Yup, you heard me, I just became an ordained minister… it takes like five seconds on-line, and is absolutely free… If I ever want to perform an actual wedding, I do need to send a small fee to get my official license, but other than that, I am good to go.
Also, just so you know, I picked that particular church for two reasons. First, they didn’t say anything about not doing gay marriages like some of the sites did, and second, Universal Life Church seems like the perfect church for a non-religious minister like me. I mean, who doesn’t worship life… and the universe?
Pouring My Art Out 
Well wait that sounded bad. I’d marry you but I meant I wouldn’t let you marry me because being married is less merry and well…. ugh forget it.
I knew what you meant.
I’d ask you to marry me but I’d rather be merry
Can’t always have your wedding cake and eat it too.
I think I want to get married just so you can host. Host? Is that the right term? I expect it would be if you were in charge of proceedings.
I would just say the words… and do the table arrangements… and all the decorating… and pick out your suits… and bake and decorate the cake… and write your vows… and throw your bachelor party…
everything but marry me then
It is funny you should mention that. I am going to do a post soon about an idea I have to start a business like that… You know those people who have a van and will come to your house and groom your dog or mow your lawn? I want to do that with weddings. Cheap and fast… wham, bam, thank you ma’am, whir, blur, thank you sir.
So….your middle name is actually Redblob….
Redex
Starts with H, ends with D — Harold, Howard, Hildebrand, Hodad…
I like Hodad… an old California surfer slang word.
Hmmm I think I am too tired to dig up a clever response to that. Father Art, Hmmmm?
close enough!
Oh Lord…
yes?
I’m laughing cuz that’s the response I expected. Any other response would have broken my heart. Glad you’re used to your new title.
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
And whoo and hoo…..
no///not those
K. I’ll.just.call you Lord. I stop at Master, though.
not until I take over the universe…
I’m speechless.
I will say a prayer to fix that.
I hear there’s some sort of tax break you can get, now that you’re a minister.
Any donations made to me should be untaxable… for me… and you… so…
Can you do exorcisms?
I could always do those… spirits love me…
Well, then, perhaps you could exorcise the demons that created that mail-order ministry website.
(Walked right into that one, didn’t you? Please don’t hate me.)
That was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you [bows to audience].
ha