When I am not traveling the world and having adventures, or writing songs, or carving tikis, or writing a novel or a book for children, or raising my own daughters, or editing a book I already finished, or trying to sell them, or doing a blog post, or stalking celebrities on Twitter to add to my collection, or trying to become the Supreme Garbanzo Of All The Known Universes, or whatever, and I have a free moment to relax, I do have a few games on my iPad I like to play.
Yes, I am the leader of a clan in Clash Of Clans… and you should totally join my clan… and I do like solitaire… but right now, the one I like best is The Sims, Free Play.
I have a quaint little town, and it is just about as quirky as you would expect from a guy who has crack squirrels living in his head. Let me tell you about it.
My very first Sim character, well, I named him Arthur Blacke… (pronounced ‘black’)… which, if you had bothered to read my action/adventure/sci-fi series of novels… (available by clicking the pictures of the books in my sidebar over there)… you would know is the main character from my ‘The Otherwhere Chronicles’ series. You would also know that he is me… from another universe. The Sim me is just another me from another universe. He wears magicians robes… because his hobby is magic… but he is also the town mayor, so he goes to work in a white suit. He lives in a Japanese-style house and has a pet dog… named Shiloh, just like me… and a pet dragon… named Frazzle… which I wish was also like the real me.
Then, because I was raised a Berkeley hippy liberal, I have the adorable gay couple, who are both firemen, and raised a daughter.
There are also the three hot lesbians, but don’t judge me, I did it so I can have a culturally and life-stlyey diverse town.
I have a character based on my daughter, Mollie, who is now the queen of the town, and walks around dressed like the Queen of England going to a ball, but she works as a rock star, so she changes into these crazy outfits for work.
I created another character to reflect my older daughter, Jessica, and then decided I should also create her boyfriend… sorry, fiancé… Jason, and I had them get married, but had him take her last name… HA! Jason Blacke! Oh, yeah. (I also had to do a jester quest in order to build the castle, so I had fun making him dress up in a jester outfit and do outlandish stuff for a while… sorry, buddy… I showed him his character doing the jester dances, when he was just here for my wife’s surprise party, which Jessica totally organized, and he liked it, which shows what a good sport he is)…
Other than that, I amuse myself by making up funny names for each new character. When they first appear, I make them wear a Sims t-shirt, funky green shorts, goofy flip-flops, and a pointy aluminum foil hat, you know, like crazy people wear to deflect the rays from the CIA satellites. I then make them do all the least glamorous tasks, at least until I can create another character and then they get to become a couple, and move in together, and I dress them in matching outfits… like crazy-colored snow suits… or paint-smeared artist overalls… or these funny, one-piece space suits that come in lots of colors, and look a little like something from the movie Tron.
I like to amuse myself in interesting ways. I once made a character named Rich Richman, and dressed him in a tuxedo… and then made him my character’s personal chef and butler… HA! That was fun.
Maybe I will make a Donald Trump character next, and just let him starve to death, after I make his entire existence miserable for a while. Or I will make a Dick Cheney character, make them move in together, and destroy both of them. That should be fun.
I don’t really know why I felt the need to share all this with you… hey… I have crack squirrels living in my cranium… I don’t know why I do most of the stuff I do.