I love my crazy horde of minions!!!
I never could understand why WordPress has a ‘follow’ button. Who wants to be a follower? That just sounds like you are joining a cult. Why didn’t they call it the ‘make a new friend’ button?
And somewhere along the line I started half-jokingly calling my more loyal ‘followers’ my minions. And most of them thought it was funny. And it has sort of taken off. Then we did that crazy post where we tried to break the record for the most comments on one post, and in the course of getting those 15,487 comments, we sort of began to pretend that we really do live in a hollow volcano, have some sort of vague plan for world conquest, and are raising a minion army to help me achieve that goal.
Because hey, somebody has to put fuel in the rocket, or sweep the floors of the secret lair, or buy the groceries, or willingly give their lives when James Bond and his ninjas show up so I can sneak off to make my escape…
It is those unglamorous roles performed by minions that might make some of you feel that being a ‘minion’ is actually a step down from being a ‘follower’. You have a mental image of a minion as someone like Igor…
But ask yourself this: Could Dr. Frankenstein… or Dr. Frankenstien… have ever created his monster without trusty Igor by his side?
I prefer to think of my minions as a loyal and rather scary horde of brave warriors, like an army of Orcs… only without the whole ‘losing and getting wiped out at the end of the story’ thing… hopefully…
But however you want to look at it, I want to thank a few of my minions who went above and beyond the call of duty during those insane days when we were trying to break that comment record.
———————————
1. First, to my friend Trent at: http://trentlewin.com/
He is my official Head Minion. He is also:
Head Minion in charge of flirting, Official Hostess and Greeter for when I am busy or sleeping, and The Keeper and User of the only toilet plunger for when the toilets in the secret lair get plugged up.
During our comment record, Trent came through for me. I did half of all those comments because I tried to respond to each and every one, but he came in a close second. He made people feel welcome when I wasn’t around… and then he would get bored when he was alone and came up with some really weird stuff to keep himself occupied… like seducing himself… seriously, if you ever get bored, go down to the ***comment here*** post, or hit this link: http://wp.me/p25PYJ-21u and read all 15,000 + comments… it will crack you up… you can even add a comment to it and become a part of history and maybe we will get to 20,000 comments some day.
2. To my friend List of X at: http://listofx.com/
He is the official Co-Head Minion, Executive Minion in charge of sarcasm training, Battle Leader of Minion Assault Group 1, and First Runner Up of the Miss Minion beauty pageant… hey, we are an equal opportunity evil organization here…
3. Al from: http://kattermonran.com/
Chief Minion in charge of photography, and the official minion pet veterinarian…
4. http://toofulltowrite.wordpress.com/blog/… I don’t know if I am supposed to tell you these people’s names… but he is:
Chief Executive Assistant Head Minion, Minion in charge of whipping minions who get out of line, oh, and he teaches the minion haiku class on Thursday nights.
5. Julie… uh… she doesn’t have a blog… but she can live at mine for as long as she wants, because she cracks me up… so I am making her:
Chief Minion in charge of cracking me up.
6. And last but by no means least, Jennifer, from: http://jenniferwindram.com/
Second Chief Executive Co-Head Minion, Head Minion in charge of being all flirty and sexy, Keeper of the Funny Hat Room, the minion in charge of warm jammies, and Head Minion in charge of my moral.
—————————–
So whatever you think of the word ‘minion’, whatever way you picture them in your head… and I like to do it like this…
… ask yourself if you have what it takes to become a minion…
Because we could always use a new friend.
*** If I did not mention you by name, please forgive me… I know that hundreds of you helped make our comment post fun, and if I could have mentioned you all, I sure the hell would have***
Pouring My Art Out 
Oh, Art. You’re Gru! You love your minions, know them all by name, give them work and days off. They’re not your followers. They, we are your family. Right? In that case, it is my honor to be your minion. What do you put me in charge of?
I put you in charge of reminding me that I also have to do stuff for other people, because I get busy and self-centered and forget stuff… but days off? That’s just crazy talk…
Thank you for the shout-out! This was definitely fun and I don’t think we have to stop just because we set the record. I mean, we don’t want anyone else get any ideas about their own record, now do we? I suggest you add the link to this post to the sidebar.
Oh, and thank you for making me Battle Leader of Minion Assault Group 1. I just have to ask, is there an Assault Group 2? Or 3? Or are we on our own in the Assault Group 1?
If the first assault goes well, I will send Trent and the ladies in to back you up…
I kind of want the back up when the assault DOESN’T go well. But if it does, I’d want all the credit.
It should work out that way… maybe
Ok, so next question… Is there anyone else in the Assault Group 1 besides me?
Yes… but they could use a little training…
OMG. I am so honored. I vow to always keep the jammies warm and the hat dances coming.
Wait, did I just say that?
I think I did. I have to say, I’ve been lost without the Comment Here post. I walked around aimlessly yesterday, trying to get my cats to watch the hat dance. The kitty jammies are off and I’ve been craving dog biscuits (with sprinkles). I’ve been answering my husband with random movie lines or song lyrics or the word “nipple” and I maybe even tried to flirt with myself yesterday. Help!
We have all passed into a strange time vortex and nothing will ever be the same again… I am having a hard time letting go of ‘COMMENT-FEST-15,000. But I am glad I went through it with all of you.
Let’s do the time warp again….
yes…
I’d like to apply for “minion too self absorbed in her own blog to comment as much as she could have but still very much a part of this”
Trent Lewin is fucking awesome. That is all.
I am making you the official Chief Minion in charge of not being here as much as I would like you to be here because I like you.
I was there a decent amount- not a Top Tier minion –
but I stopped in regularly –
the best part is Trent Lewin and X are two of my favorite bloggers, which means now I have to go and see who these other amazing bloggers are who helped you make history!!
我有一個可愛的一堆椰子。
Dude, that is an awesome shout-out! Thanks for the by far the most fun I’ve had blogging in the WordPress empire. It was unique, it was creative, and I saw and did stuff I’ve never even heard of before… happy to be there, happy to be a part of it all, and so happy to have met such wonderful people. Now please send me some toothpaste so that I can wash the taste of dog treats out of my mouth.
Don’t runoff so fast… people need a slow let down… and a party… I think we should all me for a ‘type while you’re drunk’ Friday or Saturday night reunion party!!!
You know I’m in. Oh yeah… I’ll hone up the flirting skills…
oh lord, give me strength… to resist you swivel hips…
You cannot resist… you know this to be true.
I am only human after all
I sort of miss the dog treats.
Any time we feel like being silly we can go down there… uh… you know what I mean… find an old comment thread… and some more stuff… or just flirt with ourselves… do a dance… eat a treat… whatever…
Why is everything always down below?
down where the goblins go…
I wish I could quit them!
ha
As a. NEw-ish minion, I want you to know that I do not smell like an Orc. Noe do I drool.
I didn’t know you had signed up as an official minion… If this is the case, I am touched and honored and I now make you the Head Minion in charge of personal hygiene and not drooling, and for sending so many people over to help, you are also Chief Minion in charge of sending me new minions.
Shit. No. I mean, I thought I automatically became a minion by showing up. I told you, I never volunteer.
And I couldn’t compete with Trend. Or X. Or Jennifer. You I can compete with and beat the shit out of.
nuh uh… and I now proclaim you as a minion even if you don’t want to be… so… uh… winning.
Shit. No. I mean it.
sorry… we already ordered you a uniform… extra tight…
My eyes are rolling along with my muffin tops.
We can have a girdle sewed right in… ha
No.
custom tailored in any color you want?
No.
لدي مجموعة جميلة من جوز الهند.
No.
Ha
Elyse, you kind of scare me… just kidding.
ssshhhh… she can smell fear…
As long as she can’t smell soiled undies, I’m okay.
That is what fear smells like
I knew there was a correlation…
they go together
congratulations. now what? Lucy
Oh, I have some ideas…
Oh, Good Gordon, Gracie. Lucy
Nothing is ever really over…
Till the fat lady sings.
Till the gravitationally challenged female sings… gotta be PC
How about”fluffy”?
ha
Sweet 🙂
yes… they are… you are…
That was fun, Art. I’m glad I could be a part of history. And you did it!! So what happens next? Did you get a call from WordPress? Guinness? – Your loyal minion, Amy
I am toying with some ideas…
Oh…I am so verklempt!! (and I am not even Jewish) That’s a mighty lofty title bestowed on me. I will do my very best to make you crack up. Or make you proud. Or proudly crack up. or keep talking to myself. and to try not to get so excited so easily. or maybe to continue getting excited easily. I’m so confused!
Thank you. From the bottom of my HUGE heart. I have had (and will continue to have) so much fun. What a wonderful place you have here Wizard! OZ is soo beautiful and the munchkins are all so happy! –Wait sorry, wrong movie-
Seriously I had no idea I would find this kind of fun, with so many witty like-minded people. I didn’t think I existed in so many others.
PS. What do you mean I don’t have a blog. What do you call this? I am home. Do I need to wave my blog award around? You know how Trent gets when I do that..
Yeah, you are a freak of nature
yep, that’s me. Letting my freak flag fly! ;P
Yay!
Hey! I’m just gonna ignore that jibe, cause you were so much fun to play with. I hope you stick around, Julie.
yeah… what he said… and new people are still popping in to the comment post… we need to have a party!
Party on the thread! Name the time, I know the place.
I will do a post tomorrow…
I am not going anywhere Trent. Well, maybe work, the store, the bar, the bathroom, the shower (is that repetitive?), the kitchen, the garage, bed…Oh nevermind. I am not going anywhere. You were too much fun to play with too!
And the love fest continues… but I’m not jealous… sigh
pssst.. i really meant that for you… i saw you first..
that’s better
You too Julie. Was awesome.
was???
Is!
there you go
And now it is over 31,000!
we just keep plugging on
Oh, we are out there… somewhere…
You’re still in my head, Julie. You’re still in my head.
You are all in my head forever!
I know. I can’t stop. Do they have meetings for this kind of thing?
And yet we are wasting our time on this post
Really, what are we doing when “Comment Here” is still here? I just saw it down below.
Ich habe einen schönen Haufen Kokosnüsse.
What the? Should I Google it?
It means ‘I have a lovely bunch of coconuts’…
Well, what does that mean?
我有一個可愛的一堆椰子。
I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts?
of course I am! but aren’t I a pleasant tenant? Besides, I don’t want you to get lonely Jen..
You’re wonderful. You don’t keep the music too loud and you walk quietly so the hardwood floors don’t squeak.
I thought she was taking dancing lessons.
Keep it down up there!
I would also like to salute Trent, your head minion. He and I raised our cups in your honor a few times, and no we did not snicker behind your back. Okay, a little snickering. Good natured snickering. All in fun you know. He’s a wise man that Trent 😉
He was a credit to the force.
pft
I knew I would make somebody unhappy… sorry
lol
I wanted to mention everybody
I know
yo yo Masta Z in the house!
oh… SHE is master Z… I just put that together
Oh boy… ya, the rapper formerly known as Zoe is now Masta Z!
I forgot about the rapping thing… because we never saw it…
Yo yo Masta Z, lay down some propa rhymes!
yes… prove that Canadians are no better than Americans
It feels weird to me commenting on a new post… like all these could be adding up the score… my mindset is all messed up.
I feel kind of guilty commenting here… feels like we’re cheating on the record!
and we are up above 15,500 now
I second that Trent. It doesn’t feel “right” chatting here…..we are on the wrong post!
I know, right?
I think I may have to make a habit of popping over there now and then…. seems like the right thing to do.
oh… about that…
yes……
you’ll see
that’s why I refuse to let the other one go!
Good for you… we can still shoot for 1,000,000
It’s certainly not fading away…. like almost another thousand comments just like that…
Everything else seems pale in comparison…
It really does. This is a monster… of the good, kindly Godzilla kind.
I feel like I am wasting my time on my other posts… my own posts… this must be what it feels like to star in a show that gets canceled.
Just look at it as a super successful show that wound up on a high note and that’s now in re-runs. Nothing bad about that.
We are the M*A*S*H of blogging!
Me, too…
We can still comment there whenever we want… the number is still adding up. But I know what you mean.
لدي مجموعة جميلة من جوز الهند.
…
…ooo000ooo…
word!
that was… convincing
you down with it?
yes… and I can’t get up again…
Trendy TL Rappa Dude help him!
我有一個可愛的一堆椰子。
So those of us who dropped by once in a while to leave a comment are “just minions?” I’d like a title too!
We could use a secretary and a treasurer
Why do I always have to take the minutes? (stamping foot)
You could lead an assault troop…
I am adoring my shout out! This whole exercise has been a megblast of fun. Thank you PMAO, I will continue to keep the flame burning both on “Comment Here” and elsewhere for years to come – now that’s dedication!
I bet we can do 20,000… just not as fast…
Dude, you were awesome!
We were all awesome! Even me!
Don’t you mean “odd you”?
maybe
Dude – you were even more awesome – you were ultra, mega, stupendously, fandabbydibbydociley off the effing chain – I triple salute you, with honey, sugar, nuts and chocolate sprinkles on top!
hold the nuts… HA!!!
Made in an environment where nuts are handled!
oh, my… and dude… my plan to have a party all weekend… it turns out that it already IS Friday in Australia,,, people have already started to pop in and out…
I will drop in for a chinwag after I’ve eaten me dinner, it is still Thursday here but I’m willing to make an exception for you and that post!
I knew I could count on you
Holy crap! That made me blush AND feel hungry!
uh…
Easy now…
I got a peaceful, easy feeling… or is that a queasy feeling?
Blushing does work up a healthy appetite. But so does everything these days. Might as well just stay in bed. With a burrito.
kinky…
I cannot argue with this advice.
you could
How?
who knows
I’m glad to have been a ‘mini-minion’. I don’t think many evil overlords would take the time to comment on all of their minions’ posts.
You truly live the philosophy – loyalty is a two-way street.
So, if you do end up breaking the record, I can honestly say- you deserve it.
Thanks…
Right, who needs putting to sleep?
Don’t jump the gun…
If you have time to write thousands of comments, you have time to mention the hundreds of contributors…
It will keep your mind occupied for a while as you devise your next scheme.
You are underestimating my laziness and self-centeredness…