An open letter to all of you who are thinking of going on a shooting spree… (I originally posted this on December 22, 2012)…

Dear crazy person,

I understand that you are troubled. You have issues. You are angry and frustrated and feel the need to lash out. To show the world that they can’t push you around anymore. And you want the world to notice you and remember that you were here.

We all feel that way sometimes. We just don’t pick up a gun… or guns… and start shooting random strangers.

But I have an idea that is almost as crazy as you are.

Just put a little more thought into who you are going to shoot.

Why would you want to be remembered as the person who killed innocent children? What can you possibly gain from that? With a little effort, you can be remembered as the most creative and thoughtful of all the gun-wielding maniacs.

Here are just a few suggestions that will at least make people realize that you were trying to make a point, and aren’t just another run-of-the-mill nutbag;

Get a passport, go to a foreign country, and go on a shooting spree in a terrorist training camp.

If you don’t like to travel overseas, you can substitute a Ku Klux Klan rally.

Try shooting gang-bangers or crack dealers. The cops won’t even bother looking for you the first few times.

And last but not least, go to a convention of the National Rifle Association and have a blast… pun intended… because the irony would really make people take notice of you.


*** I am not advocating violence. This letter is aimed solely at those people who are already determined to go out and shoot people. Also, this is a joke. I have been ignoring the horrible school shooting because my mind couldn’t cope with it. And now my anger is eating away at my guts, and I had to let it out. I am in no way saying that is okay to kill terrorists, racists, sociopathic gang members, people who sell crack, or those people who think we should all be able to get as many guns as we want, and just came out with the idea of putting armed guards in every school, so people who want to die in a shooting spree will be drawn to the schools even more… but hey, as long as all those guns are out there in the hands of desperate, lonely, broken people, we need to offer some alternatives.

And besides. All of the people on my list should be armed themselves, right? So according to NRA logic, they should be fine when the crazy guy shows up.***

*** Legal disclaimer*** Please do not go out and shoot anybody!!! This was just a joke. You always have the option of NOT shooting anyone. Please take that option. You can get help if you just ask. Or take out your anger and frustration by starting a blog. Or get yourself a dog… that might help. I am not telling you to kill people. Don’t blame it on me.


About pouringmyartout

You will laugh at my antics... That is my solemn promise to you... Or your money back... Stop on by...
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2 Responses to An open letter to all of you who are thinking of going on a shooting spree… (I originally posted this on December 22, 2012)…

  1. I don’t think I was following you in 2012, so thanks for re-publishing this, Art.

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