(or); How we can make the Olympics more exciting for people who don’t really care about sports at all…
————————————————————————————————-
1. Really really really high diving… The pool should look like a postage stamp from the diving platform. Maybe they will have to build an elevator to get the divers up to the top. And if we fill the pool with Jello, so much the better.
2. Barefoot marathons…
3. Circular javelin throwing… No, I don’t mean the javelins are circular, I mean the competitors stand in a big circle, and they all throw the javelins at the same time…
4. Sole survivor archery… The competitors all wear shirts with targets printed on them, then they get to stalk each other through woods and fields while we watch it unfold thanks to carefully hidden cameras. Yes, I know this sounds a lot like the Hunger Games, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be exciting to watch…
5. Blindfolded balance beam…
6. Any swimming event… With poisonous sea snakes…
7. Track and field… With tigers…
8. Synchronized karaoke… Just seeing if you are really paying attention…
9. Fencing… Without the safety tips…
10. Just one equestrian event… Where the horse gets to be on top…
11. Boxing… Without gloves…
12. Pole vaulting… With greased poles…
13. Tennis… With balls covered with spikes…
14. Badminton… with rocket motors stuck in the birdies…









Well, Dotty Headbanger was right about this blog — I’m hooked!
Oh… thank you so much. Say hi to Dotty for me. And hang on, because the ride is going to get weirder… did I spell that right? Stupid spell checker…
Track & Field…with tigers. Oh man I’m rolling on that one!
Then you will love my post today…
Loved ALL your ideas but I think the boxing without gloves sounds interesting…I could start training now…
The people around you will love that.
My kids are picking up on it quite nicely. They don’t even seem to need instruction on technique…
Natural talent is always nice.
You admit that you have some then?
I meant your kids… or at least I thought I did.
So you have none?
I can neither confirm nor deny…
Typical alien response. I expected that.
Is it possible to be a ‘typical’ alien? That is such a humancentic point of view.
Then you agree I’m not an alien.
How would I know? You think every alien on your planet knows all the other aliens that are here? That is like saying all the Chinese people in the world all know where all the other Chinese people are.
But aliens are smart like that. Of course they know.
If you are an alien, you already know the answer… if you aren’t, why would you presume you know the answer? Or that I do? I never even said exactly what sort of alien I am. I might be one of the stupid ones.
Now you’re just being absurd.
Doesn’t mean I ain’t right…
I can concede to you being right only once in a lifetime. Are you willing to risk it all now? Take some time to think about it. You might need it for later.
No… I do not need to be right about that… I need to be right about risking putting two years of my life on this silly blog and hoping it gets noticed.
I noticed.
H.H. For one I like some and I stress some sports.
1. Really really really high diving… Good idea
2. Barefoot marathons…Better idea
3. Circular javelin throwing…Not sure this is a good idea, maybe death row inmate targets?
4. Sole survivor archery…I liked hunger games and this idea.
5. Blindfolded balance beam…great idea, maybe really high beam?
6. Any swimming event… With poisonous sea snakes…what about hungry sharks?
7. Track and field… With tigers…love it!
8. Synchronized karaoke… Just seeing if you are really paying attention…I was.
9. Fencing… Without the safety tips…Kill the protective equipment, add hallucinogenic coated tips & I’m in.
10. Just one equestrian event… Where the horse gets to be on top…just nasty!
11. Boxing… Without gloves…we did this in the 90’s it turned into the UFC, not knocking it just not what we intend it to be.
12. Pole vaulting… With greased poles…that’s funny.
13. Tennis… With balls covered with spikes…Or exploding balls, holes in the court?
14. Badminton… with rocket motors stuck in the birdies…I like it.
Just lame excuses to do more funny pictures… wait for it…
6, 7, & 10 definietely need to be Photoshops
I have a feeling that is going to happen…