If you love me, go down. Come on, don’t be shy.
That’s it. That feels good. Scroll down a little more.
Read all my words. There are no secrets between us. We can share all our deepest thoughts. Read it. Just like that. When you click my older posts button I go crazy.
Don’t just skim the words and glance at the pictures. I want you to take it all in. I need you to feel the real me. Don’t make me beg. I know it’s long, but I swear you’ll like it if you give it a chance. I would never hurt you, baby.
Taste my tastefulness. Absorb my wit and charm. Tell me what parts you like, and I promise I’ll do more posts just the way you like it.
You can trust me. If I say I am going to come over to your blog soon, I really mean it. I’m not like those other guys. I know you’ve been hurt before. I know you are vulnerable and lonely, but I would never lie to you just to get what I want. I’m not like that.
I feel your eyes on me. I feel you soaking up my past.. Oh, keep going.. Yeah, just like that. Read me fast…
I’m going to blog… I will fill you with my posts… Follow me, baby, follow me…
Oh, that was great. I hope it was good for you, too.
I am going to go outside and have a smoke.
—————————————————————–
Sorry about that. I was just trying to make a point in an amusing way. We are all blog-tramps to some degree. Not much of a point, but there you have it.
Now, just to make sure you weren’t faking it, please answer the following questions;
1. How many brothers do I have?
2. What kind of animal statue were we all sitting on when we were little?
3. What did my parents put in my playpen besides me?
4. What was the name of the Sea Scout boat that I almost died on?
5. What are the names of my two daughters?
7. What famous toy was the subject of my first computer art class project?
8. Why would Conan the barbarian be a good babysitter? (In the form of an essay, please).
Just kidding. You don’t have to take the quiz.
But if you do, and you get them all right, I am going to have a bloggasm…
——————————————————————————
Pouring My Art Out 
“Just kidding. You don’t have to take the quiz.”
Liar! You know you want everyone to take this quiz and get them all right, too.
I had to scroll down really fast so as not to see anyone else’s answers. Here goes nothing:
1. How many brothers do I have?
Three: Jack, Henry, and… I’m sorry. I can’t remember your other brother’s name.
2. What kind of animal statue were we all sitting on when we were little?
A camel. It did not look happy. NOT. AT. ALL.
3. What did my parents put in my playpen besides me?
Boxes. Lots and lots of boxes. Your leg was sticking out through the netting, and you did not look happy. NOT. AT. ALL.
4. What was the name of the Sea Scout boat that I almost died on?
The Farallon. It was an old cutter, and it was named for a group of islands off the coast of California.
5. What are the names of my two daughters?
Jessica and Mollie. Jessica lives in Arizona now. If I’m not mistaken, Mollie is the same age as Henry.
7. What famous toy was the subject of my first computer art class project?
Mr. Potato Head!
8. Why would Conan the barbarian be a good babysitter? (In the form of an essay, please).
Er, because he protects the innocent and fights evil, so, in other words, if anyone tries to f*** with your kids, Conan will f*** them up.
That’s the closest you get to an essay. I wrote you a song, man. What more do you want?
Awesome… I told you you would end up knowing me better than you know anybody else on this planet… this is my whole life…
and then I found your third brother’s name: Sid.
Very good.
1. How many brothers do I have? 3
2. What kind of animal statue were we all sitting on when we were little? A camel and little bit fell asleep on it AND you were being sweet, making sure the baby didn’t fall off.
3. What did my parents put in my playpen besides me? I think your parents were hoarders.
4. What was the name of the Sea Scout boat that I almost died on? I read that story just now but forgot the name. You had your hands in your pocket and puke on your face (for a minute) and were saved by your hair but not the hair on your chinny chin chin.
5. What are the names of my two daughters? Jessica and Mollie. Jess is older and plays the flute and they are both super cute.
7. What famous toy was the subject of my first computer art class project? Mr. Potato Head and your second picture was way better.
8. Why would Conan the barbarian be a good babysitter? (In the form of an essay, please). I’m not writing any dang essay.
Well now I am just plain crazy about you.
For actually reading your posts?
I don’t know why anyone would bother to comment if they didn’t actually read what they’re commenting on.
Yet people do. There are the ‘like’ button clickers that just rundown the pages of WordPress pushing the button. Then there are those who scan the first paragraph and maybe the last line, then make a quick comment. Sometimes it takes a few days to spot these people. I admit that I am not above using funny tricks to grab attention, but at least I am up front about my begging and pleading and joking manipulations. These people are just putting in the least effort possible to try to get hits.
But this is a weird world of words we all inhabit. There is only so much time in a day. We have to pick those we get to know carefully, or we spread out to thin and get lost. That is why I value everyone who really pays attention and spends any time reading my stuff at all. I know you have stuff to do, and there are a lot of good blogs out there. I try to keep about 5 people on my list of who I am reading through at a time. Some have posts going back a year or more, like the Hobbler, so it takes a while.
I personally value quality over quantity. I mean sure, who doesn’t want a lot of readers or followers, but if they’re not really reading than the numbers don’t really mean that much. (But I’m not trying to sell a novel either. I write because I love it and it’s a big part of who I am.)
I’m a little picky about who I add to my reader because, as you’ve said, there’s only so much I can keep up with. But I’m even pickier about who I’ll add to my blogroll. I’m a little more relaxed about leaving comments (now) but the ‘like’ button I will not click unless I REALLY like something, as you’ll notice. It can’t just be, “oh, that was written coherently and entertained me for a minute or two, I’ll ‘like’ it.” It has to be, “Ooh, this piece really touched me or made me laugh or moved me in some way and is one of my favorites of everything I’ve read.”
Though I think I missed one of yours because I’m on Blogger and we don’t have a like button that I’m aware of, so I’ve forgotten to click it for you WP peeps a few times.
I may have overstated my master plan. I don’t do this to support the novel. It will just help with the novel. Do you think I could do all this without loving it. This is the release I have looked for all my life. A chance to meet people like you and talk about my art, and your art, and I get to mess with politicians who annoy me. And brag about my kids. But I have to keep the novel in mind, a little. It is a big hunk of me, and I can’t let it become one more unfinished project.
Well, you said you actually finished writing it, so that’s something. And you’re almost through with the final edit. Only thing left after that is to submit it! You’re almost there. I don’t have the patience for a novel. At least not yet. I’ve started two and never finished them. One was sixteen years ago and honestly, it’s pretty bad. The other was only a few months ago but I was still too close to the subject matter and had to put it down.
I have started hundreds, at least to the notes and research stage… sigh.
Oh wow! You win, you’ve got more squirrels in your brain. At least creative ones. My squirrels are mostly neurotic.
They also turn the wheel which supplies the power.
I am so sorry. I am a computer moron. I tried all that stuff, and I still can’t get to your posts easily, or follow you. And it is so slow. Our computer is getting ready to die.
Hey, I think I got it to work. Except I had to sign up as Arthur Browne, just so you know. I am going to start at the top with you, if you don’t mind, because that is where all the action is… blush…wink…smile…
I saw you over there. You can do whatever you like, top or bottom, a few, some or none. I am not like my daughter in that respect.
Tell me again how to follow you… (anywhere)… so that your new posts will pop up on WordPress reader… please…
To add a blog not on WP to your reader, click Edit List (beside ‘Blogs I Follow’). Then enter my URL: http://www.pathoflillys.com
That should do it. Let me know.
Hey… I think I did it. I am so excited. Your writing is evocative, playful, deep, moving, mercurial, and perhaps demoniacally possessed. In a good way. This week I am diving in head first. So it is good that you are deep, or I might snap my silly neck. I have valued your comments on my post so much.
Bahaha! “demonically possessed” I must be just that because I totally took that as a compliment. Don’t get too excited though. The majority of my stuff is depressing so if you can’t read it, I understand. I wouldn’t want to be responsible for anyone getting depressed or worse.
You’re welcome for the comments. You’ve got some good stuff over here. I’m spread a little thin right now with my reading. I’m delving into several blogs simultaneously while also trying to keep up with comments, twitter, my own blog and personal life. But I’ll get to some more soon.
You have gone beyond the call of duty. No pressure.
Oh, and that post you did about men who can write made me want to email my novel to you something fierce. And spend more time transcribing more of my word pieces. Or just type till my fingers bleed…sigh…
I’m more than a little jaded by quill-wielding men, sorry. They’re very dangerous sorts and I’ve banished them to the land of SeenButNotHeard.
Ha. Because I use a keyboard and ballpoint pens. So there. And I was really just trying to show you my mind. But my ego has been suitably deflated, rest assured!
I was being dramatic. I can still appreciate the written word and love it from a distance. 🙂
Yeah, I got a little defensive there. I just meet a few people, too rarely, that I instinctively feel the need to impress. I am just a big kid sometimes, wanting attention. Maybe it is having three brothers. You had to get a little crazy to get noticed. But I still think that post would make any guy who writes want to attract your attention. So there.
Oh. I thought you were playing around too, I didn’t know you were serious. I’m sorry. So hard to convey tone and miscommunication is bound to happen especially when you’re first learning each other and their unique personalities.
And maybe that explains my psycho? admirer who I cussed out on that same post.
Sorry. I need to stop getting ‘word crushes’ on people. I am like some flirty little mayfly. But I swear, I’m harmless.
I have been having so much trouble commenting on your posts. My computer slows way down, and when I copy and paste my url it says I am doing illegal characters. I am just going to do anonymous comments, but type in that it is me.
I’ve been having trouble with Blogger today, so maybe it’s with them and not your computer. That’s fine, just sign ‘PMAO’. Thanks for the comments. I’ll be gone for a while but will get back to you maybe later on tonight. 🙂
You have done your share. But I enjoy your writing tremendously.
Thank you, I’m enjoying going through your blog too and seeing how your art is improving and branching out.
Well I have had a long time to get better. Thanks.
I started to read your stuff. The mirror one, and I love it. But I can’t comment. It made me do a profile thing, and then told me there were illegal characters in it, even though I cut and pasted my url thing. Sigh. Let me try it again.
Hmm, somebody else (from WP) told me the same thing, that they were having a hard time commenting and ended up leaving them as anonymous. I think if you have a gravatar or open-id account, it will follow you around so you don’t have to fill all that crap out every time. Apparently you’ve never been to the other side of the tracks before.
What about the follow button, so I can at least read the new stuff you do?
Top left side of my blog, Google friend connect. I guess it works for you WP people. ?
I am having trouble with your blog. My computer hates it, but I love it. I have to do a profile for every comment I make. I did one as ‘anonymous’ just to save time. And how do I follow you? Where is the button. And where did you get that cool copyright thingy?
Sorry about that. Blogger is different. If you go to Gravatar.com and fill *that* stuff out, I believe it will follow you wherever you go online so you don’t have to fill that stuff out every time. There’s a follow thing on the upper right where my ‘Resident bad-asses’ are located. A couple of WP people have clicked it so I’m assuming it works for you guys.
The CC thing? I saw it on someone else’s blog and clicked the link, which took me to the actual page that has the details. So I saved the image and put it on my blog too as a hyperlink (involves html but it’s pretty easy).
Thanks for stopping by my place but please, don’t feel obligated. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t do that, but I just felt the need to say that. And also too, most of my older stuff is depressing.
No, I am going to enjoy myself when I have free moments. I find that my comments get turned to spam if I do more than 5 or 6 on one blog in a row. But tour writing is ethereal. It sweeps around you like a desert night breeze. I am going to try the Gravatar thing. And th bad-ass thing. Thanks.
Wow, that is good porn. Remind me to link to it when/if I make you a porn star.
If, my asterisk… you know you are gonna come around.
Probably one day, I have others I have to do too. Everyone wants me. I keep screaming “I’m coming, I’m coming” but they don’t stop. I like it that way though. Really, I can’t get enough.
This is bordering on inappropriate… I see a sexual harassment suit in your future. But I will only sue you for extra attention… I am not being cocky. I am climbing the list because even though I am not the smartest person you know, I am interesting in interesting ways. I fill a void, a need…(yeah, I said it)… that you have… you feel it… you are fighting it… but that will make your surrender all the sweeter… I sound like Hotspur all of a sudden…
Okay, I get it. I am reading through February then I’m taking a break for all the other porn stars I like to watch. Hotspur? No kidding, he writes a lot of this type of porn.
I await your pleasure, milady…
(Now I sound like Fabio on a romance book cover)
I am going to go back and read all my old posts with the comments. And because I crack me up.
You have that much time?
I always have time for me, unlike everyone else…
Sorry PMAO. People are just busy. Don’t take it personal.
I am just working the angles… or angles… ha…
I am fine. I grow on people, like fungus… I just mean I am not pining away.
I think it is better if we all can do this on our own time frame. I would rather take my time, but it looks like most of the people you love have stopped by somewhere in here.
No, it’s all good. I have no complaints… for a change.
Wow, amazing. I will work through it all. Just for you…
Either way, he says nonchalantly…
Dear pmao,
I knew all the answers but sj beat me to it.
Love Dotty xxx
I am capable of more than one bloggasm… but not on the same day.
1. 3
2. Camel
3, Boxes and other crap.
4. Farallon
5. Jess and Mollie
6. YOU DIDN’T PUT A NUMBER SIX, THIS IS A TRICK!
7. Mr Potato Head
8. Not a super hero – just a regular dude, gave of his wealth freely, fights injustice, nice guy who doesn’t take advantage of the ladies…plus he got you to read.
See, I’ve just spent the last two and a half hours starting from the beginning. Only one more page left!
I really do not know what to say. I hope you didn’t feel that it was a waste of time. You now know more about me than all but about 10 people on this planet. I am going to start digging into your past like a crazed stalker, but in a good way.
Please do! My blog is only a little older than yours (it’ll be 4 months old on the 12th), and I get a little wordy sometimes. I mostly talk about books, but there’s some other stuff mixed in there.
I’m glad I took the time to go through all of your posts. It was definitely fun. 🙂
I am reading your stuff right now. Jewish vampires and an escape hatch for sparkley incestual muscle people.
We may not be on the same page musically, but your writing is so deliciously all over the place and straight to the point at the same time. The illustrations are charming.
My friend Meg does my illustrations. She helps bring my posts to life.
I just found that out in ‘Suddenly, everything has changed.
I think she’s super talented, and she completely gets my
not so funnysense of humour.this post should be censored……….manipulation of the mind is what it is……..i have been corrupted against my will……………ill never be the same again………….now i have to work with filthy images in my head all day…………….