My good friend Ed Hotspur…

http://edwardhotspur.wordpress.com/

… has made it a challenge for us to all write the most fitting eulogy for his passing…

Even though he probably didn’t even have the decency to actually die…

Here is my little tribute to a big man. I hope you find some comfort in your grief…

—————————————————-

I will miss… (wait, what was his name again?)… Ed, yeah, Ed. I mean, I really didn’t get everything he said… he sort of tried too hard, if you know what I mean… and man, that guy could be a prick when he wanted to be, but I saw moments of brilliance every so often. I liked his pictures of clouds. I think he touched all of us in some way… not always an appropriate way, but he struck a chord that wasn’t in any music book I have ever seen. He did tend to go on and on about his life, which, now that it is over, I think we can all admit wasn’t that exciting, but he did open up to us, like a flasher, even if we didn’t really ask him to…. or even when we asked him to please stop, for god’s sake.
I considered Ebner to be a… (what? oh, sorry)… Edward, a friend. Our relationship blossomed, partly because we both tend to talk too much, and also because he lived far away from me, so it seemed safe enough. We used to sit for hours on those green couches in his foyer, just talking… well,I would talk, Ed just kept asking me to lay down and tell him my darkest fears and deepest fantasies, but whatever. (He did that in a weird Dick Cheney voice that sounded like Jon Stewart’s impersonation of Dick Cheney, like the Penguin from the old Batman show, but where he could have gotten the idea of Dick Cheney as a psychiatrist, I will never know)…
I will admit one thing. I admired his ability to make us think, without having to do it himself. That is a rare skill. And he could do mushy, sappy, over the top poetry… (of course a lot of it he just copied from weird Japanese folk bands)… I even based a recent post on his strangely moving writings, and I think it really pissed him off that I got better reviews from all of you than he usually did… he could be quite bitter…
What I like… liked… best about Mr. Hotpants… (huh? oh, my mistake)… Hotspurt… was that he would type bizarre little comments back and forth with me, playing word games, being silly, and that reminded me of my friend John, who died of brain cancer a few years back. Well, Hotspunk was no John… (except in that one morals charge case, but that was just ‘john’)… but he was the closest to John I could find… (Ironically, Hotspark told me that he always tried to stay close to a john, but I am not sure if he meant the bathroom kind, or the morals charge kind)…
I am sorry that that bull killed Mr. Hotsperm… I told him he was too old for professional bull riding, and that the bulls really preferred if the riders started their rides on top of their backs, and not slung underneath, but he never listened to me)…
Good luck, Mr. Hotflash, wherever you are down there.
I was taught not to speak ill of the dead. And my mom always said, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all… so bye.

———————————————–

Now get over to Ed’s blog and tell him what you really think of him…

(If you don’t know Ed,  and that might be a good thing in this instance, tell him what you think of him anyway… he would have wanted it that way)…