for so long!? 🙂
And as for me, sadly, pretending not to understand for too long… well, you know…
I don’t think it should matter if you are really smart or just pretending to be smart if no one can tell the difference…
Unfortunately, some people can. I’d best be silent, it is apparently a great way to appear wise, even if not.
For some people, it is the only way… HA!!!
HA!!!! 😉
Exactly.
Indeed and with precision…
But not too much.
Excessive approximation would be better?
Who knows… I am just pretending to be deep now.
Oh, you have got me laughing silently… I am off to catch some shuteye before the sun makes the sky too bright!
Good night for now!
nighty night.
‘Morning with eggs and hollandaise sauce!
umm…
You’re too kind.
Or two of a kind…
Possibly… hmm… possibly quite true, when it comes to making money. (Should I charge for straps? Perhaps if I make the straps, and deliver them, you could hand them out, since you are so good at asking, “Would you like to buy something?” Could be a strapping good business…)
Oops (looks over shoulder) I don’t think I mentioned Arthur or monkeys! I love the front cover picture… I am already wondering how to tone down the black outlines on my colouring pictures. Coloured ink pens? Computerized ink lines?
This may be the weirdest three-way conversation in history…
I believe it may be true.
Which says a lot here…
Wierd is good, right?
It is to me.
(Hey, Arthur – I noticed the word ‘cool’ on the same line as a pronoun relating to me… is there some mistake?)
I do not make mistakes.
Gosh you guys…. that is the first time, I am pretty sure, that I have been on the same line as the ‘cool’ word.. I am flummoxed! And since I have teenagers now, well, cool is probably the last thing I would be called in my own home.. I feel the urge to send you both a present. Well actually, here –
X – one for you, Uncle Art,
and XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX – one for each of you dear Trenton.
(Oh.. I hope that doesn’t seem unfair Uncle Art, especially as this is your blogpost.)
I only started doing Twitter so my older daughter would admit that I am cool when I get celebrities to tweet me back… and it worked… she admitted it on Facebook.
Haha! I have such a big grin on my face and I’m trying not to laugh as it would wake the house up. Whoa! It is suddenly 5.30am – what happened to the night!? You are cool. Twitter is cool too. 🙂
Did you stay up or get up early???
I wish I could say I got up early and that I always get up at this time.. Instead, I will be silent. 😉
ahhhh
Haha… you say that like you’ve discovered a great secret about me!
Maybe not a great one…
Haha.. no, not so great.. I am sure there are some better ones hidden somewhere…
I hope so.
Can I email you?
sure… why not…
(weird)
Precisely.
To be precise…
Indeed.
Superglue…
Nope…I got my straps!

I saw that.
She’s cool.
We attract cool people.
Did I mention that one of the aliens has his private parts growing out of the top of his head? I felt I should warn you.
Hehe… thanks.. I think..
It is only there to get people talking about morality and nudity and how we can’t expect aliens to conform to our ideas of proper dress… and because it cracks me up…
I expect it will crack me up too!
There is one scene that involves a tug of war… I will not spoil it for you, but it is tastefully done, I assure you.
I am getting mixed reviews.
I’m guessing not about my falling over?
It can be read as having a dig at people; I think with a bit of tweaking it could be less abrasive.
It only makes fun of grownups… the lowest form of human being.
They’re also the ones with the money though.
whoops
I don’t like monkeys. They’re very similar to people, and I don’t like people.
But they don’t talk… or drive… or blog…
Kids are so much more aware with what’s going on. Totally underestimated by most adults.
They are a blast to be around. Couldn’t ask for better….and most of them like monkeys, too!
” I believe we do a disservice to ourselves and an injustice to the children.” So true.
Love this post
Thank you so much.
Jessica is right.
I think you’ll alienate some parents if you include it BUT if you don’t include it you’ll win the parents over with the book’s subliminal messages when they read it backward s l o w l y.
I just wanted to see what you would think of it. As I typed it up I knew it was too long to fit in the book. I also wanted to put that picture of me in my wedding suit with the chimp head in there somewhere.
You could write a book of essays.
“The Collected Opinions and Philosophies of Arthur Browne” c’mon, admit it, it’s pretty catchy, has a nice ring to it, you know you want to… .
And poems… can I put poems in it???
“The Collected Opinions, Philosophy and Poetry of Arthur Browne”. Poems are in it.
That’s you always wanting more, never satisfied with what you’ve got.
And you always deliver…
Personally I would start at “I like monkeys” and end with the next paragraph. The rest is great but I think that piece sums it up perfectly. I laughed out loud and not just a ‘ha!’ but a ‘ hahaha..’
HA!!!!! See what I did there? Because I saw what you did there…
Yeah…no. Not as good. Hehe
sigh
What about sea monkeys?
Well now I have to start a new book for weird adults…
That is the nicest compliment anyone has ever said about me 🙂
You deserved it…