I don’t mean individually, but in general, which warrior culture in history strikes you as the most awesome? There is no wrong answer. I just want to see what people think. I have given a few suggestions for the top ten list:
The Spartans- greased-up abs, cool helmets, and long, pointy spears…
The samurai- armed with the best swords ever made, superb training and a fatalistic outlook…
The vikings- like Hells Angels… but with armor, shields, swords and axes…
The ninjas- years of training, sweet gear, and stealth capabilities…
The Apaches- these guys could outrun a horse over desert terrain in an all-day footrace, and when they had a horse they didn’t like, they rode it until it died, and used it’s intestines as a water bottle… hardcore…
The Zulus- young warriors were forced to live a segregated life… away from women… until they earned the right to marry by prowess on the battlefield… sexual repression = overt aggression…
If you have any other suggestions, I would love to hear them.
I, myself, whilst being a particularly nice and funny guy, do have the capacity for being something of a bad-ass. Hey, I spent a lot of time on the wrong side of the tracks, have a big mouth, don’t know when to shut up, and have a penchant for sticking up for people who are being bullied. You may recall that I once told you the story about a time when I was in Amsterdam, and I stepped in when I saw a pimp hitting one of his girls. We were in a dark, narrow alley at the time. He walked up to me, suddenly realized that I was 6 feet 4 inches tall, weighed 230 pounds, had size 15 feet, and wasn’t backing down.
He reached inside his jacket and told me he had a gun.
I looked him right in the eyes and said: “Hey, this might be a really good time to get it out.”
To be honest, if he did have a gun, I figured I would rather wrestle him for it than try to outrun the bullets. He backed down.
I rarely let myself get really angry… I wouldn’t like me when I’m angry… but now and then, a person is behaving in a way that calls for a little confrontation. Here are two of my favorite ‘tough guy’ lines I like to use on people in those kinds of situations.
- “If you are going to keep being a dick, I am going to squeeze you until something shoots out of the top of your head.”
- “I am going to climb you like an angry gorilla on a short, ugly Christmas tree.”
Pouring My Art Out 
The Maori of New Zealand. Even if they aren’t the most vicious, they look the coolest.
I do like their fierce fighting facial expressions…
The Visigoths sacked Rome. I suppose they weren’t doing their job properly and allowing corner shops to pop up everywhere.
But the Vandals got more famous for destructive sackage…
True
Those other barbarians were slackers
I have to vote for the moose. They are vicious when aroused, one solid tonne of muscle and delicious meaty bits that will trample anything in their path. Don’t let their relative stoicism deceive you. When called into action, they are a formidable foe, their passion only matched by the heated intercourse of their post-battle travails. Also, schmack!
Well… no one knows more about aroused moose than you… so…
That’s right, holmes. Me and the moose are tight.
I’m sure some of them are… and I know you usually are… oh yeah… bonus slam, double entendre …(wait, why does my spell checker not recognize entendre???)… score for the win!
Mooooooose!
you like the moose with the mostest
The tough guy lines are great – I’ve made a note of the gorilla one, I reckon I could make that work in an English accent. Also – I really like the Vikings, but I don’t think you can beat the Roman Army for sheer efficiency and organisation.
Ooooh… good call on the Romans. They did have butchery down to a science.
I think the most badass were the Mongols. They conquered pretty much the largest empire of all time, from Vietnam to Poland and from Siberia to Syria.
Good point. I mean, the Japanese did beat them in every battle they fought, but it was a storm that really saved them.
Is the gorilla line intended to confuse your enemy into surrendering? And I vote the guys who blow themselves up…although I may have misjudged the point of your poll………so to speak
It is… and I take your point… although, might I suggest that you vote for the Japanese Kamikaze pilots, just so nobody thinks you are pro terrorist?
That’s a capital idea! I’d get myself into all manner of scrapes without you: I vote for the Japanese kamikaze; may they never return, I mean I hope they do return in that that means they failed their mission, but I don’t want then back if you see what I mean…
I do see…
…all
ha… yup