I have a natural skill that is slightly unusual. When I am only half listening… or not really listening… or just when I can’t hear very well… which happens more and more often as I get older… my brain has this magical way of filling in the gaps. It never leaps straight to the answer that makes the most sense. Oh no, not my brain. It just naturally fills in the spaces with the most bizarre interpretations available.
The other day, my wife just happened to mention that if we got a hot tub, she would be ecstatic…. my brain substituted the word ‘Hispanic’ for ecstatic… oh sure, once I put my mind to it and forced it to be more serious, it came to the right conclusion. But for one brief moment… I thought I was getting tacos for dinner for sure.
Okay, that might not be the best example. How about this one:
I was rinsing dishes in the sink the other day with the TV on. A Dr. Scholl’s commercial came on. They are a company that makes, among other things, I assume, odor eater shoe inserts, and now they have these gel cushions you stick in your shoes. The announcer was droning on about ‘Stimulating Step’ gel inserts… but what I heard was: ‘Simulating Sex’ gel inserts…
And if you think about it, maybe that should be a thing…
I can see the commercials now…
Simulating Sex inserts, for when you don’t know whether you are coming or going… give your feet a happy ending… and we guarantee a full release… of all your pent up stress and lower back pain.
Pouring My Art Out 
You are okay and held your pwn against Paul’s awesome comments
😀
—>
I have my moments… thanks
Many will say you are losing your hearing and/or concentration. I say you are gaining artistic perspective – “What could that have possibly meant with a few minor changes?” My brain fills in conversation frequently. In fact when people are standing waiting for response from me I have learned not to speak what is on my mind. For instance a quick question asking directions could easily be replied to with: “Palm trees can only be bought at specialty nurseries here- and kept inside.” You can see how that could be confusing to others although it makes perfect sense to me.
In case no words are obvious and some are needed, I can do that too. I was driving along a major highway in a blinding snowstorm, a part of a convoy of trucks doing about 15 mph. About every 20 miles were huge Flashing electronic billboards delivering such profound messages as “Danger Blizzard Conditions” or “High Winds and Whiteouts” or, my favorite, “Drive Safely”. The next sign was portable and seemed to have been rolled into place at the roadside to fill in a place where the big signs ended. It was so windy that the sign (about 20 feet by 10 feet on wheels) had blown over on its back. I picked up the CB and addressed the other drivers: “Did you see that? The sign was flashing ‘Help! I’ve fallen over and can’t get back up!’ ” There was along pause and another driver responded: ” You have way too much time on your hands driver.”
nobody leaves comments like you… whatever it was you just said…
“nobody leaves coconuts like you … ” Why thank you Art. I must confess one of my favorite stories is the time I bought a dozen coconuts and tied them all up in a big maple tree in our front yard and then proceeded to convince our 7 and 9 year olds that it was a coconut tree that only bloomed once in a life time.
sweet